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[spelling bee, year 2035]
Moderator: *sigh* Definition - make dem boys go loco
N. Korea: "we have nukes."
Obama: "WE HAVE A HULK."
Farrah from Teen Mom is releasing a sex tape, which is pretty much a prequel to Teen Mom, which should pretty much be called "Teen Hooker."
Know the difference:
- they're, there, their
- your, you're
- who's , whose
- Gastly, Haunter, Gengar
I LIKE THIS NEW KANYE WEST FONT
I wear pants from Hot Topic but I'm never certain they won't spontaneously poof into a fleeing swarm of bats, leaving me pantless.
A critic called my band "a buncha desert horndogs," and now we're PISSEDDDD we didn't think of that as a band name.
*Drake picks Lil Wayne up off a skateboard by his waist. Nicki Minaj grabs the board. Flips it. Drake places him back on the board safely*
Why are they flying this kid back to SC on a private jet? Fire him out of a canon. Catapult him like the Wile E Coyote. Fuck this kid.
Weird how Boy Scouts never allowed openly gay boys to join 'til now considering how literally nothing is gayer than Boy Scouts.
Happy find-out-what-everyone's-mom-looks-like-on-Facebook Day!
To clarify any confusion, Texas Toast is just regular toast holding a gun.
Childhood: sitting on a skateboard rolling down the driveway.
Adulthood: sitting on a skateboard rolling into oncoming traffic
[Darth Vader setting up email]
*types in password K Y L O R E N*
"Your password is too weak"
*Darth Vader glares at camera*
Memorable tour moment
Mark, on stage: "I'm gonna watch my language up here cuz I see some kids in the crowd"
Dude in the crowd: "FUCK EM!"
Batman Vs Superman promotion
2015: most anticipated film!
2016: hey come see if it really sucks or whatever
*gets captured by ISIS leader* "we either cut ur head off or strap u to a chair inside a guitar center, u deci--" "cut my fucking head off"
BF: You hang up first.
GF: No YOU hang up first.
BF: no, YOU.
NSA: *click* *dial tone*
Bassist for @SonsOfTexas.
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