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Non smokers look down on smokers. Smokers look down on paan masala chewers. Masala chewers don't look at all & spit on shoes of non smokers.
In a GD we were asked to say a few words about 'Sex'.. so I said 'Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure.' and sat down.
You lead your entire life wondering "chaar log kya kahenge", and when you finally meet them, all they say is "Raam naam satya hai"
Investment in your children are subject to market risks. Please read the "chaar log kya kahenge?" document carefully.
If I ever have a daughter, when she's grown up, I will show her "Taken" & say, "Make smart life choices because I can't do shit like that!"
Absence is important. Even the most intoxicating perfume loses its charm after a while because of its mere constant presence.
Every girl wants a Raj. Then cries foul when it turns out to be a Thackeray.
Went to sign up with RSS but they said I can't join so I beat up a few of their folks in protest and now I'm head of their local wing
When they finally learn to live without you, let them.
You and I, we are like cigarettes and cancer, rats and plagues, women and madness. Not necessarily linked, but tainted into togetherness.
If websites were women, IRCTC would be your mom.
"Mom can I.."
Cousin: Bhaiya boards are over. Ab to aish rahegi. Ghar wale bhi kuch nahi bolenge!
Me: *wipes a tear from eye* Tu saala chutiya hi reh gaya
Love makes the world go round. Faith can move mountains. Because fuck science.
If they get your sarcasm, it's a moral victory. If they don't, it's an intellectual victory.
They said I could be anything, so I became a burden on the society.
Go to Twitter settings. Scroll down to "Your Twitter Archive". Download ALL your tweets. Even your first. DO IT. DO EEEEEET NOW!
Friend-zone < Bro-zone < "Yaar mera BF kal tere sheher aa raha hai. Usko ghuma de please.."-zone.
Kashmiri girls are so damn hot man!! No wonder two whole nations are constantly fighting over it.
RTs are not endorsements. tweets are not opinions. DMs are not flirting. words are not winds. account holder is not too sure what he was trying to say