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One time, in 2009, I put my phone down for almost 8 minutes.
Is the Internet almost over?
Still don't know what happens inside a dishwasher.
I know all I need to know about you after seeing your cell phone case.
Be careful, I will listen to every second of your pocket dial voicemail.
Enough is enough, faces in pictures staring at us.
Don't you have a phone to look at so you can stop talking to me?
Well, clearly this isn't a Tweet of the Day.
Babies need to stop falling down, it's not that fucking hard to walk.
Let's face it, I'm not for anyone.
I went outside today, you guys! It was alright.
If your text includes any emoticon, prepare to start sexting.
Still unsure why people think differently than me.
Why are athletes always pointing to clouds in the sky?
Five eye rolls before getting out of bed this morning.
Hey, kids, shut up about your dreams and get a job.
Still waiting for my first rodeo.
Waiters who don't write down orders are not to be trusted in life.
Just ran the stairs and dinner came up a bit if anyone would like to make out.
Time to work on these abs/not eat for 3 months.