Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
There needs to be Uno tables in Vegas
Sometimes you have to just drink a beer and cry.
Screw you bank. My funds do not like being called insufficient when they are trying really hard.
I know its like "cool" to be an asshole and hate everything on Twitter. But a lot of you guys are really fucking awesome and nice.
Im out of beer and in my pajamas. Fuck it! Im sure the liquor store guy has seen worse.
i sound like such an asshole when i order a croissant.
why arent booze juiceboxes a thing?
Theres nothing more powerful than an idea. Except an idea with a gun.
I don't want to date you. I just want you to put together all this shit I bought from Ikea.
But all my Facebook friends think I'm funny
Crushin so hard you could slip me in a drink and ruin someone's night.
Im a good listener. Especially of youre talking about me.
Being an independent woman feels great. Until I have to take out the trash. Then I just sulk all the way to the dumpster and back.
do these glitter tipped nails make me look all Wal-Marty?
You can tickle me if you ever wondered a broken nose feels like.
You arent weird just cuz you say stuff I saw on a tshirt in Hot Topic.
Cause of death: Died of hunger waiting for a pot pie to finish baking.
If my name was jack i would steal everyones tweets and be all, "you just got jacked" ok,fine Im leaving now. sorry.
My head is a TV. Always hungry, but I ain't thirsty.Dont sleep much. I roll my eyes a lot. Always delirious. instagram:stfurein