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I'm paranoid but not "Obama created the tornadoes" paranoid.
Got irrationally angry at my eyebrows and now I look like Snidely Whiplash.
Gran's review of Gatsby included the phrase "Daisy had so many moles. They were everywhere on her body." So I think Ebert's legacy is safe.
My go-to move is the "I'll just lay down a bit and figure out my day."
Couldn't find my hoodie so I draped a blanket over my shoulders and now I crave bingo and hard candies.
*slow clap* Way to go, Internet. I googled "Dick Trickle."
It'd be easier for someone to explain to me the intricacies of String Theory than why The Californians on SNL are funny.
If one of you come over and make me a cheese sandwich I'll let you choose what kind of chips to crush in it.
Sorry, Life! I'm having tater tots for lunch so you can't touch me today.
The truest look into your soul is how you eat room service when alone.
I'm crying over Mac Daddy and will take no crap about it.