@RexHuppke's (Rex Huppke) most faved Tweets...
A friend told a good joke. Unable to star him, I gave him a hug. It was awkward.

Twitter is turning me into a weirdo.
I believe it was me who once said, "Someday I'll quote myself."

Dream realized.
Once again, it appears I've prematurely donned my gay apparel.
Careful out there, people. This "Prius recall" sounds like a classic CIA hippie roundup.
I've been part of the men's downhill team ever since I turned 35.
When I fart in Starbucks, I like to say, "Oh, my. That was a Venti."

Then everyone just nods and we go about our day.
I'll shake what my mama gave me as soon as I figure out how to gyrate low self-esteem and a crippling fear of change.
Bacon tastes so much better when it's marinated in vegan tears.
If I eat any more of this granola I'm going to start caring about stuff.
I went a full day without sending a tweet and realized I have a family. It was like finding change under the sofa cushions.
Look, boss, all I said was, "I bet my raise is as big as your dick." Whether that's an insult or not is entirely up to you.
I wish Santa was real and Sarah Palin was the folksy fictional character.
A terrorist carrying an explosive device in his underwear.

Your move, porn industry.
The 5-year-old keeps announcing whatever he's about to do. "Stop, son. Only grownups on social media networks get to do that."
And by the way, since when does anyone need a pact with the devil to defeat the French?
I find ribs taste even better when I call them "meat on the cob."
So there I am, feasting on brains, and this dude calls me the z-word. And I'm like, "It's un-dead American, asshole!" Yeesh.
A study has found that people who use Twitter work harder at their jobs and I'm totally kidding we'll all be fired any day now.
For Lent, Sarah Palin is giving up the governorship of Alask...her last shred of human dign...her integri...let's say candy.
A new study concludes that optimistic people are happier.

The study's probably wrong.

Studies are stupid.



Fuck you.
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