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Non smokers look down on smokers. Smokers look down on paan masala chewers. Masala chewers don't look at all & spit on shoes of non smokers.
In a GD we were asked to say a few words about 'Sex'.. so I said 'Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure.' and sat down.
Go to Twitter settings. Scroll down to "Your Twitter Archive". Download ALL your tweets. Even your first. DO IT. DO EEEEEET NOW!
"I don't want to talk about it, so I posted some lyrics for you to figure out how it's all your fault." ~ girls
Absence is important. Even the most intoxicating perfume loses its charm after a while because of its mere constant presence.
Every girl wants a Raj. Then cries foul when it turns out to be a Thackeray.
Kashmiri girls are so damn hot man!! No wonder two whole nations are constantly fighting over it.
If I ever have a daughter, when she's grown up, I will show her "Taken" & say, "Make smart life choices because I can't do shit like that!"
Love makes the world go round. Faith can move mountains. Because fuck science.
Don't be an asshole. The government hates competition.
As a kid you're cute so every girl who sees you goes "Awww", but this awww-ing stops when you grow up. This is known as awww-zone depletion.
She may look like a damsel in distress but the dragon you're thinking of slaying is of her own making. Yep. She's a modern woman.
Just need two women now to complete my love triangle. Volunteers?
Cousin: Bhaiya boards are over. Ab to aish rahegi. Ghar wale bhi kuch nahi bolenge!
Me: *wipes a tear from eye* Tu saala chutiya hi reh gaya
They said I could be anything, so I became a burden on the society.
An engineer walks into a bar. Then he steps out and goes to a theka instead. Because gareebi..
It must be such a dilemma for Chinese princesses ;
Whether to kiss a frog, or to eat it.
You love someone. You need someone. The trouble is these are two different people.
"System hi corrupt hai poora. Nothing ever works." ~ guy either ranting about the nation, or his laptop.
Rahul Gandhi has ruined the name Rahul for all guys just like Savita bhabhi ruined the name Savita for all girls.
I once said something funny. And now all these people follow me hoping I will do it again someday soon.