my only goal is to become a professional wrestler

I couldn't feel worse for @heelziggler right now. terrible booking

you don't know me and you don't know my style

some dude on here called me a loud mouth atheist. said I need to think larger than myself...

@markschlereth The Bible was written by wealthy elite when less than 1% of the population was literate. It was written to keep us docile.

sometimes I feel sad but then I remember that Lil B follows me

2 AM is the best time to Enter the Wu Tang

as far as i'm concerned Freebird was written specifically for the final scene in The Devil's Rejects

having fun in VIP. gave Morgan Frasier a "hello you are very attractive" business cards.

DON'T BE FOOLED. Dirks Bentley is NOT 2 men named Dirk and one named Bentley

Nothing brings a massive crowd of white people together quite like Journey's Don't Stop Believing.

only have to wait four months to see @whywithaqmark/ @astronautalis again

winner of this match is the Hardees Super Bacon Cheeseburger Champion. #RAW

The next American revolution will happen in our lifetime and it'll be baller as fuck.

"I hope the NSA at least think my tweets are funny." - @mcsole 2012

@shawnyeds miss u 2

@shawnyeds 0

can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all

@lil_powwow looks like the answer is no. nice work.

@lil_powwow WWF No Mercy and Arrested Development season 4 over here.