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  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate.

    • 951
    • FAVS
    Jay_kriegerbulls_hornschristophrVerifiedDrunkJustLindaSTLbelltran23ClearlyUnwellvxgxn
    • 2,779
    • RETWEETS
    NYHornetJavishSRJ7KathyDeitchkellirificKarlWardenmatt_salvatoreDJSparkles
    Canadian_HoserVermicious_kdIGotsSmartsgoldengateblondRitleySammichpeterbyrnesshariv67
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    BREAKING: Following NRA's path, alcohol industry now blaming drunk driving on "too much Mario Kart"

    • 402
    • FAVS
    Jay_kriegerVerifiedDrunkClearlyUnwelljvenn81SithLord2064jackoatsjustin_TPMbenicus_rex
    • 1,590
    • RETWEETS
    SithLord2064kylestevensgaishMcWaishy_ae197707jackoatsbitrandombitpetergkrauseautopsy4
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    The debate so far:

    Paul Ryan: "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!"

    Joe Biden: "Hah! This little nerd is funny!"

    #VPDebate

    • 357
    • FAVS
    VerifiedDrunkClearlyUnwellhg47SaraThomas84GreeblemonkeyOnBeingHerFattMernandezNickadoo
    • 1,054
    • RETWEETS
    lagrandjmows1cavs2centsryan2613soultravelermanubushFish_DoctorsimianarmyHallwaywall
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    Guys, stop "friending" me: Twitter is for people I like but don't know. Facebook is for people I know but don't like.

    • 525
    • FAVS
    HollyMemphismartinaperseJustLindaSTLClearlyUnwellproEXgirlfriendLove140Artjvenn81hg47
    • 809
    • RETWEETS
    hg47johnikinsczdsp0TessaCanzlery_ae197707SpiritGreyBullKeepnt1hundredandroefskigerachejzybx9
    ThatsAFakeLaugh__
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    Mitt Romney says he defines "middle-income" as people who make $200,000 to $250,000 a year.

    I think I just turned into a hobo.

    • 230
    • FAVS
    VerifiedDrunkClearlyUnwellhg47SleepingSuspectSaraThomas84GreeblemonkeySydalneNickadoo
    • 970
    • RETWEETS
    AlexMcCluskey14daisythepimpstaCanIPunchYOUaudreyandjunk_shelbymontanaMalikHintonCanTheyKeepUplaniate
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    A friend told a good joke. Unable to star him, I gave him a hug. It was awkward.

    Twitter is turning me into a weirdo.

    • 809
    • FAVS
    VerifiedDrunkClearlyUnwellhg47SleepingSuspectSaraThomas84ASAPBullwinkleAshleyAlmondzikalista
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    rachfultzdjmpb01ChasonWSGJ74tiffdreherABORDIGITALMorgan_StallardBenShaver0
    ineedaballrubtheNuzzy
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    FOX NEWS: BOOOOO!

    MSNBC: YAYYYYYY!!!

    CNN: Anyone know what time this Supreme Court thingy is happening?

    • 165
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    ClearlyUnwellhg47SaraThomas84GreeblemonkeyFattMernandezNickadooHeyZeus666ActingAnEejit
    • 659
    • RETWEETS
    mtn335GarrettJ8TheArea51AlienJenniferPlacenicknewman801ADLavinskyabsolutebankerlajacob
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    I wish lawmakers would start telling me what to do with my penis. Really confused. Women are *so* lucky.

    • 272
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    VerifiedDrunkClearlyUnwellLove140Arthg47SleepingSuspectSaraThomas84Andrea__B__spode411
    • 521
    • RETWEETS
    hg47Comedians4Canimakgx_miss_lizzie_xUrbanbootcampsdJess_uhkaacquiredthoughtMauer_Pauer
    joeschmitt
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    Frankly, I'm starting to feel a little self-conscious about the fact that I've never been punched by Chris Brown.

    • 245
    • FAVS
    batchyyyVerifiedDrunkClearlyUnwellSleepingSuspectmissnzeeSaraThomas84anythingatoncepretty_viki
    • 513
    • RETWEETS
    marco1475MasonMagagnaHairbyStixBonanzaChicmissnzeeakamoffeChiroCutiePHLBizDPoncet
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    BREAKING: Sarah Palin confirms she can see Chechnya from her back yard, is keeping an eye on it

    • 317
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    sdx76labyrinthprettyPurpell_Nurpelliammal1971twtysonspiritzayntheminizoojadetyee
    • 429
    • RETWEETS
    iammal1971nyassonpartyandmalikstephenn91dennisworthamesd2000JayMilton2HuseynovaNara
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    Fox News: Barack Obama sworn in as America's first-ever two-term Kenyan socialist secret-Muslim dictato-presi-king gun-taker

    • 223
    • FAVS
    ClearlyUnwellLove140ArtJimmyJohnLhg47SaraThomas84kittypants5_matilda__ScottLinnen
    • 438
    • RETWEETS
    hg47RemyOgunde_matilda__BalkingpointsYungKookerJoshKobusinskiStickLesscapriconza3
    hg47
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    Ladies, please keep it down a bit, a large group of white men are in Washington trying to sort out your birth control.

