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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Gift @RAAnonsense Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 202
    • LIKES
    jkramer357stoneman67stoneysugartrixiebellbelljim_highlanderOhFUfoundmeMollySneedvalerie_tosi
    • 88
    • RETWEETS
    stoneman67stoneysugarjim_highlanderOhFUfoundmevalerie_tosiDennisKaymerandyjohn14Stephie_Lark
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    "You know the Xanax is fresh when it's hard to break in half"

    Someone really just said to me.

    As if I didn't already know that. Please.

    • 209
    • LIKES
    stoneman67FuttyNudgekinsCaCarriec1976jim_highlanderAnalAnnieeJayson_Two_timevalerie_tosiPee_And_Giggles
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    stoneman67jim_highlanderAnalAnnieeJayson_Two_timeLackOfShamechompy_jrSophicSirenRedright_88
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    I liked the show 'Two Broke Girls' better when it was called 'Laverne & Shirley'.

    • 202
    • LIKES
    ImBatman1274geofontherunstoneman67Jayson_Two_timeSoCalBIGmikenewforkcity_MollySneedsummers_sonny
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    ImBatman1274stoneman67Jayson_Two_timehappy_creaturessummers_sonnywendybeth___valerie_tosiBiscuitFloater
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Truthful Tuesday: Sometimes I hold in my pee until it hurts, to show myself how tough I can be.

    Sometimes I just hold it because I'm lazy.

    • 167
    • LIKES
    stoneman67Jayson_Two_timeBackrowSeatsPee_And_GigglespsmithatxSonnyYackblaha_Whowhippedjelli
    • 71
    • RETWEETS
    stoneman67Jayson_Two_timePee_And_Gigglespsmithatxblaha_WhoMidlifecrisis18attheUCMasonMiller03
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Anyone who buys Kim Kardashian's selfie book should be put on the terrorist watch list.

    • 134
    • LIKES
    smartey_pantsstoneman67Jayson_Two_timevalerie_tosijim_galtacwsjwtimberbojackMaitland1908
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    Perfectly_Laurastoneman67Jayson_Two_timemiss_suzie0724TwoSapphiresBlubeatendownhubby__whippedjelliKatieKatCubs
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    A guy I follow twittercided last night. He twitted warning signs and even left a 'cide tweet, but none of us listened.

    None of us listened.

    • 143
    • LIKES
    lizlessnerSmuttWhispererstoneman67OhFUfoundmeYour_Boy_DylanSupernovaJaneTajwaliiGreenMonk
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    getItGotIt411SmuttWhispererstoneman67OhFUfoundmeiGreenMonkRedright_88Midlifecrisis18PharmerRPh
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Nobody's impressed that you're sitting on a Pilates ball in your cubicle. Go ahead and put that shit away.

    • 137
    • LIKES
    4ScoreN20Bowlsstoneman67OhFUfoundmepsmithatxoctoberfive2001Your_Boy_DylanLouieDBrain1iGreenMonk
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    4ScoreN20Bowlsstoneman67psmithatxLouieDBrain1iGreenMonkRedright_88KristinGnrblaha_Who
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    I remember when you wanted to hear a song, you had to call the radio station and beg them to play it for you.

    I'm old.

    • 117
    • LIKES
    stoneman67OhFUfoundmeheydogg1978dxbhunkkjackiejeffery2srujanstonerRhurd1Hurdngga_ah
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    stoneman67OhFUfoundmedxbhunkkheartlesslieiGreenMonkanitbhFLboyzmomjim_galt
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    If Ellen Page is a lesbian, how did she wind up all pregnant as a teenager?

    What is the government not telling us?

    • 118
    • LIKES
    stoneman67whippedjelliMidlifecrisis18DanniGDOPharmerRPhMasonMiller03mil_h0usetelevictim22
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    stoneman67PharmerRPhMasonMiller03QuindolinjimspcOtakkuOtaku17duecehistwaddle
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Plan To Fix Obesity in America: Mandate salads on the dollar menu & make the double cheeseburgers $5.79 instead. You're welcome, Mrs. Obama.

