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  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Gift @RockKraller Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 1,042
    • LIKES
    FnResilient1_7948amongst_tragedyXplodingUnicornSecureSamprincesschattyBlancheDD140__BrewCity_guy__
    • 510
    • RETWEETS
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    ursaconfemin9KindOfASmartass__HoGoLightlyRackOfSteel______
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    My kids can program our DVR from a cell phone & figure out any video game in 2 mins, but I'm the only 1 who knows how a fuckin plunger works

    • 817
    • LIKES
    DarkTallBastardBlondAmbitionTO1_7948amongst_tragedysgtpd75bananagrvyrdvolatpropriiscipollonsky
    • 380
    • RETWEETS
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    pizzajaynowlife_suckerBelvAndBourb
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    I give guys driving mini vans plenty of room. I figure there's already a reduced will to live & they're probably 1 straw away from snapping

    • 629
    • LIKES
    vapidaccountDarkTallBastardBlondAmbitionTObeersudsamongst_tragedyNeauxpe__Sirrruhvolatpropriis
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
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    Voiceofgarth
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    My hand...on the small of your back as we enter the room...just a small reassurance that you're safe...

    and completely mine.

    • 511
    • LIKES
    Test_KT12P_dabholkar3dollarbagnewstart43elzumba21that_libbychick__BCabilalthe_flippy_side
    • 296
    • RETWEETS
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    MouthOfSass__blondecalamityMoistPorkPeaceAddictionOne_FineMesshipchkk
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Her: There's a hand print on my ass
    Me: Yes
    Her: Why?
    Me: Were you naked & in my bed?
    Her: Yes
    Me: I don't understand the question

    • 448
    • LIKES
    Sean_Fizzy713kenzabenzie__debbiepsychXplodingUnicornprincesschattyanne_seattleCaptMerica82__SoGoFu
    • 179
    • RETWEETS
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    life_suckerCherrym_1982
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    My favorite aspect of twitter....no matter how much we banter, none of you fuckers are coming to my house or expecting me to come to yours

    • 453
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    MyPornKhandebbiepsychXplodingUnicornprincesschattyCrystalMe523mcibtysticksandcymbalSoGoFu
    • 173
    • RETWEETS
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    calvoquinn__BlazedDonuts______
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Wife painted the bathroom lite pink. I kinda like it...



    Who am I kidding, I picked it cuz sometimes I wanna soak in the tub & feel pretty

    • 428
    • LIKES
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    • 113
    • RETWEETS
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    SupportPets_
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    I swear...I think restaurants with drive thru's identify the dumbest employee and say "here, you get to wear the headset"

    • 340
    • LIKES
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    • 123
    • RETWEETS
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    KingPatrick24
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    If you don't have anything nice to say, we can still hang out. If you dont have anything intelligent to say, go read a book & catch me later

    • 265
    • LIKES
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    • 154
    • RETWEETS
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    hipchkk
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Though I've done so tens of thousand of times, simply touching her still excites me.

    • 319
    • LIKES
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    • 92
    • RETWEETS
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    calvoquinn__Fallun_Angel__SupportPets_
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Jesus....this guy's driving like he's tweeting.

    Wait that's me...

    Sorry dude, I'll get out of your lane now.

    • 304
    • LIKES
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    • 60
    • RETWEETS
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    Jazzzzzmina
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Some of you fuckers scare me. Not in a "clock tower shooter" kinda way...more in an "allowed to vote and procreate" kinda way

    • 218
    • LIKES
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    • 145
    • RETWEETS
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    JustCallMeFrank
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Holding hands is underrated.

    • 222
    • LIKES
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    • 127
    • RETWEETS
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  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Gave the wife a choice this morning....golf course or intercourse.

    I'm 3 under at the turn.

    • 259
    • LIKES
    sgtpd75debbiepsychXplodingUnicornUnClaimedJoeBouncerfaceangu1973LerkyHollyHeals
    • 63
    • RETWEETS
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  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Always takes me a few mins to remember that southern women have an extra something in their DNA that makes 'em a lil sexier than the rest

    • 234
    • LIKES
    MrTallPaul1BowermanBeckyemilyevansrossannajeanelleBonJovi32imthefodeBriarSlyMalicedebbiepsych
    • 71
    • RETWEETS
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    miss_midori2______
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Overheard: "I bought the decepticon hat because the autobot hat was lame"

    Probably could have both w/ the money he's saving on condoms

    • 183
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    debbiepsychXplodingUnicornBouncerfaceTOPLAWDOGbreakfastbeerzwill_forgetHollyHealskathybotteas
    • 44
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  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Dog is sitting in the corner chewing on a tampon. Someone's gonna have to clean that up and I'm not getting laid tonight. Fuck.

    • 195
    • LIKES
    debbiepsychXplodingUnicornsun_sand_ocean__BettyLouBashEmtake2skwBouncerfaceTOPLAWDOGLeaMack31
    • 20
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  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Hang in there. 8th shot should kick in soon & I might say something funny. That or pass out. Fuck it, you rolled the dice when you followed

    • 178
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    debbiepsychXplodingUnicornBettyLouBashEmhurstlisa11BouncerfaceHollyHealskathybotteasLipLush1
    • 25
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  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    It's important to challenge yourself, hence my dicking off 6 hours & cramming 10 hours worth of work into the last 2 hours of the work day

    • 172
    • LIKES
    debbiepsychXplodingUnicornBouncerfaceIwishuwouldntmakeitworkmamajkramblesdarkagesofme__LilMamacitaDont
    • 17
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    britt_anna96BouncerfaceLilMamacitaDontrabbithole423EightTwntyEightJay_FrickinLynnSpicyGinger69AbeeGeorgina______
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Woke this morning feeling like I really excited about putting my dick in something. Hadn't planned on it being my zipper. Fuck...

    • 146
    • LIKES
    kathybotteasLipLush1mydmacJustUnstableMeh_abuya__Jenny4ashleyMoistPorkHollyMemphis
    • 11
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@RockKraller

@RockKraller

Involuntarily retired pro baseball player, lawyer, ceo and some other shit. It's not fun till someone loses an eye...

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