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"I just met an 80s soul singer at the top of London's tallest building."
"No, Lisa Stansfield."
#thatcherfilms Honey, I Shrunk The Kids Chances Of Success Later In Life
I sometimes imagine that Operation Yewtree is a police officer throwing darts at a 1978 Look In annual.
The death of a young person is tragic whether it's in Oslo, Somalia or London. There's no ranking system.
#toiletbands My Cubicle Romance
Surely Trevor Nelson was eliminated in the heats. #closingceremony
#twitterblackout is trending. Surely the most epic of Twitter fails.
#sillynames Mike Oxlong
Vince is like someone gave Billy Idol a progesterone injection and fired him through Clair's Accessories from a cannon. #TheVoice
Spice Girls musical: Stop right now. Thank you very much.
I know a Spanish guy who works backstage at burlesque shows untangling corsets. He's a basque separatist.
Martine McCutcheon's bowels must be like the Log Flume at Alton Towers by now. #Activia
Topless Savile on the front page of the Mirror today. Next week, Rosemary West wearing a basque and stroking a kitten.
Apparently one member of Blue gets really scared watching The Wizard Of Oz. I reckon it's the coward Lee Ryan.
I think Bill Paxton is the only actor to be killed by a Predator, an Alien and a Terminator.
Natalie Sawyer, unlike Liverpool, has no problems up front. #ssn
We shouldn't forget The Sun (Hillsborough lies), The Mirror (fake torture photos) & The Star (fake anti-Muslim stories) are also atrocious.