Seriously who #loop #vinedogs #comedy #gross  https://vine.co/v/hB0uuBBj9JM 

If Etta James wrote "At Last" now, I would hope it would be called "Dat Ass"

Construction workers can still cat call me providing I don't have to stop coaxing them to jump.

To whomever broke into my car last night-sorry you didn't want my cat carrier & felt whatever was in my car would better your life that much

I've never messed up under pressure with millions watching! Miss Utah is a chump! Lets keep it up cause she's too pretty to have feelings

I'm having one of those days where everyone looks like a background actor

Hey Guys! Anyone can register and Vote for Best Comedy Short so Vote for One Woman Show !
 http://www.canadiancomedy.ca/ 
#thisisgoingtogetannoying

VOTE NOW - For One Woman Show for A Canadian Comedy Award for Best Short -  http://www.canadiancomedy.ca/  &  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wh86DRphBeQ …

@john_noon @allisondore I love you too John and miss our times together

I wish I could be wrong as many times as meteorologist and it be "Okay" with everyone

Totally know how the Prince Bride felt. My shoes are completely filled with sand

@walkinsauce THEY ARE SO CHEAP

gimme a call if you need ;)

Tonight I am hosting @comedybrawl ! 7:30 at Johnny Jacksons (587 College St) Come and support comedy!

Jukeboxes in bars start more fights than drunken girlfriends

When I see a cat on a missing poster, I always think they just weren't ready to be a parent yet...

"Happiness is high bun" - Hipsters running two things we love = Music and fashion...

Nothing like waking up with your significant other, your dog and 2 window cleaners ALL farting in unison.

Walking into a Starbucks with no bra on, is my way of sticking it to corporatism.

Just found out my life is going to seriously change in 9 months.... IM MOVING TO MARS!

Congrats to the cast of #MadMen on your #MMVA! So much going on its hard to keep track of! See you at #NXNE after my set on #DayTimeEmmys