Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Really? I can't bring an eye lash curler on a plane? If I can take down the plane with an eyelash curler, I fucking earned the plane.
If somebody hates you for no reason, give that mother fucker a reason.
Oh you're from New York? Bitch, I'm from Florida. We eat faces and kill people for buying Skittles. Don't fuck with me.
Listen, I’m a girl. So please don’t ask me what a transmission is because I don’t know anything about sports.
The weirdest part about working in a tanning salon is getting hit on by guys who don't know they're gay yet.
*take off shoes*
*take off clothes*
*realize I look hot naked*
Fuck the scale. Who wants pancakes?
Did I really just hear someone say they love gluten-free vegan ice cream?
Fuck you, you don't deserve ice cream.
Nice guys don't finish last... They finish in the shower, alone.
This vending machine just gave me two bags of Skittles instead of one and I now accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior.
One of my inspirational tweets got more stars than a blow job tweet and I don't think I understand how twitter works anymore.
An idiot, a whore, and a brunette walk into a bar... and everyone is all "Hey Kim Kardashian, can I get your autograph?"
You can be the nicest most sincere person in the world and people will still try to put you down
Don't you dare lose yourself because of it
I seriously appreciate the guys on here who can genuinely interact without hitting on me or being creepy. Both of you are great <3
Him: why are you ignoring me?
Me: sorry, didn't have my phone
Him: you're tweeting
Him: and you just tweeted this conversation
The Toddlers & Tiaras season finale should feature a pageant where every little girl is a winner and somebody stabs all the moms.
The difference between a nice guy and a creepy guy is if he is attractive.
Sending 17 text messages explaining why you're not crazy seems a little counterintuitive.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and you're probably the "Popcorn" setting on my microwave.
Facebook: "does this picture make me look fat"
Twitter: "I look fat as fuck in this picture but who wants to cum on my tits"
Well.. My ex just texted me saying he misses me and I'm trying to figure out how I have such great signal because I must be in fucking hell.
I'm Alexx, I'm 21, and my favorite thing about being so pretty is not being ugly. Because, ew.