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Everyone's all having kids or getting married..I'm just sitting here like "I want a new tattoo"
The worst part of the day is when I have nothing to distract me from my mind.
If Twitter has taught me anything it's:
1)Most women have an awesome sense of humor
2)Being married is fucking awful
3)Canadians are real
This motherfucker stole my mood ring. I have no idea how I feel about that!
I was voted least likely to be voted for once. By my mom.
I love being on vacation, but nothing beats coming home and shitting in your own toilet