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  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    A couple approaches on the beach. He calls her "Allison." I write, "Marry me, Allison," in the sand and hide. And now we wait.

    • 2,361
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieStephenBCramerheadway10SolelyBKengriffith45ToxicProbablyAdyaces
    • 1,517
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmorespiritpigeonKate_DrenningkatiemwillcanadasandrallpotAllie705magic_milly
    cynicuhlMrTurstMikecanrantWeissBrandon______awesomeseankMichael_Maybe23_LiesLoyalTrophiesPoliticallyILL1BruppFWTXMcJizzernutzcixelsidgod______
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    He wants a lady in the TL and a freak in the DMs.

    • 1,575
    • FAVS
    RadOrDieheadway10ToxicProbablyJestersDead74HanaMichelswhatchamafuckitthe_sufferinmeowrinaa
    • 696
    • RETWEETS
    JestersDead74venkaiceprincesVenusRockHobbitDouchekevinSACutie2014TattooJanieTitansHomerMotivatedMocha
    treydaywayUrbanDouchebagBruppFWTXfromthechi________PoliticallyILL1BlueRobotDesign
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    You know that scene in 8 Mile where Eminem disses himself so the other guy has nothing to rap about? That's basically my only plan in life.

    • 1,264
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieToxicProbablyKate_Drenningwhatchamafuckitthe_sufferinGodLovesUgly22iNyagah_
    • 599
    • RETWEETS
    Kate_DrenningAlvinmunkiDerylAduda_samini_LordKelvin273GodLovesUgly22NahHomievenkaiceprinces
    VikeeysSecretCuddleYourCatBudders88iam_timJuan_GolbezzeshruglordA_SmartAssMissItAintMe______XoMiSsYoX
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    My phone just auto-corrected "cunt" to "Cynthia" twice. So we've been warned: Cynthias are probably cunts.

    • 1,320
    • FAVS
    Amazon_BlondeScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieheadway10AdyacesJestersDead74s_cLaN07scottthetwat______
    • 356
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreJestersDead74Deurb1scottthetwat______Colt_SeethersawordforawordKittenMcKayTheJayGrounds
    chrisanna4realGuiltlessNickcerdo____________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    True love is dropping half of a sandwich on the floor without anyone seeing, and giving your significant other the clean half.

    • 1,272
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieheadway10JestersDead74the_sufferinDanKatLilBitchYankeegiant72luvmyADHD
    • 381
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreDouchekevinLadyMillieRockYesImMattSpuhddynsturdenDeurb1scottthetwat______
    A_SmartAssLicoriceNipples______SoapyJohnsonTinkerbell_fastmofobansheeTimUhl
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I don't know why they call them comforters. This blanket doesn't care about my problems AT ALL.

    • 1,109
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreKengriffith45CleverestBoyshesxridiculousJestersDead74pan_opt_iconImMistaken2castabignet
    • 495
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreJestersDead74pan_opt_iconTySmithdrumsnikster007KKuncutvenkaiceprincesbleustreak
    cynicuhlmaybestef________see_more13NoorShammaBruppFWTXPanettaSexyTimeworley_7
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    So glad I'm not bi. It would suck to be rejected by twice as many people.

    • 1,229
    • FAVS
    nutty20012000DadAfterDarkCardioanestreviousScott_A_GilmoreGSHOK9HeyTazzBabyFaceForman
    • 359
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_Gilmoreducksthoughtscapt_awesome42RadOrDiesweet69spicyWhervrIMayRoammilbourn_markBrowneyed_mama
    DurtMcHurttSpideroger
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    An ugly heart or a closed mind will ruin even the hottest face and body.

    • 985
    • FAVS
    RadOrDieBarrboniheadway10Adyacesqueeenvkadropovscottthetwat______bikiniflowers
    • 409
    • RETWEETS
    headway10scottthetwat______s_cLaN07CountMackulaTMcgutsFlashyQuietcynicanoldicusTlaxBoy05
    inconsequentia2datahound2u
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Steps for getting over a break-up:
    1. Meet with your lover "for old times' sake."
    2. Tie them up for kinky sex play.
    3. Leave them to die.

