My meth dealer likes to throw rocks from a crack house

Xanax is way better than a hug.

My fake extra Dopamine receptors loves your fake extra Dopamine receptors

YOU WOULD THINK THEY WOULD HAVE FUCKING STRAWS FOR YOUR DRINKS HERE AT THIS PARAPLEGIC STRIP BAR......

When a woman stops halfway through a blowjob just because she gets horny and wants to have sex... well, that's just fucking rude!

I consider myself a multi-fuck-er-uper

Sex with the ex can cause strife with the wife.

Reading "Fifty Shades Of Grey". Can't stop jacking off.

Fuck this...if you are going to die on me...I am drinking..not going to debate this ever

I don't hate all stupid people. Just the ones with opinions

AMA Medical News: 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance- The 5 stages of buying gas

I am the dickweed in church who likes to be the last one to say "Amen" 5 seconds after everyone else does........

What if std's were genetic and the only way we could get rid of them was to have alot of sex?

How much money does the country of Yemen have to spend each year because of people graffiti the letter S over the Y?

I think Adele ate the Black Eyed Peas

I am so fucking giddy....15 more shopping days till 4/20

When I play Whack a Mole at Chuck E. Cheese's I feel like I am Thor and shit

I wore my Tap Out shirt on my blind date tonight to let that bitch know I mean business

Anyone who has a real problem with the word "cunt" is probably a cunt. -

Congrats to those of you that went to work out and posted on facebook what your heart rate was and what you plan on eating for lunch today