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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Gift @RAAnonsense Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 186
    • FAVS
    naughtne1Midlifecrisis18lovestained555lovemohr06AnkCoupleTOOrigamiUndiesPharmerRPhMasonMiller03
    • 69
    • RETWEETS
    Midlifecrisis18lovemohr06AnkCoupleTOPharmerRPhtheatheistteachTbone7219ozzie3122017duece
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Waiting for the day when someone tweets about me and says I'm horribly underfollowed.

    • 178
    • FAVS
    Midlifecrisis18danlextalMomAnkCoupleTOOrigamiUndiesTups13seethenaredougbiesbadassicorn
    • 73
    • RETWEETS
    danlextalMomAnkCoupleTOOrigamiUndiessilwaxxyDwim74TheCareBarePapa_MexShutUpThatsWho
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    I liked the show 'Two Broke Girls' better when it was called 'Laverne & Shirley'.

    • 180
    • FAVS
    pixiebythemoonCaptMerica82Perry_OasisMidlifecrisis18OrigamiUndiesPharmerRPhattheUCMasonMiller03
    • 68
    • RETWEETS
    Perry_OasisMidlifecrisis18PharmerRPhattheUCMasonMiller03lipsaahoydesertgirodamalchik
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Truthful Tuesday: Sometimes I hold in my pee until it hurts, to show myself how tough I can be.

    Sometimes I just hold it because I'm lazy.

    • 158
    • FAVS
    Midlifecrisis18OrigamiUndiesPharmerRPhattheUCMasonMiller03Tups13dougbiesTheCareBare
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    Midlifecrisis18attheUCMasonMiller03Papa_Mexozzie31220theninjuh__CanadianMclovin17duece
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Anyone who buys Kim Kardashian's selfie book should be put on the terrorist watch list.

    • 118
    • FAVS
    MythicPicnicmarkstellardKatieKatCubsMidlifecrisis18OrigamiUndiesPharmerRPhjv_htJjkinky49Jeff
    • 59
    • RETWEETS
    KatieKatCubsMidlifecrisis18jv_htJjkinky49JeffattheUCMasonMiller03silwaxxyacide_cristal
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    A guy I follow twittercided last night. He twitted warning signs and even left a 'cide tweet, but none of us listened.

    None of us listened.

    • 132
    • FAVS
    Midlifecrisis18OrigamiUndiesPharmerRPhattheUCTups13seethenaretequilasaltlifeAppalachian304
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    Midlifecrisis18PharmerRPhattheUCtequilasaltlifeDutchessOfDecaytheninjuh__mexinonblondeBackrowSeats
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Nobody's impressed that you're sitting on a Pilates ball in your cubicle. Go ahead and put that shit away.

    • 125
    • FAVS
    Midlifecrisis18OrigamiUndiesmojosarmyMasonMiller03mil_h0usevivalacrapaxenbaneJumpintotheGrog
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    OrigamiUndiesMasonMiller03JumpintotheGrogCubicalRon17duecescorpicpandacanswimonlandSternoShots
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    If Ellen Page is a lesbian, how did she wind up all pregnant as a teenager?

    What is the government not telling us?

    • 116
    • FAVS
    Midlifecrisis18DanniGDOPharmerRPhMasonMiller03mil_h0usetelevictim22ShutUpThatsWhoQuindolin
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    PharmerRPhMasonMiller03QuindolinjimspcOtakkuOtaku17duecehistwaddleTheSharona06
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    I remember when you wanted to hear a song, you had to call the radio station and beg them to play it for you.

    I'm old.

    • 99
    • FAVS
    Midlifecrisis18OrigamiUndiesPharmerRPhMasonMiller03seethenarelipsaahoyDrivelodeonSarcasilicious
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    _miss_beast_Midlifecrisis18PharmerRPhMasonMiller03lipsaahoySarcasiliciousAvaMaxxredskins4416051
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Plan To Fix Obesity in America: Mandate salads on the dollar menu & make the double cheeseburgers $5.79 instead. You're welcome, Mrs. Obama.

