Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
OKAY WHO CREATED THE OKCUPID ACCOUNT JUST TO ASK IF THEY COULD FUCK ME IN THE ASS AND THEN IMMEDIATELY DELETED BEFORE I COULD TELL YOU YES
"Slut is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say yes. Friendzone is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say no."
I would make the worst drug dealer, not only bc I just texted someone "OKAY I WILL BRING YOU DRUGS" but also because I'm now tweeting it..
JUST REMEMBER THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT GIVING TO CHARITY IS TELLING EVERYONE THAT YOU'RE GIVING TO CHARITY
You know you're cute when #SomeoneCuteOnTwitter is trending & no one mentions you bc they're too intimidated by your beauty and sandwiches
KANYE SHRUGGED #coolerbooks
FAV THIS TWEET IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO DESCRIBE YOU IN SANDWICH FORM (PS JUST COS YOU'RE A VEGETARIAN DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE MEAT FREE)
why is mental health so much less important to society than physical health?
Q: IS THERE ANYTHING CHUCK NORRIS CAN'T DO??? A: NOT BE A HOMOPHOBIC MORON
Mad props to daniel tosh for opening my eyes to the fucking disaster that is the male comedian community.
IF MENTAL ILLNESS IS SO IMPORTANT THAT IT EXCUSES SO MUCH CRIME, WHY DOES IT COST TWICE AS MUCH TO SEEK MENTAL THERAPY THAN PHYSICAL
nicki minaj is the worst sandwich i've ever eaten
#TweetlikeABoy I hate myself I hate myself I'm so depressed im so sad sad sad sad you are cute im sad can I see yr boobs I'm depressed sad s
the death of children is not acceptable joke material. if your humor has to be THAT shocking to get attention, it means you're not funny.
#WhatHurtsMeTheMost waking up tied to a chair and being sawed to death i guess
People constantly sharing screen caps of convos has gotten me to the point where I'm scared to text my mom. Like what if she starts a tumblr
none of you fucking idiots know a god damned thing about sandwiches, go fuck yourselves