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  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    A couple approaches on the beach. He calls her "Allison." I write, "Marry me, Allison," in the sand and hide. And now we wait.

    • 2,355
    • FAVS
    ToxicProbablyAdyacesaaronuptweetJill22HanaMichelsrenglish4DumbFaceYouKate_Drenning
    • 1,516
    • RETWEETS
    C7abeKate_DrenningkatiemwillcanadasandralaetitiapotAllie705magic_millyNeelaVodka
    cynicuhlMrTurstMikecanrantWeissBrandon______awesomeseankMichael_Maybe23_LiesLoyalTrophiesPoliticallyILL1BruppFWTXMcJizzernutzcixelsidgod______
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    He wants a lady in the TL and a freak in the DMs.

    • 1,573
    • FAVS
    ToxicProbablyJestersDead74HanaMichelswhatchamafuckitthe_sufferinmeowrinaaiNyagah_venkaiceprinces
    • 696
    • RETWEETS
    JestersDead74venkaiceprincesVenusRockHobbitDouchekevinSACutie2014TattooJanieTitansHomerMotivatedMocha
    treydaywayUrbanDouchebagBruppFWTXfromthechi________PoliticallyILL1BlueRobotDesign
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    You know that scene in 8 Mile where Eminem disses himself so the other guy has nothing to rap about? That's basically my only plan in life.

    • 1,262
    • FAVS
    ToxicProbablyKate_Drenningwhatchamafuckitthe_sufferinGodLovesUgly22iNyagah_iPopViagraDailyvenkaiceprinces
    • 599
    • RETWEETS
    Kate_DrenningAlvinmunkiDerylAduda_samini__KayQ_GodLovesUgly22NahHomievenkaiceprinces
    VikeeysSecretRatBatallionBudders88iam_timJuan_GolbezzeshruglordA_SmartAssMissItAintMe______XoMiSsYoX
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    My phone just auto-corrected "cunt" to "Cynthia" twice. So we've been warned: Cynthias are probably cunts.

    • 1,316
    • FAVS
    AdyacesJestersDead74s_cLaN07scottthetwathirojesusCoopFoggashlar36Katie_Lady_Hays
    • 355
    • RETWEETS
    JestersDead74Deurb1scottthetwatColt_SeethersawordforawordKittenMcKayTheJayGroundsDirtMcTurd
    chrisanna4realGuiltlessNickcerdo____________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    True love is dropping half of a sandwich on the floor without anyone seeing, and giving your significant other the clean half.

    • 1,269
    • FAVS
    JestersDead74the_sufferiniPopViagraDailyYankeegiant72luvmyADHDDouchekevinEew_itsJessLadyMillieRock
    • 380
    • RETWEETS
    DouchekevinLadyMillieRockYesImMattJohnnySpuhnsturdenDeurb1scottthetwatawordforaword
    A_SmartAssLicoriceNipples______SoapyJohnsonTinkerbell_fastmofobansheeTimUhl
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I don't know why they call them comforters. This blanket doesn't care about my problems AT ALL.

    • 1,107
    • FAVS
    CleverestBoyshesxridiculousJestersDead74pan_opt_iconItsTiffinycastabignetK__g_nV_g_nKKuncut
    • 494
    • RETWEETS
    JestersDead74pan_opt_iconTySmithdrumsnikster007KKuncutvenkaiceprincesbleustreakmusicaddict75
    cynicuhlmaybestef________see_more13NoorShammaBruppFWTXPanettaSexyTimeworley_7
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    So glad I'm not bi. It would suck to be rejected by twice as many people.

    • 1,217
    • FAVS
    JestersDead74ShockTartBionicsweet69spicybikiniflowersmarywidoniamilbourn_markbarby_beargefiltecat
    • 355
    • RETWEETS
    sweet69spicyWhervrIMayRoammilbourn_markBrowneyed_mamathatUPSdudes_cLaN07khaosdummyVanillaTessa
    DurtMcHurttSpideroger
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    An ugly heart or a closed mind will ruin even the hottest face and body.

    • 982
    • FAVS
    Adyacesqueeenvkadropovscottthetwatbikiniflowerss_cLaN07OkieGirl405CountMackula
    • 408
    • RETWEETS
    scottthetwats_cLaN07CountMackulaTMcgutsFlashyWittscynicanoldicusTlaxBoy05VikeeysSecret
    inconsequentia2datahound2u
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Steps for getting over a break-up:
    1. Meet with your lover "for old times' sake."
    2. Tie them up for kinky sex play.
    3. Leave them to die.

