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Don't make me come up there, Canada...
Welcome to the Jungle. Are you familiar with our menu?
Even the Wayans Brothers think Adam Sandler should stop.
Spoiler alert: at the end of "Battleship" my brother kicks over the board.
MacCauley Culkin looks so old and weird the NFL immediately asked him to do next year's Super Bowl halftime.
Jesus is loading up his sleigh.
People who receive "text messages" also watch "television programs" and eat "pizza pies".
Unless your name is Mr. Rogers or Mr. Cobain, let's not do the cardigan thing. You kinda look like a hump.
Jesus was a Socialist.
Contrary to what the mainstream media would have you believe, banana peels are not terribly slippery.
To know me is to kind of know me.
Dudes with mustaches: whats with the attitude?
Hey, people. Let's chill out with all the eye contact. Freaking me out.
Things that we did. The things that were said. The bench by the River and whispers of the dead. Ours now...though we won't speak again.
Newt Gingrich is a real special kind of asshole. #CNNdebate #scdebate
I have this feeling even Adam Sandler isn't going to see the new Adam Sandler movie.
Hey, everyone, I know about the crazy tweet about me. Thanks. I'm looking into it.
Author of Parcheesi Made Easy
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