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  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    While I appreciate a cute or even hot 20-something girl as much as the next guy, I'd choose the sexy, smoldering 35+ woman every time.

    • 909
    • FAVS
    adarkmelodyMasochisticLifehaykshanKittieLTJbrookeivyp2_pamBook_KrazyMommy2Sean
    • 434
    • RETWEETS
    Book_KrazyJay_FrickinLynnchedz007Lengsanity1GinGander_LittleMsBossy___Jedi_DaddyMouthOfSass
    ursaconfemin9KindOfASmartass__HoGoLightlyRackOfSteel______
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    My kids can program our DVR from a cell phone & figure out any video game in 2 mins, but I'm the only 1 who knows how a fuckin plunger works

    • 676
    • FAVS
    hippocroteezadarkmelodyNFLforDUMMIESMasochisticLifeKittieLTJbrookeivyBamKnoxPmerrily
    • 273
    • RETWEETS
    MasochisticLifeKittieLTJJay_FrickinLynnpreyeduhhRainForSaleDaSpaarkgdub411NerySaenz
    pizzajaynowlife_suckerBelvAndBourb
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    I give guys driving mini vans plenty of room. I figure there's already a reduced will to live & they're probably 1 straw away from snapping

    • 508
    • FAVS
    adarkmelodyMasochisticLifehaykshanCnelson019CarolLesasLifeshita3yosaysKittieLTJrippedkilt
    • 257
    • RETWEETS
    Cnelson019Carolshita3yosaysKittieLTJJay_FrickinLynn_LittleMsBossy___daddyboots2__SexySarcasmicms73
    Voiceofgarth
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    My hand...on the small of your back as we enter the room...just a small reassurance that you're safe...

    and completely mine.

    • 365
    • FAVS
    adarkmelodyMasochisticLifehaykshanKittieLTJThe_Dorkster______SmoothDadbrookeivyMommy2Sean
    • 223
    • RETWEETS
    adarkmelodySmoothDadbrookeivyJay_FrickinLynn_LittleMsBossy___PeachyiskOl_Brown_Eyesbeyondsweetkaty
    MouthOfSassblondecalamityMoistPorkPeaceAddictionOne_FineMesshipchkk
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Her: There's a hand print on my ass
    Me: Yes
    Her: Why?
    Me: Were you naked & in my bed?
    Her: Yes
    Me: I don't understand the question

    • 383
    • FAVS
    adarkmelodyMasochisticLifebrookeivyMikeSpitler_Bad_KarmaMommy2SeanJay_FrickinLynn_LittleMsBossy___
    • 143
    • RETWEETS
    _Bad_KarmaJay_FrickinLynncsmith5050Alessandra__456PinUpGirl34______KeshiarghDebbieB99136301__MSgtCeeCee
    life_suckerCherrym_1982
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    My favorite aspect of twitter....no matter how much we banter, none of you fuckers are coming to my house or expecting me to come to yours

    • 389
    • FAVS
    adarkmelodyhaykshanKittieLTJRealPrincessKimStamford2104brookeivykaraitisvoiceJay_FrickinLynn
    • 131
    • RETWEETS
    renees_echos______Jay_FrickinLynnCameron_LaraSpicyGinger69EightinchgoatjoseejojojoTHEDUTHCHESSHCOswald
    calvoquinnBlazedDonuts______
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Wife painted the bathroom lite pink. I kinda like it...



    Who am I kidding, I picked it cuz sometimes I wanna soak in the tub & feel pretty

    • 388
    • FAVS
    adarkmelodyCnelson019CarolKittieLTJShurrlzJay_FrickinLynnFlyonthewall_bcpotter77randomlady74
    • 95
    • RETWEETS
    shita3yosaysKittieLTJJay_FrickinLynn_LittleMsBossy___Eightinchgoatguruprasad_44Jenny4ashleyaveuaskew
    SupportPets_
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    I swear...I think restaurants with drive thru's identify the dumbest employee and say "here, you get to wear the headset"

    • 311
    • FAVS
    hippocroteezKittieLTJPmerrilyJay_FrickinLynn_LittleMsBossy___Happenstance5wendyraepearceOhYeahILied
    • 107
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnOhYeahILiedShockTartBionicGuttaLikeNoOthaMLNYC_Bailey__SpicyGinger69Eightinchgoatok_get_serious
    KingPatrick24
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Though I've done so tens of thousand of times, simply touching her still excites me.

    • 281
    • FAVS
    adarkmelodyhaykshanKittieLTJJay_FrickinLynn_LittleMsBossy___ShockTartBionicLindaInDisguiseSoFuckingMature__
    • 70
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnR15S5crazyjet379TampaBayMommaJenny4ashleyFavstar250illuminatedwndrAbeeGeorgina______
    calvoquinnFallun_Angel__SupportPets_
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Jesus....this guy's driving like he's tweeting.

    Wait that's me...

    Sorry dude, I'll get out of your lane now.

