Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Whose idea was it to put an S in the word lisp?

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

I'm in that awkward phase of the day between never drinking again and noon.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Tell me the truth .. Did you escape from an institution?

Lmao!! If only! Lol! pic.twitter.com/a8BvCqBm

The trouble with trouble is it starts out as fun.

People .. pic.twitter.com/VN2pbJIP

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?

This weekend's forecast... Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out

Stalking .. pic.twitter.com/4Mx3wkx7

Hhmm .. pic.twitter.com/4kMMXAnl

You are more beautiful than you could recognize.

The more I know the less I understand ...

@thecancersign
June 29

There's a little bit of 'Fuck You' in every 'Whatever' ...

All we really need is love ..



And alcohol.



And drugs.




I should just erase that first thought.