I saw a woman crying while she was buying tampons earlier, she must be going through a tough period in her life.

Decided to write a book called "girls don't fart and other myths I wish that I still believed in"

Feminine sanitation jokes are inappropriate. Period

Calories (noun) - Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a bit tighter every night.

This really works!
1.) hold your breath for 5 minutes.
2.) die.

2 doctors are in bed after sex.
Guy: u must be a OBGYN u can work that pussy
Woman: U must be a anesthesiologist
I didn't feel a thing

"Ladies first." is a man's polite way of saying "You go first, and I'll stay back and look at your ass..."

You ever fire up your leaf blower and blow your Neighbors chihuahua down the street? ;)

Alcohol, the social lubricant

Men look at boobs for the same reason little kids look at puppies in a cage. They both just want to set them free and play with them.

Did You Know?
If you put your ear against a strangers leg, you can hear them say:
WTF ARE YOU DOING?!

Have you ever noticed that strap on back words spells no parts?

If you are in bed with a blind girl & she says "I've never had my hands on a cock as big as yours"!!!

She's probably pulling your leg.

I have a very fast and strong tongue!!!
I'm just throwing that out there !!!

Don't worry when I fight with you, worry when I stop because it means there's nothing left for us to fight for.

Women who wear push up bras should have to wear a sign that states "Objects in shirt may be smaller then they appear"

When I was born, I was given a choice -

A big dick or a good memory. I don't

remember, what I chose.

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?








Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Boys ask for pictures with no clothes on, Men ask for pictures with no make up on.

You don't always have to defend yourself with words. Sometimes your silence gives people a clue that you have better thoughts in mind.