Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I have no idea what women want, but 'a face to straddle' should be somewhere on the list.
It's the thought that counts, but only when they're dirty thoughts.
I'd like to take a permanent break from twitter, but then I'd have all this free time and I'd have to get a life, and ugh, no thanks.
Looks like another romantic Friday night spent on the couch with my selfie taking, tweet posting, time wasting device.
The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, but not giving a fuck is even shorter.
You had me at "This program contains adult sexual content that may be disturbing to viewers."
Eating breakfast in the shower isn't the time saver I thought it'd be.
Love hurts. You know what doesn't hurt? Hating everyone.
I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, but I'm pretty sure this isn't it.
Texting "take care" is the most polite way of telling someone to fuck off forever.
If you've ever wanted a way to almost accidentally kill yourself in a freak accident, dancing to 'Shake it Off' in the shower is your answer
Take your motivational tweets and shove them up your ass.
I promise I'll love you until I hate you. It's like forever, just more realistic.
I'm up for whatever as long as I don't have to leave the house.
Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot.