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Twitter - The more fucked up you lead, the more people will follow. #TwitterSlogans
I am trying to get around to pissing you off, it simply takes time to get to everyone. Please have patience with me in this process.
I gave up hope and feel a lot better now.
I offer my kids protection for sex, tell them to smoke weed not cigarettes, and call if they drink. I have a 17 y/o sober virgin. #Winning
I need some mother fucking ice cream!!!!!
Three horrific facts:
1. Today is not Friday.
2. Tomorrow is not Friday.
3. Even the day after
tomorrow is not Friday.
Dear Ridiculous Bitch, I failed to thank you for cutting me off and slowing down 10 MPH. Thanks for keeping us safe. Sincerely, Fuck Off!
Dear Ridiculous Bitch, I thought a 1am invitation to your house meant you wanted to play, not cry about your asshole boyfriend. Thanks, Men.
Dear ridiculous bitch. Thanks for driving 90 so you could ride on my ass for 5 miles. Please sell your car and walk. Yours truly, fuck you.
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