Never understand why people give others grief on here. If there's something you don't like in an account, just unfollow

@ladyfuckwit "D'ya want me to pull the skin back?" she asked, "or is it true that the skin is the best bit?" #fiftyshadesofspuds

I love this poem, especially the line
'You can have sex with anyone
But with whom can you sleep?' #Poetryday http://t.co/uyOTsTAl

@gingander Depends how big it is

Good Friday always makes me think of this Bill Hicks clip:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17lNs9EFOYI&feature=youtube_gdata_player …

Surely given how fair-skinned she is, Annie should have been delighted the sun won't come out #itsonlyadayaway

@bgoldfairy Gigantic

Since this burger stuff started, has anybody seen Princess Anne...?

Watching Masterchef. It all looks lovely but I'd need to stop of for chips after those dinners

@mrssmith_shhh @damn_msberry Duhh, of course!

The weekend starts here* *weekend also available in other places too

I also love this poem, mostly cos of how he reads it: http://t.co/9mOplxyo #Poetryday

Misread name of that programme on BBC4 now, not as interested in Africa's Magnificent BEASTS...

@sporadicattack Who needs soul? Redheads have pale skin, freckles, pink nips and flame bush #win

Have just found out that girl used to fancy at uni now runs own massage service. I am tempted...

@sporadicattack Twitter is like the dark side - and once you start down the path of the dark side, forever does it shape your destiny

@squizzyella Unless that's from your sister

@charlyhops Think you've a few decades to go before that is a worry

After that, Ireland should tell Europe to eff off, they're not getting the rest of the loan back #Eurovision

@kooklamou Maybe you're going to get Thai'd up