This ugly guy i woke up next to caught my heart last night... Buying me off with cigarrettes.

Haaving a little slumber party with my friends! (Getting drunk in my bed watching jersey shore :( )

Life is so short and my dick is so long :(

Oh i didnt wrote" i love you!" Stupid auto-correct! I meant "hi"!

Thanks to the internet im not outside saving the world because ew.

I love to treat myself with wonderful things because NOBODY LOVES ME ENOUGH TO DO THAT FOR ME

Im so excited for Valentines day cause ill have drinks and eat wonderful food and then die alone!

Just another day at work.  http://yfrog.com/gy2nqwwj 

Hey healthy assholes at the gym staring while i smoke a cig, did you know youre gonna die too?

I think this guy misunderstood my "lets keep in touch". I just wanted him to keep touching my dick not texting me useless shit.

@polly4l and there you are being the hottest bitch STILL.

My favorite nightclub is "just get me drunk im cool wherever i go"

Smoking is like dating, you light them on, you smoke them up to throw them away.

My boyfriend broke up with me :( who of you wants to give me money now? I mean be my boyfriend now?

I'd love to go for a walk in the beach with you but im too busy hating everyone.

This coffee shop is extremely cozy and nice decoratWHEN AM I GOING TO GET LAID

All i got for christmas was a hangover :(

How do i remove a cum stain from a dolce?

Cocktails and cock for tonight!

I'm all about giving but if these homeless people don't start taking credit cards there's nothing i can do.