Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I'm not giving up shit for lent. If anything, I think I'll pick up a few vices and bad habits and really live it up for 40 days.
My new year's resolution of being super antisocial and not getting laid is going great, thanks for asking.
Is "stuck-up cunt face" supposed to be an insult? Because I thought it sounded super cute and totally took it as a compliment.
I have just enough money in my bank account to cover the fine the bank is going to charge me for not having enough money in my bank account.
Well, I ruined my life. Guess I can cross that one off the bucket list.
I'd rather pull up to valet parking riding an ostrich than in a PT Cruiser.
Psycho bitches really ruin it for us normal bitches who are dead inside and don't give a fuck.
Some days I'll just sit around and waste an entire day on twitter for the last few years of my life.
Let's run away, start a new life together and completely fuck that one up too.
The best thing about being a bitch is never having to start a sentence with, "Not to sound like a bitch...."
I know it's rude, but I'd rather just tell someone to fuck off than have a long, pointless conversation with them.
Never knew why pajama tops had pockets on them, but I just filled mine up with cookies to bring back to bed and now it makes complete sense.
Let's have sex now and worry about ruining our friendship later.
Told someone to have a good day then he told me to have a GREAT day and now my day is ruined because why are you trying to one up me, jerk?
So much for not being cunty in 2014.
Let's hurry up and fall in love so we can make each other's lives miserable. I need some new tweet material.
Going for a run is a great reminder that running fucking sucks.
Currently accepting applications for my next big mistake.
Not to brag, but I have no idea what I've done with my life.
I'm no mathementientist, but I should probably go to bed because it's 4AM and I'm making up words again.
Swearing on Twitter is my anti-drug. Come for the cuteness, stay for the rage. I say FUCK! a lot.