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“I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.”
RT @thebenbrooks Teach a man to phish and he'll pretend he's a Nigerian businessman.
"We can't all, and some of us don't. That is all there is too it." Eeyore
RT @portnik Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work.
RT @jephkelley I found a Canadian penny today.It's so adorable 2 see a geographical region make its own money & pretend to be a real country
RT @jephkelley Working at a car wash would be the worst job ever. Except on the days Batman comes, in which case it would be an honor.
It's been raining for 3 days straight....Oh crap, crap, CRAP! "Build an ark" must have been on that to-do list I dropped in the toilet!!
If you run from something it stays with you longer, if you fight something it makes you stronger
RT @fizzyduck
Has there been any insanity in your family? Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss
Top 10 Ways to Make a Woman Fall in Love With You --> http://bit.ly/ajRmvv Thanks @thetop10blog :)
Great tip: @unfollowr If you follow them, they DM you every time someone unfollows
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