Oscar's displaying typical behaviour of an abuser, acts out in rage then gets all apologetic after the fact. He gets no sympathy from me.

Meanwhile, Zuma has added another floor with a helicopter landing pad and a garage housing a lear jet to collect guests for Nkandla.

What? No friends? That's okay, take picture of yourself in the bathroom and open a twitter account, strangers will love you.

Funny how the ANC defends free speech when they sing about shooting farmers but silence critics with an opinion they find offensive?

Buying your followers and then selling yourself as an 'influencer' is fraudulent, right? @gorillacm @barrytuck @kirstybisset

First Tiger Woods and then Lance Armstrong, Nike should change their slogan to "Don't do it!"

This 'Skyrim' thing, is that similar to the 'Mile High Club'?

When I die one day I hope it's from stroke, but it must be somebody I like, I don't like being touched by strangers.

Has anybody made a joke about being so hungry that they could eat a horse? Someone should totally get on that.

You say Potayto because I added a "y". You're welcome.

Nothing like retweeting a compliment to get rid of those insecurities.

He may not be found guilty yet, but if you think that there's ever a reason good enough to shoot an unarmed person 4 times you need help.

Just once I'd like to see a fist bump go wrong and result in a broken nose.

If petrol weren't so expensive I'd go do a few laps of the FREEways, before they become FuckenExpensiveWays. #eToll

When a bio says "Aspiring actress" what she really means to say is she has tough knees.

The hideous new one series BMW is proof that you can stick a BMW badge on anything and people will buy it.

I don't really feel like today, when is tomorrow happening?

It's extremely worrying to think that Chris Brown has any fans at all, it shows how fucked up people are. (Pun intended)

I remember 9/11 like it was yesterday.

It's funny watching old people struggle with cell phones, it stops being funny when they ask for help.