#ifsantawasblack Instead of coming down the chimney with a sack full of gifts- he'd be climbin in yo windows, snatchin yo gifts up.

So many pics of mothers

Stop posting your shithouse healthy meals on Instagram. No one cares.

I would bang the female rabbit from Space Jam.

About to lock it down...

Max is a handsome man

The Giants are pretty much the hipster thrift store douche of the NFL. Not every pick needs to be a dusty bargain, you guys.

Never Forget: Hobo With A Shotgun

Get a room everybody

My girlfriend yells at the tv with as much skill and intensity as I could hope for. For this I am truly thankful.

Some dude sent my boss his resumé yesterday, the cover letter began: "Dear PooBum". Applicant was from Wellington, NZ. Huh??

Those lousy Mayans aren't the boss of me

Relationships are controlled by the person who cares least.

How many bears could Bear Grylls grill, if Bear Grylls could grill bears?

Why is there a DJ playing at Domino's Pizza?

People trusted you with their lives and they died Bodhi.

Ahem... Light.

My boss needs to be more playoff friendly.

@bbrriiee you need these pic.twitter.com/uaOVqgdxGs

👍 EEEYYYYYYYY 👍