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After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage. Don't marry a cunt.
Dinner out with the GF and just because I'm 37 and she's 21 people called me pedophile. Ruined our 10th anniversary.
If John Lennon were alive he'd use Justin Bieber's lyric sheets as toilet paper.
How the fuck does someone like John Lennon get murdered, and Katy Pery gets a 3D movie, and no ones even tried to run over Justin Bieber?
To assholes with non-you avis, picking on girls who have the courage to post theirs even if they are self conscious? You're scum cowards.
I am trying to get Tampax to sponsor my twitter account. Can any of you get me in? Maybe pull some strings?
Every broken trust as a child, festers as darkness in the grown up soul.
Someone fucking ELSE just told me if I used cleaner language, they would RT me more. This is twitter, cunt. Quit being a fucking pussy.
The followers I like best are off beat, flawed, charismatic, hurting, survivors who can make me relate with them through honesty and humor.
Don't look back and beat yourself up. I lived that, and swam in the bottom of the bottle for twenty years. Let shit go. Forgive yourself.
Ever look in your fridge, over and over, hoping something good will magically appear? Welcome to refreshing my fucking timeline.
My point of view is neither right or wrong. However, it's educated, relevant, and born of individual thinking. So go fuck yourself.
Just went outside and confirmed it is in fact hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain. Well played, Guns N' Roses.
I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer whatever the fuck you're buying.
When did Marilyn Manson change his name to Lady Gaga?
Some people smoke weed to get high. I smoke weed to get normal.
If my appearance and attitude make you think I'd like to rough you up during sex, you're correct. You win a bruised throat, princess.
They should invite twitter users on Fear Factor. First challenge : Leaving the house and actually going somewhere.
I hate the phrase 'Kids will be kids.'
It should be replaced with 'Bad parenting results in little jerks.'
Hypocrite. Rude. Opinionated. Liberal. Bi-polar. Pothead. Better than you. 29 tattoos. Gorgeous. Funny. I won't follow back. 21+ Fuck off cunts.
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