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  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    A couple approaches on the beach. He calls her "Allison." I write, "Marry me, Allison," in the sand and hide. And now we wait.

    • 2,401
    • FAVS
    Mikestanley1lovemydogduckKentWGrahamJam453LaneMaxine12333BeeeiitcchhvexroidiinkedZombie
    • 1,537
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckKentWGrahamBeeeiitcchhvexroidB_ULYSSES_JAMESDonQuickoatsMuthafailinBRaeUnderchilde
    cynicuhlMrTurstMikeCanRantWeissBrandon______awesomeseankMichael_Maybe23_LiesLoyalTrophiesPoliticallyILL1BruppFWTXadamtrossgolfcixelsidgod______
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    He wants a lady in the TL and a freak in the DMs.

    • 1,593
    • FAVS
    televictim22lovemydogduckJam453LaneBeeeiitcchhiinkedZombieB_ULYSSES_JAMESDonQuickoatsNotPeterStark__
    • 706
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckUhhdorkableBeeeiitcchhB_ULYSSES_JAMESPAAARINhirojesusDONTJIMMYMEJULZMr_Kapowski
    treydayway__UrbanDouchebagBruppFWTXfromthechi________PoliticallyILL1BlueRobotDesign
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    You know that scene in 8 Mile where Eminem disses himself so the other guy has nothing to rap about? That's basically my only plan in life.

    • 1,278
    • FAVS
    Mikestanley1lovemydogduckJam453LaneBeeeiitcchhvexroidiinkedZombieLorieGZB_ULYSSES_JAMES
    • 603
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckBeeeiitcchhvexroidhirojesusKate_DrenningAlvinmunkiDerylAduda_samini_
    VikeeysSecretCuddleYourCatBudders88iam_timJuan_GolbezzeshruglordA_SmartAssMissItAintMe______XoMiSsYoX
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I don't know why they call them comforters. This blanket doesn't care about my problems AT ALL.

    • 1,120
    • FAVS
    lovemydogduckKentWGrahamJam453LaneBeeeiitcchhLorieGZNotPeterStark__AnitaHelmetAPANCHALYPSENOW
    • 503
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckKentWGrahamAPANCHALYPSENOWbadpatrick1hirojesusth3RachMr_KapowskiDeurb1
    cynicuhlmaybestef________see_more13NoorShammaBruppFWTXPanettaSexyTimeGobshite_
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    An ugly heart or a closed mind will ruin even the hottest face and body.

    • 991
    • FAVS
    Juney1981LorieGZNotPeterStark__Mr_KapowskisoulindivisionDeurb1RadOrDie__Barrboni
    • 414
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckDontTouchMyWinehirojesussoulindivisionDeurb1headway10scottthetwat______s_cLaN07
    inconsequentia2datahound2u
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Steps for getting over a break-up:
    1. Meet with your lover "for old times' sake."
    2. Tie them up for kinky sex play.
    3. Leave them to die.

    • 958
    • FAVS
    lovemydogduckLorieGZNotPeterStark__TySmithdrumsDeurb1Mr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreCaptHalJordan
    • 402
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckhirojesusDeurb1RickyScamp__Mr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreJenny4ashleyYesImMatt
    HeyZeus666N60220638cynicuhlRandomlyMJ
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    True love is dropping half of a sandwich on the floor without anyone seeing, and giving your significant other the clean half.

    • 1,283
    • FAVS
    lovemydogduckKentWGrahamJam453LaneBeeeiitcchhvexroidLorieGZNotPeterStark__997omar
    • 386
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckKentWGrahamvexroidhirojesus997omarScott_A_GilmoreDouchekevinLadyMillieRock
    A_SmartAssLicoriceNipples______SoapyJohnsonTinkerbell_fastmofobansheeTimUhl
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    So glad I'm not bi. It would suck to be rejected by twice as many people.

    • 1,247
    • FAVS
    jrfitzgjustwant2wineOrignalceQueenfaultymoonpieselknalovemydogduckKentWGrahamNotPeterStark__
    • 371
    • RETWEETS
    OrignalceQueenfaultymoonpieiklx11007selknalovemydogduckhirojesusiluvtekila997omar
    DurtMcHurttSpideroger
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    My phone just auto-corrected "cunt" to "Cynthia" twice. So we've been warned: Cynthias are probably cunts.

    • 1,329
    • FAVS
    mybigblondelifelovemydogduckJam453LaneBeeeiitcchhAussieMuzB_ULYSSES_JAMESNotPeterStark__Mr_Kapowski
    • 360
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckAussieMuzB_ULYSSES_JAMEShirojesusScott_A_GilmoreJestersDead74Deurb1scottthetwat______
    chrisanna4realGuiltlessNickcerdo____________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    "Yeah. I wanna rub my clot while you duck me. I live that, baby." -Autocorrect sext

    • 844
    • FAVS
    ktoabWhoTheHeckIsMegNotPeterStark__ShutUpThatsWhocoolandbreezeyDeurb1lovelyjessijMr_Kapowski
    • 312
    • RETWEETS
    ktoabFlashyTaserhirojesuscoolandbreezeyDeurb1Mr_KapowskiScott_A_Gilmorescottthetwat______
    TheD_BagJarVoiceofgarthTheChrimsonKing
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Not telling me something because you "didn't want to piss me off" is probably the best way to piss me off.

