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None of my tweets have been stolen since I started using The Club.
I see your religion and I raise you common sense.
You sir, are the jivest of turkeys.
I'm going out for a pack of cigarette, kids. See you in 30 years. Say "hi" to your step daddy for me. Oh and Cindy...stay off the pole.
I'd rather have 10 real followers than 10 thousand spam accounts.
If baseball was a girl I'd date her and try to get to 2nd base.
Where do you work at, bro? At some Wonka chocolate factory?
Java great day!
Get it? Like "have a great day" but for coffee people?
Ugh! Why do I even bother writing them if I have to explain 'em.
What I expect and what you provide are two entirely different things.
Eve: Ewww! What was that awful smelling sound that came from your ass?
Adam: I call it a Fart. What's the matter...you don't like it?
In an alternate universe, God takes a McRib out of Adam.
You know, they make coffee for people like you.