    • 948
    • FAVS
    AdyacesJestersDead74YesImMattscottthetwats_cLaN07CountMackulahirojesusRaoul_Duke_71
    • 395
    • RETWEETS
    YesImMattscottthetwatRaoul_Duke_71awordforawordSpoiled_Red_32FlashyWittsA_SmartAssdrunkNnaughty
    HeyZeus666phantomchordscynicuhlRandomlyMJ
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    "Yeah. I wanna rub my clot while you duck me. I live that, baby." -Autocorrect sext

    • 834
    • FAVS
    AdyacesBeaconHill09scottthetwats_cLaN07hirojesusDONTJIMMYMEJULZTitansHomerFlashyWitts
    • 305
    • RETWEETS
    scottthetwatjeromejuwanDoyle_McLainVikeeysSecretJFKwasAFKmerican_ninjyI_SEE_THRU_YOUCheken
    TheD_BagJarVoiceofgarthTheChrimsonKing
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    People probably think I'm trying to clean my phone's screen if they catch me licking it in public, but really, I just like some of your avis

    • 901
    • FAVS
    JestersDead74_RyanKillians_cLaN07CountMackulaTitansHomerFlashyWittsCpin42VikeeysSecret
    • 166
    • RETWEETS
    I_SEE_THRU_YOUtbhmaddicharliedelta7aka_IDIOT_FuckinmoronsCajunKoopaSteveBanqsBaronKimaru
    RyenInTheMoinesDukeOfOyl________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Not telling me something because you "didn't want to piss me off" is probably the best way to piss me off.

    • 760
    • FAVS
    AdyacesshesxridiculousJestersDead74mystiqueK2VirgoSherrykelliefree2Bmehero_ofthenightAcademmission
    • 279
    • RETWEETS
    JestersDead74dick_ishscottthetwatSpanishFlightTattooJanieCrankyBitch1TitansHomerhangin_out
    cixelsidgod______GhostOfTheCanal
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Don't worry; no matter how low you feel, your last shred of dignity always remains. Unless you've fucked someone who wears Crocs.

    • 798
    • FAVS
    s_cLaN07CountMackulaRaoul_Duke_71TitansHomerFlashyWittsVikeeysSecretdreamthievinmerican_ninjy
    • 234
    • RETWEETS
    Raoul_Duke_71I_SEE_THRU_YOUDesignerCuntPaperFishiesCAPNMILLER73UrbanplaytimeSteve_hamiltinFuckinmorons
    MrNoLaughsDanTheSnickmeat_tornado_djr_102
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    When a guy stops DMing me because he found someone prettier, I just tell myself that he was a serial killer, and that I escaped death.

    • 773
    • FAVS
    buck4ittmommaschulewPerceptiongirlscottthetwats_cLaN07HeidiGolightlyRaoul_Duke_71FlashyWitts
    • 182
    • RETWEETS
    dick_ish99bananas_duhscottthetwatRaoul_Duke_71mixednutz35______MasterOfFuryChelmsquirrelFuckinmorons
    obi7k3nobi________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    The cool thing about camping is that you don't need to do it if you have a perfectly good house to live in.

    • 706
    • FAVS
    Adyacesbuck4ittBDGarpWildeThingyadropovpan_opt_iconscottthetwats_cLaN07
    • 201
    • RETWEETS
    dick_ishadropovpan_opt_iconscottthetwatSpecialist89FlashyWittsA_SmartAss3sheeter
    HeyZeusTx________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I'm really shitty at deciphering inflection in tweets, so if I starred your suicide note, I probably thought you were being sarcastic. Oops.

    • 737
    • FAVS
    scottthetwats_cLaN07Anyalachae7CountMackulaTitansHomerScigglez__________cynicanoldicusawescar
    • 136
    • RETWEETS
    scottthetwatCountMackulaFuckinmoronsNurseRatchet719loribuckmajorThe_KJMTeflonPawnForgotMyKangol
    peckishlyPretzelNY
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    What if the dick's so good you actually enjoy sucking it? Can you still even call it a blow job? Maybe blow hobby? Blow privilege? Blow joy?

    • 548
    • FAVS
    s_cLaN07JusatanoldguyNotaFunnyLadyosno13concretesledge_CountMackulaDONTJIMMYMEJULZDebauchedG
    • 212
    • RETWEETS
    NotaFunnyLadyCountMackulaawordforawordimperfect111ReeseButCallMeVdrunkNnaughtyBrunetteWarriorImABaconDonut
    Torriable
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I'm the Lindsay Lohan of repeatedly fucking up in life and not having anyone interested in seeing me naked.

    • 621
    • FAVS
    s_cLaN07DONTJIMMYMEJULZTitansHomerReeseButCallMeVcynicanoldicusawescarVikeeysSecretgg21462
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    I_SEE_THRU_YOUSpartan_Killer___MeAnaisBkevnastoZepsBlackDog42The_Dorksterswollenvoiceruslg1
    johngaysee
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    If you're proud of your life and the way you're living it, don't ever let anyone else make you feel ashamed about it. It's YOUR life.

    • 552
    • FAVS
    s_cLaN07TitansHomerawescarVikeeysSecretDickFurariserialmatrixdreamthievinmerican_ninjy
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    FuckinmoronskiebiMBittersweet25Whateverfitsme____SmartticismsblackjadebeautySimplyEffortfulAngel_IsAwesome__
    SupportPets_DashGoff__________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Just think, if girls making the duck face in pictures would just purse their lips a little bit tighter, we could call it "the asshole face."

    • 521
    • FAVS
    Adyacess_cLaN07nickeee_tweetsperhapssomedayawordforawordFlashyWittsTitansHomerawescar
    • 136
    • RETWEETS
    perhapssomedayawordforawordT_bagUngererFuckinmoronsducksbacktookv8kiebiMBittersweet25
    ExcuseMeMandi
@RealPrincessKim

@RealPrincessKim

Legally and officially Princess Kim. My family and friends are my life.