I want to make a short movie and title it "a life of a hoodrat",I say short movie because it might turn into a porno after awhile

The bum that smells like weed just asked me for spare change. I wonder how much more he needs to for a dub?

"You get a booty call and I get a cudies" stupid Bart Simpson

Guy with no teeth hits on me while I wait for my coffee. Life has a funny way of making me laugh when I'm not in the mood

Nothing like the smell of pee in the morning to say "happy wednesday"

I found Waldo http://t.co/6kpJf1L1

A 40 in my purse and an Asahi as my backup #thirsty  http://instagram.com/p/XwCcFpAat_/ 

If my car ever gets stolen, they will have healthy snacks to enjoy #ilovesnacks #kellogs #strawberrybar  http://instagr.am/p/Wmr5pUAap_/ 

That silky smooth voice  http://instagr.am/p/WXsnKVgavy/ 

🌈☔  http://instagr.am/p/VaxTPKgavL/ 

Beatles A to Z all weekend on 100.3 @kkeeconn

The mac and cheese from lean cuisine taste like frozen shit with cheese #gross

Ugh I dropped my phone on my face #again #ouch

Why can't life be easier? I just want to sleep for 3 days straight

If its on a Hash tag, it's the truth

I missed out on a free coffee....I feel stupid

You know a book is good when you start to chug a beer and you keep reading

"Shit happens!" What about shit doesn't need to happen #JustSayin

"If it tastes like chicken, Keep on lickin...tastes like trout, get the hell out!" Oh Urban dictionary #lol

I'm getting a smile wrinkle because of all the "fake smiling" I do at work