    • 952
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreCaptHalJordanRadOrDieheadway10AdyacesJestersDead74YesImMattscottthetwat______
    • 397
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreJenny4ashleyYesImMattscottthetwat______Raoul_Duke_71awordforawordSpoiled_Red_32FlashyQuiet
    HeyZeus666phantomchordscynicuhlRandomlyMJ
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    "Yeah. I wanna rub my clot while you duck me. I live that, baby." -Autocorrect sext

    • 836
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieAdyacesBeaconHill09scottthetwat______s_cLaN07hirojesusDONTJIMMYMEJULZ
    • 306
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_Gilmorescottthetwat______jeromejuwanDoyle_McLainVikeeysSecretJFKwasAFKmerican_ninjyI_SEE_THRU_YOU
    TheD_BagJarVoiceofgarthTheChrimsonKing
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    People probably think I'm trying to clean my phone's screen if they catch me licking it in public, but really, I just like some of your avis

    • 903
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieJestersDead74_RyanKillians_cLaN07CountMackulaTitansHomerFlashyQuiet
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreI_SEE_THRU_YOUtbhmaddicharliedelta7aka_IDIOT_FuckinmoronsCajunKoopaTheAseka
    RyenInTheMoinesDukeOfOyl________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Not telling me something because you "didn't want to piss me off" is probably the best way to piss me off.

    • 762
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieAdyacesshesxridiculousJestersDead74mystiqueK2________VirgoSherrykelliefree2Bme
    • 279
    • RETWEETS
    JestersDead74jumpdasharkscottthetwat______SpanishFlightTattooJanieCrankyBitch1TitansHomerhangin_out
    cixelsidgod______GhostOfTheCanal__
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Don't worry; no matter how low you feel, your last shred of dignity always remains. Unless you've fucked someone who wears Crocs.

    • 800
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDies_cLaN07CountMackulaRaoul_Duke_71TitansHomerFlashyQuietVikeeysSecret
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRaoul_Duke_71I_SEE_THRU_YOUDesignerCuntPaperFishiesCAPNMILLER73UrbanplaytimeSteve_hamiltin
    MrNoLaughsDanTheSnickmeat_tornado_djr_102
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    When a guy stops DMing me because he found someone prettier, I just tell myself that he was a serial killer, and that I escaped death.

    • 775
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDiebuck4ittmommaschulewPerceptiongirlscottthetwat______s_cLaN07HeidiGolightly
    • 182
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdashark99bananas_duhscottthetwat______Raoul_Duke_71mixednutz35______MasterOfFuryChelmsquirrelFuckinmorons
    obi7k3nobi________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    The cool thing about camping is that you don't need to do it if you have a perfectly good house to live in.

    • 709
    • FAVS
    _Vod_Ka_NockersScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieAdyacesbuck4ittBDGarpWildeThingyadropov
    • 202
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_Gilmorejumpdasharkadropovpan_opt_iconscottthetwat______Specialist89FlashyQuietA_SmartAss
    HeyZeusTx________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I'm really shitty at deciphering inflection in tweets, so if I starred your suicide note, I probably thought you were being sarcastic. Oops.

    • 738
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_Gilmorescottthetwat______s_cLaN07AnyaLachae7CountMackulaTitansHomerScigglez__________cynicanoldicus
    • 137
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_Gilmorescottthetwat______CountMackulaFuckinmoronsNurseRatchet719loribuckmajorThe_KJMTeflonPawn
    peckishlyPretzelNY
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    What if the dick's so good you actually enjoy sucking it? Can you still even call it a blow job? Maybe blow hobby? Blow privilege? Blow joy?

    • 554
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDieTMWrenchSarcasmo718LuckyToken1scottthetwat______s_cLaN07Jusatanoldguy
    • 215
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreLuckyToken1scottthetwat______NotaFunnyLadyCountMackulaawordforawordimperfect111ReeseButCallMeV
    Torriable
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I'm the Lindsay Lohan of repeatedly fucking up in life and not having anyone interested in seeing me naked.

    • 625
    • FAVS
    B1gBrainsMcGeeScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDiescottthetwat______s_cLaN07DONTJIMMYMEJULZTitansHomerReeseButCallMeV
    • 115
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreI_SEE_THRU_YOUSpartan_Killer___MeAnaisBkevnastoZepsBlackDog42The_Dorkster______swollenvoice
    johngaysee
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    If you're proud of your life and the way you're living it, don't ever let anyone else make you feel ashamed about it. It's YOUR life.

    • 554
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRadOrDies_cLaN07TitansHomerawescarVikeeysSecretDickFurariserialmatrix
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    FuckinmoronskiebiMBittersweet25Whateverfitsme____SmartticismsblackjadebeautySimplyEffortfulAngel_IsAwesome__
    SupportPets_DashGoff__________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Just think, if girls making the duck face in pictures would just purse their lips a little bit tighter, we could call it "the asshole face."

    • 522
    • FAVS
    Scott_A_GilmoreAdyacess_cLaN07nickeee_tweetsperhapssomedayawordforawordFlashyQuietTitansHomer
    • 136
    • RETWEETS
    perhapssomedayawordforawordT_bagUngererFuckinmoronsducksbacktookv8kiebiMBittersweet25
    ExcuseMeMandi
@RealPrincessKim

@RealPrincessKim

Legally and officially Princess Kim. My family and friends are my life.