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  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    A couple approaches on the beach. He calls her "Allison." I write, "Marry me, Allison," in the sand and hide. And now we wait.

    • 2,381
    • FAVS
    SoapCraze997omarVoiceofgarthsimonchollandsheena_skylerselbyKateWhineHallTheAlexNevil
    • 1,525
    • RETWEETS
    997omarhangin_outTheAlexNeviltheevilwriterrickolanterntanner_waadeMr_Kapowski__Deurb1
    cynicuhlMrTurstMikeCanRantWeissBrandon______awesomeseankMichael_Maybe23_LiesLoyalTrophiesPoliticallyILL1BruppFWTXMcJizzernutzcixelsidgod______
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    He wants a lady in the TL and a freak in the DMs.

    • 1,585
    • FAVS
    SassyChantellelovejulieaynJessiCanadianKirstensDeskbobsaysdrinkjcgreenMr_Kapowski__skipdedoo
    • 700
    • RETWEETS
    DONTJIMMYMEJULZMr_Kapowski__JohnBechardDeurb1JestersDead74venkaiceprincesVenusRockHobbitDouchekevin
    treydayway__UrbanDouchebagBruppFWTXfromthechi________PoliticallyILL1BlueRobotDesign
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    You know that scene in 8 Mile where Eminem disses himself so the other guy has nothing to rap about? That's basically my only plan in life.

    • 1,268
    • FAVS
    VoiceofgarthsimonchollandMr_Kapowski__PORNOPINIONScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieToxicProbablyKate_Drenning
    • 599
    • RETWEETS
    Kate_DrenningAlvinmunkiDerylAduda_samini_LordKelvin273GodLovesUgly22NahHomievenkaiceprinces
    VikeeysSecretCuddleYourCatBudders88iam_timJuan_GolbezzeshruglordA_SmartAssMissItAintMe______XoMiSsYoX
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    My phone just auto-corrected "cunt" to "Cynthia" twice. So we've been warned: Cynthias are probably cunts.

    • 1,322
    • FAVS
    Mr_Kapowski__Deurb1Amazon_BlondeScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieheadway10AdyacesJestersDead74
    • 356
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreJestersDead74Deurb1scottthetwat______Colt_SeethersawordforawordKittenMcKayTheJayGrounds
    chrisanna4realGuiltlessNickcerdo____________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    True love is dropping half of a sandwich on the floor without anyone seeing, and giving your significant other the clean half.

    • 1,276
    • FAVS
    997omarWildeThingysimonchollandMr_Kapowski__Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieheadway10JestersDead74
    • 382
    • RETWEETS
    997omarScott_A_GilmoreDouchekevinLadyMillieRockYesImMattSpuhddynsturdenDeurb1
    A_SmartAssLicoriceNipples______SoapyJohnsonTinkerbell_fastmofobansheeTimUhl
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I don't know why they call them comforters. This blanket doesn't care about my problems AT ALL.

    • 1,110
    • FAVS
    Mr_Kapowski__Scott_A_GilmoreKengriffith45CleverestBoyshesxridiculousJestersDead74pan_opt_iconAndTheEyesWin
    • 498
    • RETWEETS
    th3RachMr_Kapowski__Deurb1Scott_A_GilmoreJestersDead74pan_opt_iconTySmithdrumsnikster007
    cynicuhlmaybestef________see_more13NoorShammaBruppFWTXPanettaSexyTimeGobshite_
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    So glad I'm not bi. It would suck to be rejected by twice as many people.

    • 1,239
    • FAVS
    Black__ElvisIAmKashWahiluvtekilaSeanEmeny997omarmona416Mr_Kapowski__LazloGusto
    • 365
    • RETWEETS
    iluvtekila997omarMr_Kapowski__archerenemyLazloGustoboobsareimpliedScott_A_Gilmoreducksthoughts
    DurtMcHurttSpideroger
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    An ugly heart or a closed mind will ruin even the hottest face and body.

    • 988
    • FAVS
    Mr_Kapowski__evem3281Deurb1RadOrDieBarrboniheadway10Adyacesqueeenvk
    • 411
    • RETWEETS
    evem3281Deurb1headway10scottthetwat______s_cLaN07CountMackulaTMcgutsFlashyNope
    inconsequentia2datahound2u
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Steps for getting over a break-up:
    1. Meet with your lover "for old times' sake."
    2. Tie them up for kinky sex play.
    3. Leave them to die.

