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What were your favorite parts of "Dunston Checks In"? Mine were the HIJINKS.
you hear about this guy Mozart? he made these endless 30 minute songs. It's like,"ok,no one will like that unless they're high" #phish
i like to whisper "i miss Hazel" while watching the olympic equestrian event,so ppl think I maybe owned a horse
news reports say there was no hurricane-related looting. Makes sense, because the looting i did last night was still because of RODNEY KING
this restoration blooper is easily one of the funniest stories of the month http://t.co/F6j1V3RR
My Holocaust-survivor grandfather is joining Twitter. You can follow him, but DO NOT affix the yellow "favorite" star to any of his tweets.
is it rude to tell astronauts that we don't need to see them "doing everyday tasks" anymore? like, we get it, the stuff floats around
A Bon Jovi song just played as a segue on Fox News & the anchor said "love Springsteen".EVERY "fact" they say on this channel is incorrect
Miranda Rights: "You have the right to be a strong-willed female lawyer who eventually finds love despite her cynicism about relationships"
True story: The first time I smoked pot, I called my parents from a bathroom to ask them to Yahoo search "heart attack+marijuana"
There's a special place in Hell reserved for people who envision Hell as organized and bureaucratic enough to have reserved "special places"
no,women's magazines,I don't know how to make an outfit go from "office to party"but I do know how to go from "nannying to improv practice"
🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘excuse me, may i interrupt your elephant parade? 🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘
is that song from the nutcracker the internationally recognized "song to indicate sneaking" or is that one something else? k goodnight
rappers: if u like "references"so much do one about Charlie Bucket's grandparents all in that one bed in the living room(could relate 2 sex)
