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Non smokers look down on smokers. Smokers look down on paan masala chewers. Masala chewers don't look at all & spit on shoes of non smokers.
In a GD we were asked to say a few words about 'Sex'.. so I said 'Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure.' and sat down.
If I ever have a daughter, when she's grown up, I will show her "Taken" & say, "Make smart life choices because I can't do shit like that!"
Absence is important. Even the most intoxicating perfume loses its charm after a while because of its mere constant presence.
If websites were women, IRCTC would be your mom.
"Mom can I.."
Go to Twitter settings. Scroll down to "Your Twitter Archive". Download ALL your tweets. Even your first. DO IT. DO EEEEEET NOW!
Every girl wants a Raj. Then cries foul when it turns out to be a Thackeray.
Love makes the world go round. Faith can move mountains. Because fuck science.
You and I, we are like cigarettes and cancer, rats and plagues, women and madness. Not necessarily linked, but tainted into togetherness.
When they finally learn to live without you, let them.
If they get your sarcasm, it's a moral victory. If they don't, it's an intellectual victory.
Kashmiri girls are so damn hot man!! No wonder two whole nations are constantly fighting over it.
Don't be an asshole. The government hates competition.
They said I could be anything, so I became a burden on the society.
I check my phone the way new mothers check to see if their baby is breathing.
Cousin: Bhaiya boards are over. Ab to aish rahegi. Ghar wale bhi kuch nahi bolenge!
Me: *wipes a tear from eye* Tu saala chutiya hi reh gaya
Friend-zone < Bro-zone < "Yaar mera BF kal tere sheher aa raha hai. Usko ghuma de please.."-zone.
Owls look so bored all the time. Like in their head they're going, " Yeah, sure, whatever muggle. You don't know half the shit I've seen."
Investment in your children are subject to market risks. Please read the "chaar log kya kahenge?" document carefully.
No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.