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In a GD we were asked to say a few words about 'Sex'.. so I said 'Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure.' and sat down.
Non smokers look down on smokers. Smokers look down on paan masala chewers. Masala chewers don't look at all & spit on shoes of non smokers.
If I ever have a daughter, when she's grown up, I will show her "Taken" & say, "Make smart life choices because I can't do shit like that!"
Absence is important. Even the most intoxicating perfume loses its charm after a while because of its mere constant presence.
Investment in your children are subject to market risks. Please read the "chaar log kya kahenge?" document carefully.
If websites were women, IRCTC would be your mom.
"Mom can I.."
Every girl wants a Raj. Then cries foul when it turns out to be a Thackeray.
Cousin: Bhaiya boards are over. Ab to aish rahegi. Ghar wale bhi kuch nahi bolenge!
Me: *wipes a tear from eye* Tu saala chutiya hi reh gaya
Love makes the world go round. Faith can move mountains. Because fuck science.
You and I, we are like cigarettes and cancer, rats and plagues, women and madness. Not necessarily linked, but tainted into togetherness.
Go to Twitter settings. Scroll down to "Your Twitter Archive". Download ALL your tweets. Even your first. DO IT. DO EEEEEET NOW!
They said I could be anything, so I became a burden on the society.
When they finally learn to live without you, let them.
The secret ingredient in the special chai that you order at the tapri is the tears of the poor Chhotu who could not get an education.
If they get your sarcasm, it's a moral victory. If they don't, it's an intellectual victory.
Friend-zone < Bro-zone < "Yaar mera BF kal tere sheher aa raha hai. Usko ghuma de please.."-zone.
Kashmiri girls are so damn hot man!! No wonder two whole nations are constantly fighting over it.
I check my phone the way new mothers check to see if their baby is breathing.
Don't be an asshole. The government hates competition.