Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If your first thought was bands instead of geography then you and I will get along fine.
When you see a bunch of women running and screaming hysterically out a back door, Bill Cosby just walked in the front.
Excuse me, miss...are you Grey Poupon?
Cus I'd love to have you on my weener.
God writes a bunch of tweets and tells Moses to Retweet them.
~ the 10 Commandments, in Tweet form.
Swanson's Turkey tv Dinner.
Why delete a tweet just because it has a typo?
Moses didn't destroy those tablets even though he wrote "shalt not" instead of "shall."
~ French butterflies
Ringo Starr and Retweet.
I wish I was with you, instead of wherever the fuck I actually am.
In 1993, singer Jewel buys her first car.
"Yay, I'm a homeowner!"
Yeah, whatever. (But with you)
Buns or no buns, my anaconda wants sum.
*Puerto Rican chic walks by*
Hey girl, are you Latin? Because gluteus maximus XXL.
This is the week I collect all the candy my coworkers bring in and hand them out for Halloween next year.