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  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    In a GD we were asked to say a few words about 'Sex'.. so I said 'Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure.' and sat down.

    • 486
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    ImcjiNamitaThechalu_chokriThe_WeirdFishA_AnthwalThatVividSmokebhaveek9iAliTweet
    • 823
    • RETWEETS
    dpsnghThatVividSmokeRuchiraBajaj1iAliTweetzubaanparlagaamashwinniwhsashilpabansalPUNchayati
    mihirmodiscratchysinghcholesteroILoKarloFollow
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    Non smokers look down on smokers. Smokers look down on paan masala chewers. Masala chewers don't look at all & spit on shoes of non smokers.

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    TrulyMonicakhatte_angoorHumourMinisterwickednoizeTheNymphBugtheWoohooGuyFebWiniamsexified
    • 928
    • RETWEETS
    ROFL_Beard1khatte_angoorHumourMinisterpseudo_atheistcouchgoddessFebWinPUNchayatiMichmerising
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    If I ever have a daughter, when she's grown up, I will show her "Taken" & say, "Make smart life choices because I can't do shit like that!"

    • 223
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    SushPediaMorning_SiestaCParyaniHarshal_shrmauma8987HGaddamwarHumourMinisterlawaljalal
    • 460
    • RETWEETS
    badtackleScraggly_Goateemukeshsahu1983jesaltoliabhawikkotadiaMockingbird018tweetofanutpratikpangtey
    LazerPunchabbeyaar
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    Absence is important. Even the most intoxicating perfume loses its charm after a while because of its mere constant presence.

    • 258
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    shi3489NamitaTheBaluFloyd_architecturizeWahiyat_PJsdpsnghA_AnthwaliAliTweet
    • 374
    • RETWEETS
    thetinyshotvodkariousiabhijayveil_insanitygunaphysicsdpsnghChuness_prashantkadre
    TinyMarkTwainSTUPIDiesm
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    Dear parents,
    Investment in your children are subject to market risks. Please read the "chaar log kya kahenge?" document carefully.

    • 171
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    junejarajivteraKaminaDostssshhkoihaiOMG_YOU_anshoogroveravisharma1109kevalhariavipul_tweets
    • 364
    • RETWEETS
    AxyParekhraghav_arorateraKaminaDostshilpabansalssshhkoihaipratimannKevalpatel33kakshat
  • Psilosophy
    • 167
    • FAVS
    TrishantDevvarun_chakroaalsi_slothGreekFraudkhooni_murgaBimbilikibilebigautam_k_Jhabra_696
    • 330
    • RETWEETS
    iKatoliciousSajHossainAnkur2501HumourMinistervarun_chakromanthankhokhaniaalsi_slothkhooni_murga
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    If websites were women, IRCTC would be your mom.

    "Mom can I.."

    "NO"

    • 131
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    junaidxenoghanta_gyananishrpillaivishwakandalaKirtikaChandaniChuness_CaptainShishirviveksurat
    • 304
    • RETWEETS
    som_160shilpabansaljunaidxenoanirudh_arsenalscorpioyadavTweetNotSoFunnyMsBambasticghanta_gyan
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    Every girl wants a Raj. Then cries foul when it turns out to be a Thackeray.

    • 127
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    JeyenthVTheGhostRider31dukkarrNamitaThemuh_phattChapariaAvishekAnkita05SharmaA_Anthwal
    • 296
    • RETWEETS
    sohinimaitrasanket0087rajs51MohMaayaLYT00vijay4103Poseidonunclelahirip
    mihirmodi
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    Cousin: Bhaiya boards are over. Ab to aish rahegi. Ghar wale bhi kuch nahi bolenge!
    Me: *wipes a tear from eye* Tu saala chutiya hi reh gaya

    • 135
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    Sufy_goonermaxpratA_Anthwalbhaveek9SatanKiNaniTrulyMonicakhatte_angoorAdvanceDexter
    • 260
    • RETWEETS
    piousdevile_anuragJebagx_saurav8edheadSoundOfSaadHitesh_MufcMoHitBhati07
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    Love makes the world go round. Faith can move mountains. Because fuck science.

    • 133
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    Scraggly_Goateehillihayviolet_heartinsherlock_ergouravmalhotraanuragprateekmeraydostkhatte_angoor
    • 254
    • RETWEETS
    SagarKulkarni15DhawalNigammissmalayaleeviolet_heartinJaweriyaaNumbYaarmeraydostBurgerrB
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    You and I, we are like cigarettes and cancer, rats and plagues, women and madness. Not necessarily linked, but tainted into togetherness.

