"Power Lloyd ate my pussy once."
"Okay here is your medical marijuana card."

Why are we giving presents to this dead piece of shit pic.twitter.com/HPu5fAfw

I bet Guy Fieri has fucked a lot of Hot Pockets

If I could be any dinosaur, I'd be the one that fucks Newman in my 40 page Jurassic Park erotic fan fiction entitled "Fucking Newman"

"Afternoon everybody!"
"NORM!"
"What can I get you Norm?"
"Oh, I don't know coach, maybe A N O R B F U L L O F S A T A N I C P O W E R

So I just finished college.

Watchin the new Reba sitcom



*puts on sunglasses*


and jacking off

"Gander is socially constructed"-goose sociologist

FACT: a group of teenagers is called an Angst

Clarissa denies the Holocaust

You guys wanna hear my Robin Williams impression? *unhinges jaw revealing Robin Williams*

http://t.co/yG6yKr6w

Thaddeus left his mark at this bar http://t.co/JQCulQkR

Star Wars VII: Return of the Mack

Most Likely To Touch Himself During His Own Pathetic Sham Of A Wedding

If there is no self, how can we have selfies?

Kickstarter for me to make a Vine of me Instagramming me connecting my Facebook to my Twitter and then posting it on Tumblr

Hello Thaddeus, this is God. I need you to steal the constitution.

Joe Biden cooly saying "I know" when the guy at Chipotle tells him the guac is extra

I bet at least one of you fuckers called your home network "Wong Kar-wai-fi"