Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
You asked for my opinion when you hit the fucking follow button.
Just remember who loved you when you had 100 followers.
Twitter is whatever you blow it out of proportion to be.
Life was better before everything needed a charger.
Hey Birthers! You've never seen Jesus Christ's birth certificate. Yet you believe that fantasy. Shut the fuck up.
More Boobs. Less Bombs.
Which came first your inability to laugh at yourself or the stick up your ass?
They had Child Protective Services when I was a kid. Her name was Gramma
If it bothers you so much. Why don't you write what color your eyes are across your boobs.
I can be as emotionally unavailable as you need me to be.
Let me know when your vibrator buys you a diamond bracelet.
How do you know where the boundaries are if you don't cross them on occasion?
I'm the semi-colon of the dating pool. I can be used but apparently no one knows how.
My significant other is a nap.
You can hate weed all you want. I bet it was a stoner that thought of putting M&Ms in trail mix, though.
The McRib is only for a limited time because it takes so long to save up that many pig assholes.
Put those ridiculous antlers on your car. So the Mayans know whom to take first.
Times are tough. Take the two Tic-Tacs and get off my porch, kid.
I've watched Intervention. So no, no I won't be attending your surprise party.
Um hey vegans. You know you die, too. Right?
Don't buy bonus features. Donate it to The March of Dimes