RT @thenextmartha: At some point you need to look hard in the mirror and repeat the following "Those holiday Pinterest ideas are not...

This concludes this year's election, we now return you to your regularly scheduled apathy.

Are you prepared for the zombie apocalypse? The CDC has a handy guide... http://ow.ly/4YoVB

I feel I ought to say something witty and pithy... but I'm just not feeling it today so I'll just go with sarcastic and rude.

Saw this on a sign in a restroom once... "We aim to please. You aim too, please."

Walked the Vancouver Discovery Walk... 21 kilometers... my feet hurt, back is sore, but I finished and got my damn medal!

I've decided my response to everything today will be "no".... unless it's an offer for sex. I'm grouchy, not supid.

Officially creeped out... Just discovered a tiny spider happily building a web in the coffee cup I've been drinking from.

Went fishing today. Was reminded why I hate to fish.

Personally I won't believe Bin Laden is dead until I see the death certificate.

RT @steam_games: Portal 2 Pre-load Now Available: Pre-load Portal 2 and be ready to play when it releases. http://bit.ly/fF8sud

The 2011 Camero... I love how the designers managed to make it look angry. This is what a muscle car ought to be. http://ow.ly/2VZqt

I'm starting to think that staying up until 1am playing World of Warcraft last night wasn't one of my shinier moments.

Added Twitter app to update Facebook... now I get to irritate twice the number of people with half the effort!

They say good things come to those who wait. Not true, I say. In fact, the only thing coming to those who wait is nothing.

Vancouver Discovery Walk was three days ago and I'm still hurting. First person to ask me to hurry up gets a kick to the crotch.

I'm waiting for the next Apple product launch... how about a vacuum cleaner? They should call it the iSuck..

What I like best about Friday is giving the finger to my job as I leave for the weekend. After that, I hope I still have a job on Monday.

Oh Monday, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways... no, not that way... nor that way either... hmm... let me get back to you.

Five days since my last tweet? I've finally done it... I've slacked off from slacking off. Damn I'm good!