Don't fuck with me. Miller may be for trashy white people but it's fucking high class for black people!!!!

Hey seattleites... If your vivisting Vegas... Its like you never left home!

Lightning never strikes the same place twice because it knows chuck norris is looking for it.

just because you're put it out there doesn't mean that everyone wants it.

you might drink to make you happy but you cannot drink to make you pretty

I should move to utah... It would help me with my sobriety.

I want to go back to bed cause i have to work tonight, but my neighbors are balsing their damn taco cart music!

I want to be standing next to one of these believers at 3pm tomorrow so i can bitch slap the future kids out of their eyes.

I might be getting old.. But your the one loosing your mind.

Who to vote for? Hum.. Reid or Angle?.. I say...A blank bumper sticker, cause at least it does 100% of what it says.

Is it even possiable to find the perfect job where you enjoy what you do, and get along with everyone?

@im_tricia Twitter as a hobby only counts when your drunk. Its like drunk texting, only everyone is invited.

Wow... You gotta love it when you wake up at 6pm and your still drunk!

Wont someone take me away?

I just heard a song that wa so bad that i want to beat a donkey with a bowling pin.

Shit, i just woke up.

I am a great conversation piece.