    • 100
    • FAVS
    OrigamiUndiesPharmerRPhMasonMiller03naggalietheninjuh__mil_h0useBombay_MartiniShutUpThatsWho
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    theninjuh__KentWGrahamImsohoppyTheSharona06GringoBruleerodtopiaBazarComedyconcretesledge_
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    I'm at my douchiest when I'm at the holistic pet store debating over whether to get my dogs organic banana treats or organic sweet potatoes.

    • 86
    • FAVS
    OrigamiUndiesPharmerRPhMasonMiller03mil_h0useShutUpThatsWhohistwaddlesmhbrbdelpradogroup
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    MasonMiller03scorpicpandaImsohoppyTheSharona06GringoBruleenovicefatherBazarComedytsm560
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Packed with peanuts, Snickers really satisfies. The urge to have an anaphylactic reaction.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    OrigamiUndiesPharmerRPhMasonMiller03MakesYouGigglefutietonPapa_Mexmil_h0useJumpintotheGrog
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    PharmerRPhMasonMiller03Papa_MexShutUpThatsWhoImsohoppyGringoBruleeckretmsageBazarComedy
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    If I have to scroll & scroll & scroll down your timeline to find one original tweet that isn't a RT, what the fuck are you even doing here?

    • 84
    • FAVS
    OrigamiUndiesPharmerRPhGiddythefuckupMYSTICALdadcrashthesaintclassytwatFrankt78billycreature
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    MYSTICALdadclassytwatFrankt78billycreaturetelevictim22ImsohoppyOutOnTheMoorsGringoBrulee
    Voiceofgarth
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Thanks, Pantene, for emailing me this complimentary coupon for a free hair cut at Wal*Mart.

    I'd rather beavers take their teeth to my hair.

    • 67
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    OrigamiUndiestheninjuh__mil_h0userumandrocksShutUpThatsWhohistwaddlealrulz2009katwoman153
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
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  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Just stop, people who drive with your convertible's top down but leave your windows up.

    • 72
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    OrigamiUndiesEbenHaihamboPOOPSCRUFFIN4UmohankarthaAwaisKhalidSattTwinnerCatchickenNiinjaiGreenMonk
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
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  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    My condolences to anyone on Twitter named Karen…

    • 61
    • FAVS
    OrigamiUndiesattheUCMasonMiller03billycreaturedougbiesmil_h0useShutUpThatsWhoJohn26649305
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    MasonMiller03Nicole39077483amazymay72xleadnotfolowGringoBruleerodtopiackretmsageBazarComedy
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Searching for jobs online is like searching for porn. You're going to find very little of what you desire and a lot of it seems super shady.

    • 59
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    stonnaltPOOPSCRUFFIN4Ulovablelosthalo2100MuthafailinBRaeiGreenMonkMasonMiller03mil_h0use
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
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  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    If you say, “Happy wife, happy life”, just know I fucking hate you.

    • 57
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    Mindless4Milesjrza84OrigamiUndiesBrutalKrampsrutgerafterhourbambarellaelhammer23zigzagzigggular
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    jrza84OrigamiUndiesBrutalKrampsTrenchBabeMcNarstleRickNothingshithoarderChivetteStacy
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    I don't kiss people when I greet them because it seems pretentious & phony.

    If you get a shaky hug, that's about as much as I have to give.

    • 62
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    MasonMiller03Tups13mil_h0useShutUpThatsWhohistwaddlesmhbrb1evilidiotthefunlei
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    GringoBruleeBazarComedydie_4_dethklok_pradogodlionssheartStarksWeek__Foxadelicdrunktweets81
  • RAAnonsense
      Rachel @RAAnonsense

    Just kill me when I get too old to have sex without lube.

    • 49
    • FAVS
    MasonMiller03billycreaturedougbiesmil_h0useJumpintotheGrogShutUpThatsWholeadnotfolowhistwaddle
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    JalumpythefunleiGringoBruleerodtopiaBazarComedyarcherenemyPitty_Da_Foolbuchandarr
@RAAnonsense

@RAAnonsense

I do nothing. Like, literally nothing. http://instagram.com/raanonsense

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