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First time I've ever been in an Apple store. Holy hipster Heaven Batman. I could make a quilt out of all the ironic scarves in here.
Whaddya mean staying up all night's a bad idea? Have you *seen* this PacMan high score?
Momma just asked *me* how I make the rice because she likes it better than her own. You can see this smile from space.
I am happy to report that I have met a young lady who thinks I'm interesting to talk to.
IRL
Feet don't fail me now.
Hot classroom, fly buzzing my head, Calculus on the board, sitting behind a greasy Warcraft hero.
God whatever I did I apologize. Profusely
Not only am I going to geek out & watch Star Trek this evening, but I'm going to the IMAX theater to boot. My tattoos all just fell off.
Looks like I did make that test my bitch. & a 92 means that it was the last Calculus class I'll have to take in my life. FUCK YES.
In one fell swoop, dude just turned himself into the Guy Kawasaki of the Favrd crowd. That's *talent*.
People bitching about sports tweets today remind me of why I used to stuff them in their locker. Without their inhaler.
I never believed them when they told me but now I know better. Pancake hangovers *do* exist. Also, uuunngghh.
Some are Favrd once every 2 tweets, me like every 2 weeks. But I gotta say, when it comes time to play, I'm the best out of all these freaks
Alright I'm back. Soooo, where the white women at? (This tweet contains at least 50% post-consumer content)
Oh man, this lady's wearing orange jeans, an orange tank top, & patent orange heels. I let Charlie Brown know the Great Pumpkin has a sister
For tonight's entertainment, we shall watch Adventures of the Ceiling Fan: Tales of Insomnia.
In case you were wondering, it takes 2 loaded double turkey burgers and a rather large wedge of chocolate cake to completely disable my legs
Puerto Rico HEY!
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