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And nine—nine Apple Watch Editions were gifted to the race of men, who above all else desire power.
I'm sorry, but I just can't date someone who uses Internet Explorer.
1) Create a new label in Gmail called "Action Inbox." 2) Move all fifty emails from your regular inbox to the Action Inbox. 3) Take a nap!
If you use "pribabably" in an email, I pribabably won't date you.
Have decided to categorize Gmail messages based on my initial reaction. New labels: wtf?, ugh, meh, zomg just die already, hah!, oh snap.
"Itchy itchy itchy itchy eyes. Itchy eyes, itchy eyes." — a song about allergies
OS X Cumberbatch.
Honk if you love a well-used semicolon.
How will Frodo get to Mordor with this new Maps app? :(
I would like to volunteer to tweet on behalf of Indiana. "Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. COW!!!!! Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Corn."
I am absolutely smitten with @liamdrydenetc’s take on this song: http://liamdryden.bandcamp.com/track/i-cant-give-you-anything-but-love-live-recording …
I just sneezed into a box of tissues, and now I'm not really sure what to do.
"I'll be out of the office Tuesday, so remember that Comic Sans is a terrible font." I send the most professional emails ever.
After a quick survey of the church lot, one concludes that those fish symbols actually mean "I park like a fish." And fish can't park.
Pastor addressed me as “Miss Mordor” in today’s staff meeting.
One new business card to rule them all.
I prefer to treat six o'clock in the morning like Big Foot. I'll believe it exists as long as I don't actually have to see for myself.
"Look very closely, and tell me that does not look like Darth Vader's head," said my father, pointing to a blueberry.
I love a well-placed semicolon.
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