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It's been Chevy Truck Month for about 9 years now
[spelling bee, year 2035]
Moderator: *sigh* Definition - make dem boys go loco
N. Korea: "we have nukes."
Obama: "WE HAVE A HULK."
Farrah from Teen Mom is releasing a sex tape, which is pretty much a prequel to Teen Mom, which should pretty much be called "Teen Hooker."
I LIKE THIS NEW KANYE WEST FONT
*Drake picks Lil Wayne up off a skateboard by his waist. Nicki Minaj grabs the board. Flips it. Drake places him back on the board safely*
Weird how Boy Scouts never allowed openly gay boys to join 'til now considering how literally nothing is gayer than Boy Scouts.
Happy find-out-what-everyone's-mom-looks-like-on-Facebook Day!
To clarify any confusion, Texas Toast is just regular toast holding a gun.
*gets captured by ISIS leader* "we either cut ur head off or strap u to a chair inside a guitar center, u deci--" "cut my fucking head off"
BF: You hang up first.
GF: No YOU hang up first.
BF: no, YOU.
NSA: *click* *dial tone*
Ex-Box One is what Taylor Swift calls the box in her basement that she plans on keeping Joe Jonas' dead body in.
I'm 24 years old. I am an American. I'm fully eligible to vote. I owe $9 to the public library in overdue fees for a book about lizards.
Relatives don't understand why im 25 & don't have kids yet but they don't understand that this world's not ready for a child named Blastoise
It's probably called 'Talking Dead' because 'Grown Up Idiot Losers Over Analyzing A Fucking Show About Zombies On Sundays,' is too long.
AN UPDATE FROM TEXAS: Governor Gregg Abbott just had a bowl of guns for breakfast and is now moving all poor people into concentration camps
"And this is a giant pit of emperor scorpions where people who never shut up about crossfit do their crossfit." -Satan giving a tour of Hell
Breaking Bad could've been written to take place in the state of Texas but you know what they say, "Don't meth with Texas."
Tim Duncan sneaks into the locker room and sticks a piece of tape covering an 'N' on back of Bonner's jersey. He LOLs. He's 37 years old.
Bassist for @SonsOfTexas_ . covered in cat hair. XXX
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