    • 766
    • FAVS
    LorieGZNotPeterStark__JimboleemMr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDie__Adyacesshesxridiculous
    • 280
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_KapowskiJestersDead74jumpdasharkscottthetwat______SpanishFlightTattooJanieCrankyBitch1TitansHomer
    cixelsidgod______SepIsDead__
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Don't worry; no matter how low you feel, your last shred of dignity always remains. Unless you've fucked someone who wears Crocs.

    • 807
    • FAVS
    ElectfroTinaMH79DouchekevinNotPeterStark__Jimboleemmafrazier15Mr_KapowskiScott_A_Gilmore
    • 236
    • RETWEETS
    DouchekevinScott_A_GilmoreRaoul_Duke_71I_SEE_THRU_YOU__DesignerCuntPaperFishiesCAPNMILLER73Urbanplaytime
    MrNoLaughsDanTheSnick__meat_tornado_djr_102
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    What if the dick's so good you actually enjoy sucking it? Can you still even call it a blow job? Maybe blow hobby? Blow privilege? Blow joy?

    • 573
    • FAVS
    ElectfroTinaMH79santhonysaysDouchekevinilluminatedwndrNotPeterStark__Jimboleemilayew
    • 224
    • RETWEETS
    DouchekevinjumpdasharkmrSandmanSoCalDadAfterDarkInkedUpKidderMobyTitsBatardNoirkwirkyKerri
    Torriable
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    These aren't stretch marks. They're scars from when I lost battles against cake.

    • 350
    • FAVS
    davidlharcticgrrrrlWoz8005thetigerspotAsYouNotWishTheFlyInTheRoomjannable9inturnaround
    • 210
    • RETWEETS
    arcticgrrrrlIndiAnnikaJoneslavbornTheFlyInTheRoomjannable9RomaineHBakermywhackeduplifeKV68P
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    The cool thing about camping is that you don't need to do it if you have a perfectly good house to live in.

    • 720
    • FAVS
    ElectfrospekulationDouchekevinilluminatedwndrAussieMuzLorieGZNotPeterStark__Jimboleem
    • 206
    • RETWEETS
    spekulationDouchekevinAussieMuzmafrazier15Scott_A_Gilmorejumpdasharkadropovpan_opt_icon__
    HeyZeusTx________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    When a guy stops DMing me because he found someone prettier, I just tell myself that he was a serial killer, and that I escaped death.

    • 784
    • FAVS
    ElectfroDouchekevinLorieGZNotPeterStark__Jimboleemms_obliviousmadhatter0713__mafrazier15
    • 184
    • RETWEETS
    DouchekevinMr_Kapowskijumpdashark99bananas_duhscottthetwat______Raoul_Duke_71mixednutz35______MasterOfFury
    obi7k3nobi________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    People probably think I'm trying to clean my phone's screen if they catch me licking it in public, but really, I just like some of your avis

    • 906
    • FAVS
    illuminatedwndrNotPeterStark__Mr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDie__JestersDead74_RyanKillians_cLaN07
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreI_SEE_THRU_YOU__tbhmaddicharliedelta7fuckyeahjimothyFuckinmoronsCajunKoopaTheAseka
    RyenInTheMoinesDukeOfOyl________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    I'm really shitty at deciphering inflection in tweets, so if I starred your suicide note, I probably thought you were being sarcastic. Oops.

    • 746
    • FAVS
    Douchekevinilluminatedwndrmarrusya6vexroidLorieGZNotPeterStark__JimboleemMr_Kapowski
    • 140
    • RETWEETS
    DouchekevinvexroidMr_KapowskiScott_A_Gilmorescottthetwat______CountMackulaFuckinmoronsNurseRatchet719
    peckishlyPretzelNY
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    If you're proud of your life and the way you're living it, don't ever let anyone else make you feel ashamed about it. It's YOUR life.

    • 558
    • FAVS
    LorieGZNotPeterStark__JimboleemMr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreRadOrDie__s_cLaN07TitansHomer
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    FuckinmoronskiebiMBittersweet25Whateverfitsme____SmartticismsblackjadebeautySimplyEffortfulAngel_IsAwesome__
    SupportPets_DashGoff__________
  • RealPrincessKim
      Princess Kim @RealPrincessKim

    Just think, if girls making the duck face in pictures would just purse their lips a little bit tighter, we could call it "the asshole face."

    • 526
    • FAVS
    NotPeterStark__JimboleemMobyTitsMr_KapowskiScott_A_GilmoreAdyacess_cLaN07nickeee_tweets
    • 137
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_KapowskiperhapssomedayawordforawordTeahUngererFuckinmoronsducksbacktookv8kiebi
    ExcuseMeMandi

Princess Kim’s Best Tweets (By Retweets)

@RealPrincessKim

@RealPrincessKim

Legally and officially Princess Kim. My family and friends are my life.

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