When people connect their twitter & tumblr to Facebook. Just, no.

RT if you have a big dick.

Sometimes I can't wait to make new friends. I'm tired of the people in my school. They're shit.

"How big is your dick?" "I'm typing this with my penis. My computer is downstairs. I'm upstairs."

Remember the time when Michael Jackson died and people started listening to his songs again?

In Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan 'Finger-lickin' good' came out as 'Eat your fingers off.'

my weakness is being too nice

Next month is next year.

"A man who called 999 about a UFO was left embarrassed after later realising it was actually the moon." ok someone kick him in the head.

That awkward moment when the wedding ring doesn't fit.

it's so annoying when people have staring problems!

hate going to the cinema with people who ask questions about everything in the film

How can some people say 'Holla' 'Swag' and 'Nigga' and still take their life seriously.

China has trained 700,000 ducks and chickens to attack at the sound of a whistle in order to fight a national plague of locusts.

#thankyousteve for creating the iPhone & the iPod because without them my life would've been completely different.

"Breaking up with your Chinese girlfriend because there's sum ting wong"

I love the movie Easy A. Emma Stone is so pretty.

I want to wake up with a Scottish accent.

I think my tweets are annoying & I annoy people on twitter and just tweeting this might be annoying. Yupp

Summer Heights High, funniest Australian show I've seen in my life.