I wish @directv & @viacom would quit tweeting how they have our backs & negotiate their contracts. Bottom line, they have THEIR backs. $

@daveryankdwb Please RT? Maverick got loose 1/20 in Maple Grove. If you see him, call 612-590-3375.  http://lockerz.com/s/278686810 

Your business email shouldn't 1) Be blue sky & cloud background 2) Have bible verse below the signature 3) Have Precious Moments animation

NINE dogs seized from backyard shed in #StPaul need rescue. http://t.co/tlANubSd They'll be put to sleep on Mon. if not saved. Can you help?

My uniform from now until the election. Please, don't vote to discriminate. Vote no on the marriage amendment.  http://lockerz.com/s/257617873 

If women lose rights over their bodies, what's next? We become property? Second class citizens? Baby factories?

I miss Bill Clinton. Remember when we had a balanced budget, weren't in 2 wars, & our biggest worry was whether or not he got a blow job?

Vote No. Honestly, it's a no-brainer. You either believe all people were created equal, or you're a bigot. Bottom line, folks.

Dear iPhone, I've said this before and I'll say it again, I'm never intending to use the word "ducking".

If u try hard enough, u can make sure you don't have fun no matter where you are. Conversely, if u have a good attitude, it's always fun.

Anyone can be your friend when things are good. That's easy. It's the ppl who are still around when everything falls apart that matter most

Holy fuck Lindsey Buckingham. Do you not age? Jesus.

Apparently Minneapolis got a new pope today or something. pic.twitter.com/1KT6Vaux2b

I dislike April fools pranks. #GetOffMyLawn

"Do you have this in a size 00 petite? This 0 is too big." Poor little lamb barely had the strength to get up after I smacked her. ;)

Hey everyone, focus on living your lives. Don't deliberately be unkind to anyone. Be positive. Have a happy, light heart. Its just easier.

Yeah, I favorite my own tweets. If I don't, who will? Plus, I amuse myself. Judge if you must.

@msp_traffic This is Minnesota. We don't know how to merge. Duh! ;)

Well, it's all fun and games until someone shits the pool.

That was redundant. Abercrombie and douchebag are the same.