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Hope we're never attacked by zombies with a speech impediment because I don't want to die in a zombie apocalisp.
Let me tell you the strange and eye opening truth about crystals - they look VERY cool
Falling asleep to the Kidz Bop cover of Thrift Shop.
5 Flirty Outfits To Wear To A Horse Wedding
Reminder: if you’re a really smart person, you can always become a sad teacher.
*jerks off to your good deeds*
Step 1: Keep handful of rocks in your car
Step 2: Wait for tailgater
Step 3: Roll down window
Step 4: Release your revenge
Trying too hard on facebook today.
I hate when I'm having a threesome & the girl is hotter than me so I have to just wait around until they make me go refresh the snacks.
Why is nobody talking about how strange those new Freddy Krueger Proactiv commercials are?
Tried to brush my teeth with my left hand and threw myself through a wall
"But some of my best friends are n*****s." - Paula Deen
WHO GIVES A FUCK? Can we get back to something meaningful, like LeBron's headband?
All Bros Go To Heaven
My phone autocorrects everything I type into me whining about my phone autocorrecting everything I type
Kanye knows what America wants: songs about french pastries and cumming in our wives' mouths.
Who won The Voice last night? The girl whose name I forget or the girl whose name I also forget?
I love my new phone.
*takes phone to forest*
*lays phone next to waterfall*
I hope whoever I marry is okay with me naming all of our children "Cory&Topanga4Ever"