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@teezplz OF COURSE ITS NOT YOU, MY AZZY ONLY SMELLS OF THE FINEST FRESHEST CASHMERE STOCKINGS.
@carlosinferi my point is, your burps have the power to down cell towers. Use your powers for good.
"these are the things that make you my friend. not that you're awesome and understanding and adorable..
"You're just mad 'cause you're not invited to our creepy unicorn orgy." - @carlosaparicio
Totally buying an "I <3 penis" bumper sticker and giving it to @carlosaparicio to put on his jeans.
This guy in front of me at the red light literally has an "I <3 vagina" bumper sticker.
I have resolved to start calling the past tense of tweet "twat" instead of "tweeted".
@teezplz @boganjustice HEY GUYS IM TOTALLY EAVESDROPPING ON YOU THROUGH MY TWITTER FEED IS THAT CREEPY Y/N
[7:33:53 PM] Portia: Did you just compare getting toilet water splashed on your ass to kissing a girl?
[7:34:19 PM] Carlos Aparicio: maybe
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