If I push you away, pull me back harder.

** Stoners: If you're going down the river in a canoe and you get 4 flat tires, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dogs roof?

You would never get any sleep next to me.

LOL I'm someone's mother.

I like my men how I like my men, like men.

Anyone else's sex drive gone up exponentially since joining Twitter? It's ridiculous.
Checking for my mom.

I have ridiculously deep cleavage.

Related note: found my car keys!!!

Gonna use this toy like I own Duracell.

Try being funny without sounding like a cunt.

Sooo many Twitter crushes; so little time.

I promise when we fuck I won't look at you and you won't even see my weeping lazy eye.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

OK who wants to balls deep in a classy lady?

Twitter's a hell of a drug.

Fizz = female jizz

Why did they put morning so fuckg early in the morning?!

Fuck safe words

Are battery run devices supposed to smell like meltg plastic? Askg for a friend.

Who won the Olympics?

( @ )( @ )

That is all.