Hear that dry, hissing noise?
That's the sound of my job,
sucking the very life out of my soul.

Christian Mingle: Where God is pimp

I suspect that a Tweet Up with you guys would look like the cantina scene in Star Wars. Of course I'd go.

RIP Roger Ebert: Movie critic, fellow atheist and expert in pissing off the right people. You will be missed.

When will Mythbusters ever visit a Church?

In Alabama you can buy a gun without a license but there are fines of up to $10,000 for selling vibrators. Gun shaped vibrators anyone?

Only one Black chick ever bleached their asshole and that was Michael Jackson.

Spellcheck thinks the "internet" is a big deal and always wants to capitalize it.

When you want someone so much that your desire seems strong enough to tear through the reality of your distance from them.

If Christianity is so traditional family oriented then why is god a single parent?

Even your absence leaves a presence.

It's unfair that women don't get spam emails promising them bigger clits and tighter pussies.

Ugh. Twitter servers must have the capacity of my grandmother's bladder.

I always sweep my generalizations with a large broom.

A Heimlich Maneuver won't clear the words stuck in your throat.

Opposites not only attract, they explode on contact.

LADIES: Faking an orgasm only enables the inept.

We should all become more like Hipsters,

just to drive them crazy.

Love is a continuous explosion. Destroying and creating simultaneously.

Only if assault rifles had uteruses would the conservatives seek to regulate them.