    • 271
    • FAVS
    adarkmelodyKittieLTJJay_FrickinLynn_LittleMsBossy___ViciousHeadbuttShockTartBionicLindaInDisguiseSoFuckingMature__
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynn_LittleMsBossy___ViciousHeadbuttShockTartBionicGenesis__1SpicyGinger69EightinchgoatTHEDUTHCHESS
    Jazzzzzmina
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    If you don't have anything nice to say, we can still hang out. If you dont have anything intelligent to say, go read a book & catch me later

    • 205
    • FAVS
    adarkmelodyKittieLTJJay_FrickinLynnShockTartBionicLindaInDisguiseSoFuckingMature__TinaMavR15S5
    • 100
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyJay_FrickinLynn__iCE_CREAM__Septimus216Alessandra__456HaniBABAsarahspicer______GetCougarized
    hipchkk
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Holding hands is underrated.

    • 178
    • FAVS
    momopfaceadarkmelodyhaykshanKittieLTJFaithAliQJay_FrickinLynnLindaInDisguiseSoFuckingMature__
    • 102
    • RETWEETS
    adarkmelodykaraitisvoiceJay_FrickinLynnShotOf_TayquilatoomuchaubreyMouthOfSassaphrodiiteTinaMav
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Gave the wife a choice this morning....golf course or intercourse.

    I'm 3 under at the turn.

    • 230
    • FAVS
    hippocroteezadarkmelodyJojo_51213haykshanKittieLTJPmerrilyJay_FrickinLynn_LittleMsBossy___
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    hippocroteezDwptDuncanhaykshanJay_FrickinLynnALadiesHearttfa1977maxper63ShaneGilliatt
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Always takes me a few mins to remember that southern women have an extra something in their DNA that makes 'em a lil sexier than the rest

    • 208
    • FAVS
    hippocroteezadarkmelodyhaykshanrenees_echos______Jay_FrickinLynnL_BellsCivettuolo83_LittleMsBossy___
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnCivettuolo83_LittleMsBossy___trlazygirlryan9billion______BrunodarottMouthOfSassGuttaLikeNoOtha
    miss_midori2______
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Some of you fuckers scare me. Not in a "clock tower shooter" kinda way...more in an "allowed to vote and procreate" kinda way

    • 138
    • FAVS
    haykshanKittieLTJrenees_echos______JPoor314Jay_FrickinLynnmtnbikerdenisclara_blanchekayleighpuget
    • 97
    • RETWEETS
    karaitisvoiceJay_FrickinLynnFuLLtiMECutter_LittleMsBossy___darlingshelly72puremeaningr_wolfcastlelanerbanana
    JustCallMeFrank
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    I love watching her...hearing her breath as she sleeps...contented smile on her face. I wish for her peaceful dreams that match her beauty

    • 199
    • FAVS
    hippocroteezadarkmelodyKittieLTJJay_FrickinLynnShockTartBionicLindaInDisguiseSoFuckingMature__MouthOfSass
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnMukundadevR15S5crazyjet379SaraESpiveymiss_midori2______RyMWalker1982SharpesEyeView
    MzCupMyCakes______
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Overheard: "I bought the decepticon hat because the autobot hat was lame"

    Probably could have both w/ the money he's saving on condoms

    • 165
    • FAVS
    KittieLTJJay_FrickinLynnSoFuckingMature__R15S5MehhshleyEightinchgoatcrazyjet379SolelyB
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnEightinchgoatmrt1minked_trixSlick503Rick______canadasandraSaraESpiveyCHOFarmer
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Dog is sitting in the corner chewing on a tampon. Someone's gonna have to clean that up and I'm not getting laid tonight. Fuck.

    • 176
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnShockTartBionic__iCE_CREAM__MouthOfSassR15S5MehhshleyEightinchgoatcrazyjet379
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynn__iCE_CREAM__SaraESpiveyShoutingGoddessOhhScarlet23______BlazedDonuts______TheOneTrueDiscoKindOfASmartass__
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    Hang in there. 8th shot should kick in soon & I might say something funny. That or pass out. Fuck it, you rolled the dice when you followed

    • 161
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynn_LittleMsBossy___ShockTartBionicR15S5MehhshleyEightinchgoatAthenaMystiqueilluminatedwndr
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynn_LittleMsBossy___illuminatedwndrAbeeGeorgina______laffytakkyScottyCorpse______SagDec15SaraESpivey
  • RockKraller
      Michael @RockKraller

    It's important to challenge yourself, hence my dicking off 6 hours & cramming 10 hours worth of work into the last 2 hours of the work day

    • 157
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnR15S5Alessandra__456MehhshleyEightinchgoatSpicyGinger69crazyjet379SolelyB
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnSpicyGinger69AbeeGeorgina______SaraESpiveysamyspaz__________Sutton_SpeakslglmossLoli_Sug
@RockKraller

@RockKraller

Involuntarily retired pro baseball player, lawyer, ceo, coach, Jeep addict & some other shit. It's not fun till someone loses an eye...