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  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    A couple approaches on the beach. He calls her "Allison." I write, "Marry me, Allison," in the sand and hide. And now we wait.

    • 2,397
    • FAVS
    Maxine12333BeeeiitcchhvexroidiinkedZombieLorieGZB_ULYSSES_JAMESDonQuickoatsNotPeterStark
    • 1,535
    • RETWEETS
    BeeeiitcchhvexroidB_ULYSSES_JAMESDonQuickoatsMuthafailinBRaeUnderchildehirojesusurekasgold
    cynicuhlMrTurstMikeCanRantWeissBrandon______awesomeseankMichael_Maybe23_LiesLoyalTrophiesPoliticallyILL1BruppFWTXadamtrossgolfcixelsidgod______
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    He wants a lady in the TL and a freak in the DMs.

    • 1,590
    • FAVS
    BeeeiitcchhiinkedZombieB_ULYSSES_JAMESDonQuickoatsNotPeterStarkSassyChantellelovejulieaynJessiCanadian
    • 705
    • RETWEETS
    UhhdorkableBeeeiitcchhB_ULYSSES_JAMESPAAARINhirojesusDONTJIMMYMEJULZMr_KapowskiJohnBechard
    treydayway__UrbanDouchebagBruppFWTXfromthechi________PoliticallyILL1BlueRobotDesign
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    You know that scene in 8 Mile where Eminem disses himself so the other guy has nothing to rap about? That's basically my only plan in life.

    • 1,275
    • FAVS
    BeeeiitcchhvexroidiinkedZombieLorieGZB_ULYSSES_JAMESDonQuickoatsNotPeterStarkVoiceofgarth
    • 602
    • RETWEETS
    BeeeiitcchhvexroidhirojesusKate_DrenningAlvinmunkiDerylAduda_samini_LordKelvin273
    VikeeysSecretCuddleYourCatBudders88iam_timJuan_GolbezzeshruglordA_SmartAssMissItAintMe______XoMiSsYoX
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    My phone just auto-corrected "cunt" to "Cynthia" twice. So we've been warned: Cynthias are probably cunts.

    • 1,326
    • FAVS
    BeeeiitcchhAussieMuzB_ULYSSES_JAMESNotPeterStarkMr_KapowskiDeurb1Amazon_Blonde__Scott_A_Gilmore
    • 359
    • RETWEETS
    AussieMuzB_ULYSSES_JAMEShirojesusScott_A_GilmoreJestersDead74Deurb1scottthetwat______Colt_Seethers
    chrisanna4realGuiltlessNickcerdo____________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    True love is dropping half of a sandwich on the floor without anyone seeing, and giving your significant other the clean half.

    • 1,280
    • FAVS
    BeeeiitcchhvexroidLorieGZNotPeterStark997omarWildeThingysimonchollandMr_Kapowski
    • 384
    • RETWEETS
    vexroidhirojesus997omarScott_A_GilmoreDouchekevinLadyMillieRockYesImMattSpuhddy
    A_SmartAssLicoriceNipples______SoapyJohnsonTinkerbell_fastmofobansheeTimUhl
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I don't know why they call them comforters. This blanket doesn't care about my problems AT ALL.

    • 1,117
    • FAVS
    BeeeiitcchhLorieGZNotPeterStarkAnitaHelmetAPANCHALYPSENOWbadpatrick1TooManySynapsesMr_Kapowski
    • 501
    • RETWEETS
    APANCHALYPSENOWbadpatrick1hirojesusth3RachMr_KapowskiDeurb1Scott_A_GilmoreJestersDead74
    cynicuhlmaybestef________see_more13NoorShammaBruppFWTXPanettaSexyTimeGobshite_
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    So glad I'm not bi. It would suck to be rejected by twice as many people.

    • 1,240
    • FAVS
    NotPeterStarkBlack__ElvisIEatChawaliluvtekilaSeanEmeny997omarmona416Mr_Kapowski
    • 366
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesusiluvtekila997omarMr_KapowskiarcherenemyLazloGustoboobsareimpliedScott_A_Gilmore
    DurtMcHurttSpideroger
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    An ugly heart or a closed mind will ruin even the hottest face and body.

    • 991
    • FAVS
    Juney1981LorieGZNotPeterStarkMr_KapowskisoulindivisionDeurb1RadOrDie__Barrboni
    • 413
    • RETWEETS
    DontTouchMyWinehirojesussoulindivisionDeurb1headway10scottthetwat______s_cLaN07CountMackula
    inconsequentia2datahound2u
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Steps for getting over a break-up:
    1. Meet with your lover "for old times' sake."
    2. Tie them up for kinky sex play.
    3. Leave them to die.