    • 274
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    VerifiedDrunkClearlyUnwellhg47SleepingSuspectSaraThomas84GreeblemonkeyBambamVictoriaSydalne
    • 386
    • RETWEETS
    OverMotherhoodVMorgDotComsafewrdWhiskeyBVediaHellasPlanitiawickedvertigoTrulyMadlySALSAgjwar
    FlyoverJoel
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    For parents of small children, weekends are about as relaxing as showering with cats.

    • 353
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    VerifiedDrunk3xMom_of_TJustLindaSTLmattwallacePESalama_KhartleyrgDiarrheaJDocKareBear
    • 273
    • RETWEETS
    ImDreasass0420kellirificilgrandechuckStephanieBraun8tel7589hstep5vbacjourney
    ClearlyUnwellyoyoha
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    Facebook now has 901 million users and all of them have invited me to play FarmVille.

    • 195
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    myaccentisweirdtorieannesaltbmcduff7ddanaa13iGreenMonkTheGrimKingDawnyPresjordashbord
    • 403
    • RETWEETS
    pimpinoTheGrimKingheatha_Tgooster66thedomestictypeTHE_natedoggJollyReprobatenicfit75
    kelkulust0shiba
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    I believe it was me who once said, "Someday I'll quote myself."

    Dream realized.

    • 566
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    nycgrl11haakonaaVerifiedDrunkClearlyUnwellJCarnovaleAndrea__B__bscactusZilliamson
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    Comedians4CDanSackheimjacobswgot_heeemTwirtyDozenFoolishwaisseJimJimNugentoldscud
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    BREAKING: Donald Trump will donate $5 million to hurricane relief effort if everyone admits Hurricane Sandy started in Kenya

    • 135
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    VerifiedDrunkClearlyUnwellhg47SaraThomas84GreeblemonkeyBambamVictoriaNickadooJen_Beasley
    • 410
    • RETWEETS
    DevendrapandayShouldbesedatednickyskyeVivaLaMeghannikonaddict75kdnewyorkCalebIsAwkwarddeejb
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    Ladies, remember to check in with your congressman before doing anything with your vaginas this weekend.

    • 187
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    VerifiedDrunkClearlyUnwellhg47SaraThomas84GreeblemonkeyBambamVictoriaSydalneFattMernandez
    • 348
    • RETWEETS
    VMorgDotComGuhWhenDieVampiresTuningUpTheBandAgrsv_Athletics_MisterMilesallysin_kayJanine7233
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    Rick Santorum's pledge to ban porn is really going to hurt him in the key demographic of men ages 13 to dead.

    • 208
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    VerifiedDrunkgaitlinkreifClearlyUnwellhg47SleepingSuspectSaraThomas84BambamVictoriaSydalne
    • 320
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    SusanandTrixieSinghfellasmdieselCodyBachmanBrentTaylor21sylbobagginsTJoviansarcasticuss
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    Ann Coulter says radiation is "good for you."

    If that woman said water is "good for you," I'd advise fish to take their chances on land.

    • 167
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    VerifiedDrunkClearlyUnwellhg47SleepingSuspectJuodaitisOldTimeyProIndyAviatordeanna758
    • 348
    • RETWEETS
    avaedanielsdmlacts2024jbullydawgdeanna758RocksNoSaltkatemeehanHCalyinponderlandnewf93
  • RexHuppke
      Rex Huppke @RexHuppke

    The GOP has passed its American Dream Platform, which at last gives rights to rich, white, straight, Christian, English-speaking polluters.

    • 129
    • FAVS
    ClearlyUnwellhg47SleepingSuspectSaraThomas84SydalneFattMernandezNickadooActingAnEejit
    • 335
    • RETWEETS
    bujin_ctWriteJennyWrite_OrwellOccupyGreedThxdfishDurrseyCarrie_WoffordMackDzl
@RexHuppke

@RexHuppke
Pro

America's most-beloved workplace advice columnist at http://t.co/0unF8G2rEO. (VERY SERIOUS) humor columnist. Narwhal lover. Hypocrisy enthusiast.