    • 169
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    zubin_jacobmyles_morrisonJAKELOMOTTAThatHippieBoyUdaasPriestMichmerisingmihirmodirsingh_28
    • 179
    • RETWEETS
    palindromemanTheTweetHawkerHeelariiousShrutiSeTakkarmihirmodirsingh_28Shaitaaan_BachiHumourMinister
    mihirmodi
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    Go to Twitter settings. Scroll down to "Your Twitter Archive". Download ALL your tweets. Even your first. DO IT. DO EEEEEET NOW!

    • 122
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    ibipawanHemantPatel32Nuclear__BananaDiretto_BhoolwerineWangCandicetwitvaswistyloony
    • 198
    • RETWEETS
    Nuclear__BananaHain__AlllahdinMarieALangerRoyal_optimistCouchCriticizerIAmSulalaTangledDokhtar
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    They said I could be anything, so I became a burden on the society.

    • 117
    • FAVS
    NamitaTheChapariaAvishekdpsnghdumbagarwaliAliTweetLindaInDisguiselyndsey_hatch2tickytacky
    • 194
    • RETWEETS
    csyvianhiphopsaurabhjobin3018edheadChapariaAvishekshareeflaundadpsnghdumbagarwal
    mihirmodi
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    When they finally learn to live without you, let them.

    • 129
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    Hmmm_erSmileyShaileywickednoizeveyron_bhatsid__1504NotAnAamAdmikitAnuragEzazi_
    • 179
    • RETWEETS
    MukhhtalifTrippyWomanwhackbhav_The_StandardHardSpartanKidAnushaPoddar1PeachesNPorksagarcasm
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    The secret ingredient in the special chai that you order at the tapri is the tears of the poor Chhotu who could not get an education.

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    JawanChhokraankithocMinuteParticle_ThatVividSmokeKeepBlabberingHwy99Bossanant13uAfflictiveLife
    • 206
    • RETWEETS
    MinuteParticle_KeepBlabberingmihirmodiNotAnAamAdmiParsa_MUpiousdevilSmilefranchiseewrvaibhav1988
    mihirmodi
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    If they get your sarcasm, it's a moral victory. If they don't, it's an intellectual victory.

    • 119
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    ilungaizenitinysharmaVaibhavMundra1Jahiiidarishilicious_nittunisiaAishani13TangledDokhtar
    • 173
    • RETWEETS
    ashishsuryanitinysharmaComputerJunkieeblazingBrainzrishilicious_manmeetk1003nittunisiaRoguishOfficial
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    Friend-zone < Bro-zone < "Yaar mera BF kal tere sheher aa raha hai. Usko ghuma de please.."-zone.

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    neeteshgHumourMinisterChuness_Empty_Boxxpiyush_poohGuddu___himansh11129195Percykhandekar
    • 188
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    HumourMinisteryo_maddy_mamakrist0ph3rHitTheHaycoolgirl_hjhandbidexterousmissmalayaleepiyush_pooh
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    Kashmiri girls are so damn hot man!! No wonder two whole nations are constantly fighting over it.

    • 112
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    IbnnbatutaVidaFaithMrAwwtisticcric_shailendraFirstAidBoxxshivamcoool24twiteeyapagshobhit
    • 173
    • RETWEETS
    IbnnbatutaHitTheHayMrAwwtisticSwarnabhpatilsaishJuhihumera________OnlineDoctor4Marwaari
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    I check my phone the way new mothers check to see if their baby is breathing.

    • 96
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    kalyannandaRHOp7EvileSkullCatcherOfdRyeTheGayWhopperblonderzzKirtikaChandanimounphat
    • 188
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    ZeydLsmartpaagalsalonimunotcrazyabhishOneDragPasskunwarbirPoutedPinkLipsw00f_w00f
    mihirmodi
  • Psilosophy
      no @Psilosophy

    Don't be an asshole. The government hates competition.

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    HumourMinisteraalsi_vellaFirstAidBoxxOjasismRichaDKumarkitAnuragiamhorcruxLohapurush
    • 192
    • RETWEETS
    nareshobanishy_ladkaHumourMinisteraalsi_vellaOjasismLOLbwoyRichaDKumarRusticBlue_
@Psilosophy

@Psilosophy

apathetic