FYI, I will be without my phone for the night. It's being a bitch and it's sitting in time out. God damn I need a life.

My son really needs to learn how to condense a story. Because I've been listening to him explain his dream for about 17 minutes now.

I am in the mood to tell people what I think today. Be forewarned. You might not like it, but then again, the truth hurts.

I think my phone issues could best be solved with a sledgehammer and a bad attitude. Thankfully, I have both.

Could be a nice neighbor and gather all of the garbage containers that are blowing in the neighborhood, but I'm a heartless bitch so I won't

See my dick Thursday? Start suckin' it.

Just got into bed, clothing removed, lights are out, and I just realized I forgot to lock the front door. *shrugs* I'll take my chances.

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I'm in the mood to slice a bitch.

This whole "phone not working" bullshit is really making me angry. Gonna have to bite the bullet and go to Verizon tonight. Fuckers.

I just found out how dirty a washing machine is. #filthytweet

So close to 100 followers....I offered Mouth Hugs last time, maybe I need to offer something different this time. Like meth.

There's a guy creeping into my personal space. Back off bastard, I'm pissy & sweaty & tired. I will kick your balls & not feel bad about it.

The second song on my Pandora station was from John Mayer. This day is already fucked.

I hate when people dumb themselves down in order to gain attention. Be happy that you're a smart, strong woman. Don't be retarded.

Shitlocks is up to bat. That helmet is gonna stink.

Holy hell. The bird is stuck on the front of my vehicle. Not on the grill, it's just fucking laying there. Pic coming up next.

Very proud of my daughter who made lunch for everyone today. And the fact that it's edible, is icing on the cake.

What the hell is my problem?The last few nights I get a second wind about this time and I'm up late. I should be doing something productive.

Nothing like some good pricks from a thorny bush to start my Monday off right.