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Hot Pockets: Breakfast of champions and the obese. Or in my case, the Champion Obese
I can't wait till I get old and the lamest jokes are suddenly hilarious to me
Actually, I know exactly how I'm going to die: Some gangbanger is going to break in and shoot up the place while I'm making hot dogs
The only things that matter are music, comic book violence, and T. rexes
The moment I go out of my way to help a female without expecting sexual favors in return is the moment I have matured
@snackinkraken Its the moment we've waited years for http://www.spin.com/articles/soundgarden-dave-grohl-behind-the-scenes-by-crooked-steps-video-deadmau5 …
Set Adobe Flash to automatically update. You're on the honor system, Adobe Flash!
It goes :/, :D, :p, :), 8==D-3 (), ;)
Running the Gauntlet is the time between the shower and dry clothes.
I now have just as many Tour de France wins as Lance Armstrong
My belly button is like a Sarlac pit where lint goes to die
I got cockblocked by my own phone last night. Next stop for this piece of shit phone is the bottom of the ocean.
Did I seriously just criticize bad camera directing while watching this porn?
It goes Monday Madness, Vasectomy Tuesday, Werewolf Wednesday, THORsday, Follow Friday, Fraturday, and then Sunday Funday. Get it right!