I joined yoga for flexability but then quit after the teacher told me it won't help me eat my own pussy

I wanna guess what you ate by the taste of your cum

I'll settle for a hair pull but prefer to be choked

I think my fingers are permanently pruned from touching myself

I get to work early to purposely jam the copier and make copies of my pussy so whoever fixes the copier gets a prize!

Love scanning my tits to other random scan folders on the server

Your ears bruised my inner thighs last night

I love showing off my wet spot on my pants

Been a rough couple weeks, need a dick slapped in my face to snap me out of it

Am I the only nerd on here that thinks my dungeon master wants his dragon to fuck my elven ass when people dirty DM?

I'm gonna rub your face in it, cause you've been a bad boy

Its weird waking up without dick breath

Need a mouth fuck to cure this sore throat

My phone is too smart for me. It keeps trying to upload naked pics without my consent.

If I don't answer your call, it's not because I'm busy at work, I just have my phone on vibrate between my leg

I think tweets would be awesome if written as yoda quotes " When you lick my pussy, prepared you must be ... it squirts back."

Skyping makes me want to strattle and ride the computer monitor!

Grab my chun li hair tassles while you fuck my face

Eat a diverse variety of pussy today! It's international women's day!!! ....Ladies, be patient I will be under your desk in a minute!

I could use a good fuck in the ass and slap in the face to help me sleep!