Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Every single one of the Ramones is dead, but Keith Richards is still walking around.
THERE'S your fucking plot twist.
A bunch of born-again Christians, but with Mutant powers called...
*failed Stan Lee pitch at Marvel Comics*
Tom Waits for no man.
Has that one been done before?
Fuck it. Send.
Me: God, what's the meaning of life?
God: I'll tell you, but then I'll have to kill you.
Me: Its always a catch with you, isn't it?
A pop up blocker, but for my penis.
Siri, can you tell me how to get...how to get to Sesame Streeeeet 🎶
Who says I can't put marshmallows on my pizza?
Just like twitter, pizza has no rules.
I have artificial mutant powers.
When I see your dog with his head out the car window, I always assume you farted inside.
Your mom just sexted me a pic of what appears to be a roast beef sandwich...?
Yeah your mom's at Arby's again.
Should be company policy making the jerk-off motion during conference calls.
...66, 67, 68, you & me, 70, 71, 72...
"And what was this one supposed to be, Grandma?"
~ your future grandchild pointing at your faded tattoos.
You don't masterbate, idiot.