    • 102
    • LIKES
    ImBatman1274MsValeriaTaizaudreycourtesantexfuncamgirlstoneman67whippedjelliOrigamiUndies__PharmerRPh
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    MsValeriaTaiztexfuncamgirlstoneman67theninjuh__KentWGrahamImsohoppyTheSharona06GringoBrulee
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    If I have to scroll & scroll & scroll down your timeline to find one original tweet that isn't a RT, what the fuck are you even doing here?

    • 89
    • LIKES
    MarijaWrHEricJHealystoneman67geowizzacistwhippedjelliOrigamiUndies__PharmerRPhGiddythefuckup
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    stoneman67MYSTICALdadclassytwatFrankt78billycreaturetelevictim22ImsohoppyOutOnTheMoors
    Voiceofgarth
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    I'm at my douchiest when I'm at the holistic pet store debating over whether to get my dogs organic banana treats or organic sweet potatoes.

    • 88
    • LIKES
    stoneman67whippedjelliOrigamiUndies__PharmerRPhMasonMiller03mil_h0useShutUpThatsWhohistwaddle
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    stoneman67MasonMiller03scorpicpandaImsohoppyTheSharona06GringoBruleenovicefatherBazarComedy
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Packed with peanuts, Snickers really satisfies. The urge to have an anaphylactic reaction.

    • 83
    • LIKES
    stoneman67whippedjelliOrigamiUndies__PharmerRPhMasonMiller03MakesYouGigglefutietonPapa_Mex__
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    stoneman67PharmerRPhMasonMiller03Papa_Mex__ShutUpThatsWhoImsohoppyGringoBruleeckretmsage
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    My condolences to anyone on Twitter named Karen…

    • 76
    • LIKES
    Thepinkparkastoneman67GoodBadThinggeowizzacistcuddlepirateHouse_Feministeileenmjames1ThaJawn
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
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  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Thanks, Pantene, for emailing me this complimentary coupon for a free hair cut at Wal*Mart.

    I'd rather beavers take their teeth to my hair.

    • 71
    • LIKES
    stoneman67MakesYouGigglepsmithatxwhippedjelliOrigamiUndies__theninjuh__mil_h0userumandrocks
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
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  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Searching for jobs online is like searching for porn. You're going to find very little of what you desire and a lot of it seems super shady.

    • 67
    • LIKES
    BrianFletcher7WOKE_MARCUS_35ThepinkparkaConstantlymitstoneman67BiscuitFloaterMardigroanwhippedjelli
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
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  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Just stop, people who drive with your convertible's top down but leave your windows up.

    • 74
    • LIKES
    stoneman67whippedjelliOrigamiUndies__EbenHaihamboPOOPSCRUFFIN4UmohankarthaAwaisKhalidSattTwinnerCat
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
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  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    If you say, “Happy wife, happy life”, just know I fucking hate you.

    • 60
    • LIKES
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    • 20
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  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    I don't kiss people when I greet them because it seems pretentious & phony.

    If you get a shaky hug, that's about as much as I have to give.

    • 64
    • LIKES
    stoneman67whippedjelliMasonMiller03Tups13mil_h0useShutUpThatsWhohistwaddlesmhbrb
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    stoneman67GringoBruleeBazarComedyMeanGeinpradogodlionssheartStarksWeek__Foxadelic
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Just kill me when I get too old to have sex without lube.

    • 54
    • LIKES
    warrior5fdpnotthat_1riddens_stoneman67whippedjelliMasonMiller03billycreaturedougbies
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
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@RAAnonsense

@RAAnonsense

Caretaker of the four-legged. Beer snob. Hip-hop connoisseur. Non-professional singer, writer, dancer and fast kicker. http://instagram.com/raanonsense

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