Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
It's not about Followers or Favs. It's about Friends. For fuck sakes I think I started my period I'll be back in a bit.
Please call me out publicly if I unfollow you. I do so like it when my decisions are re-affirmed.
Ever type a really good tweet and look up to see it says -22 ?
All good things come to those that wait, right? OK I'm ready. I haven't moved my ass from this chair in nearly 4 hours. Bring it.
I had real sugar in my coffee for the first time in nearly a year and well long story short, the house is painted.
I just learned there is a Twitterati. People who think they're better than other people. WTF? That's like being King of a Pile of Dog Shit.
Kinda wish some of you fuckers would give up making fucking Lent jokes for Lent.
Well Holding up a "SHOW ME YOUR TITS" sign on the corner didn't work.Guess I come back to Twitter and ask here.
TSA: Sir is that liquid in your pocket? Me: Well it wasn't until you grabbed my penis. But yeah theres liquid in there now.
I don't have much of a pick up line. I just lick my forehead and that seems to work just fine.
You think coffee is the best way to wake up. Try the 'catching iPhone midway on it's plunge into the toilet'. Seems to work quicker for me.
I'm like the dollar bill that the Coke machine won't accept. Nothing wrong with me. Just been in circulation too long.
Joined Twitter, thought I may be funny. Joined Favstar and found out I wasn't. Said 99% of us
Having this huge wiener and no girlfriend is like driving a Ferrari in a School Zone
Hey auto-correct. I am not a fucking lumberjack. How about assuming fir is for?
If I say I don't know. You fucking asking again won't make me any smarter.
Ladies. If a penis in your vag is even remotely as satisfying as this Q-Tip in my ear. I soooo get it now.
Ladies please try to remember it's SOME men not just Men. Thank you. On behalf of the 5 good ones still left.
The 5 second rule is not applicable to M&Ms found in the sofa cushions, right? Please dear jeebus tell me I'm right. There's like 20 of them
You fuckin kids with all these names for pot. AK47 etc. Here this is easier: bad weed, good weed and holy shit I pissed my pants weed!