    • 953
    • FAVS
    Mr_Kapowski__Scott_A_GilmoreCaptHalJordanRadOrDieheadway10AdyacesJestersDead74YesImMatt
    • 399
    • RETWEETS
    RickyScampMr_Kapowski__Scott_A_GilmoreJenny4ashleyYesImMattscottthetwat______Raoul_Duke_71awordforaword
    HeyZeus666N60220638cynicuhlRandomlyMJ
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    "Yeah. I wanna rub my clot while you duck me. I live that, baby." -Autocorrect sext

    • 838
    • FAVS
    lovelyjessijMr_Kapowski__Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieAdyacesBeaconHill09scottthetwat______s_cLaN07
    • 307
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_Kapowski__Scott_A_Gilmorescottthetwat______jeromejuwanDoyle_McLainVikeeysSecretJFKwasAFKmerican_ninjy
    TheD_BagJarVoiceofgarthTheChrimsonKing
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    People probably think I'm trying to clean my phone's screen if they catch me licking it in public, but really, I just like some of your avis

    • 904
    • FAVS
    Mr_Kapowski__Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieJestersDead74_RyanKillians_cLaN07CountMackulaTitansHomer
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreI_SEE_THRU_YOUtbhmaddicharliedelta7fuckyeahjimothyFuckinmoronsCajunKoopaTheAseka
    RyenInTheMoinesDukeOfOyl________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Not telling me something because you "didn't want to piss me off" is probably the best way to piss me off.

    • 763
    • FAVS
    Mr_Kapowski__Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieAdyacesshesxridiculousJestersDead74mystiqueK2________VirgoSherry
    • 280
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_Kapowski__JestersDead74jumpdasharkscottthetwat______SpanishFlightTattooJanieCrankyBitch1TitansHomer
    cixelsidgod______SepIsDead__
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Don't worry; no matter how low you feel, your last shred of dignity always remains. Unless you've fucked someone who wears Crocs.

    • 802
    • FAVS
    mafrazier15Mr_Kapowski__Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDies_cLaN07CountMackulaRaoul_Duke_71TitansHomer
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRaoul_Duke_71I_SEE_THRU_YOUDesignerCuntPaperFishiesCAPNMILLER73UrbanplaytimeSteve_hamiltin
    MrNoLaughsDanTheSnick__meat_tornado_djr_102
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    When a guy stops DMing me because he found someone prettier, I just tell myself that he was a serial killer, and that I escaped death.

    • 779
    • FAVS
    ms_obliviousmadhatter0713__mafrazier15Mr_Kapowski__Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDiebuck4ittmommaschulew
    • 183
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_Kapowski__jumpdashark99bananas_duhscottthetwat______Raoul_Duke_71mixednutz35______MasterOfFuryChelmsquirrel
    obi7k3nobi________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    The cool thing about camping is that you don't need to do it if you have a perfectly good house to live in.

    • 712
    • FAVS
    Th3ReaLBaLakaymafrazier15Mr_Kapowski___Vod_Ka_NockersScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieAdyacesbuck4itt
    • 203
    • RETWEETS
    mafrazier15Scott_A_Gilmorejumpdasharkadropovpan_opt_iconscottthetwat______Specialist89FlashyNope
    HeyZeusTx________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I'm really shitty at deciphering inflection in tweets, so if I starred your suicide note, I probably thought you were being sarcastic. Oops.

    • 739
    • FAVS
    Mr_Kapowski__Scott_A_Gilmorescottthetwat______s_cLaN07AnyaLachae7CountMackulaTitansHomerScigglez__________
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_Kapowski__Scott_A_Gilmorescottthetwat______CountMackulaFuckinmoronsNurseRatchet719loribuckmajorThe_KJM
    peckishlyPretzelNY
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    What if the dick's so good you actually enjoy sucking it? Can you still even call it a blow job? Maybe blow hobby? Blow privilege? Blow joy?

    • 566
    • FAVS
    ilayewA_gligsa_man_named_JEDmrSandmanSoCalDadAfterDarkElPasofistRealmitzInkedUpKidder
    • 223
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkmrSandmanSoCalDadAfterDarkInkedUpKidderMobyTitsSeanTheNovskikwirkyKerriMr_Kapowski__
    Torriable
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I'm the Lindsay Lohan of repeatedly fucking up in life and not having anyone interested in seeing me naked.

    • 627
    • FAVS
    stfuguntermanMr_Kapowski__B1gBrainsMcGeeScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDiescottthetwat______s_cLaN07DONTJIMMYMEJULZ
    • 116
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkScott_A_GilmoreI_SEE_THRU_YOUSpartan_Killer___MeAnaisBkevnastoZepsBlackDog42The_Dorkster______
    johngaysee
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    If you're proud of your life and the way you're living it, don't ever let anyone else make you feel ashamed about it. It's YOUR life.

    • 555
    • FAVS
    Mr_Kapowski__Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDies_cLaN07TitansHomerawescarVikeeysSecretDickFurari
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    FuckinmoronskiebiMBittersweet25Whateverfitsme____SmartticismsblackjadebeautySimplyEffortfulAngel_IsAwesome__
    SupportPets_DashGoff__________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Just think, if girls making the duck face in pictures would just purse their lips a little bit tighter, we could call it "the asshole face."

    • 524
    • FAVS
    MobyTitsMr_Kapowski__Scott_A_GilmoreAdyacess_cLaN07nickeee_tweetsperhapssomedayawordforaword
    • 137
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_Kapowski__perhapssomedayawordforawordT_bagUngererFuckinmoronsducksbacktookv8kiebi
    ExcuseMeMandi
@RealPrincessKim

@RealPrincessKim

Legally and officially Princess Kim. My family and friends are my life.