    • 957
    • FAVS
    LorieGZNotPeterStarkTySmithdrumsDeurb1Mr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreCaptHalJordanRadOrDie__
    • 401
    • RETWEETS
    hirojesusDeurb1RickyScampMr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreJenny4ashleyYesImMattscottthetwat______
    HeyZeus666N60220638cynicuhlRandomlyMJ
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    "Yeah. I wanna rub my clot while you duck me. I live that, baby." -Autocorrect sext

    • 843
    • FAVS
    WhoTheHeckIsMegNotPeterStarkShutUpThatsWhocoolandbreezeyDeurb1lovelyjessijMr_KapowskiScott_A_Gilmore
    • 311
    • RETWEETS
    FlashyTaserhirojesuscoolandbreezeyDeurb1Mr_KapowskiScott_A_Gilmorescottthetwat______jeromejuwan
    TheD_BagJarVoiceofgarthTheChrimsonKing
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    People probably think I'm trying to clean my phone's screen if they catch me licking it in public, but really, I just like some of your avis

    • 905
    • FAVS
    NotPeterStarkMr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDie__JestersDead74_RyanKillians_cLaN07CountMackula
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreI_SEE_THRU_YOU__tbhmaddicharliedelta7fuckyeahjimothyFuckinmoronsCajunKoopaTheAseka
    RyenInTheMoinesDukeOfOyl________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Not telling me something because you "didn't want to piss me off" is probably the best way to piss me off.

    • 766
    • FAVS
    LorieGZNotPeterStarkJimboleemMr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDie__Adyacesshesxridiculous
    • 280
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_KapowskiJestersDead74jumpdasharkscottthetwat______SpanishFlightTattooJanieCrankyBitch1TitansHomer
    cixelsidgod______SepIsDead__
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Don't worry; no matter how low you feel, your last shred of dignity always remains. Unless you've fucked someone who wears Crocs.

    • 804
    • FAVS
    NotPeterStarkJimboleemmafrazier15Mr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDie__s_cLaN07CountMackula
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreRaoul_Duke_71I_SEE_THRU_YOU__DesignerCuntPaperFishiesCAPNMILLER73UrbanplaytimeSteve_hamiltin
    MrNoLaughsDanTheSnick__meat_tornado_djr_102
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    When a guy stops DMing me because he found someone prettier, I just tell myself that he was a serial killer, and that I escaped death.

    • 782
    • FAVS
    LorieGZNotPeterStarkJimboleemms_obliviousmadhatter0713__mafrazier15Mr_KapowskiScott_A_Gilmore
    • 183
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_Kapowskijumpdashark99bananas_duhscottthetwat______Raoul_Duke_71mixednutz35______MasterOfFuryChelmsquirrel
    obi7k3nobi________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    The cool thing about camping is that you don't need to do it if you have a perfectly good house to live in.

    • 716
    • FAVS
    AussieMuzLorieGZNotPeterStarkJimboleemTh3ReaLBaLakaymafrazier15Mr_Kapowski_Vod_Ka_Nockers
    • 204
    • RETWEETS
    AussieMuzmafrazier15Scott_A_Gilmorejumpdasharkadropovpan_opt_icon__scottthetwat______Specialist89
    HeyZeusTx________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I'm really shitty at deciphering inflection in tweets, so if I starred your suicide note, I probably thought you were being sarcastic. Oops.

    • 744
    • FAVS
    marrusya6vexroidLorieGZNotPeterStarkJimboleemMr_KapowskiScott_A_Gilmorescottthetwat______
    • 139
    • RETWEETS
    vexroidMr_KapowskiScott_A_Gilmorescottthetwat______CountMackulaFuckinmoronsNurseRatchet719loribuckmajor
    peckishlyPretzelNY
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    What if the dick's so good you actually enjoy sucking it? Can you still even call it a blow job? Maybe blow hobby? Blow privilege? Blow joy?

    • 568
    • FAVS
    NotPeterStarkJimboleemilayewA_gligsKilgore_StudgemrSandmanSoCalDadAfterDarkElPasofist__
    • 223
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkmrSandmanSoCalDadAfterDarkInkedUpKidderMobyTitsBatardNoirkwirkyKerriMr_Kapowski
    Torriable
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I'm the Lindsay Lohan of repeatedly fucking up in life and not having anyone interested in seeing me naked.

    • 630
    • FAVS
    LorieGZNotPeterStarkJimboleemstfuguntermanMr_KapowskiB1gBrainsMcGeeScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDie__
    • 116
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkScott_A_GilmoreI_SEE_THRU_YOU__Spartan_Killer___MeAnaisBkevnastoZepsBlackDog42The_Dorkster______
    johngaysee
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    If you're proud of your life and the way you're living it, don't ever let anyone else make you feel ashamed about it. It's YOUR life.

    • 558
    • FAVS
    LorieGZNotPeterStarkJimboleemMr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDie__s_cLaN07TitansHomer
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    FuckinmoronskiebiMBittersweet25Whateverfitsme____SmartticismsblackjadebeautySimplyEffortfulAngel_IsAwesome__
    SupportPets_DashGoff__________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Just think, if girls making the duck face in pictures would just purse their lips a little bit tighter, we could call it "the asshole face."

    • 526
    • FAVS
    NotPeterStarkJimboleemMobyTitsMr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreAdyacess_cLaN07nickeee_tweets
    • 137
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_KapowskiperhapssomedayawordforawordTeahUngererFuckinmoronsducksbacktookv8kiebi
    ExcuseMeMandi
@RealPrincessKim

@RealPrincessKim

Legally and officially Princess Kim. My family and friends are my life.

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