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"Que crees? Que cago dinero?" #MexicanParents
I'm not fat, I'm just so sexy that it overflows.
I'm so fucking bipolar. I could be bawling my eyes out at one moment, then be vomiting rainbows like 5 minutes later.
I hate bothering people. I hate being a burden. I hate being such an annoyance, that's why I don't talk to you. I'm fearful of being boring.
girl: "lets do something romantic tonight." guy: "blowjob?" girl: "i said ROMANTIC!" guy: "blowjob by moonlight?" #EPIC
People start paying attention to you, only when they realize you don't need them anymore.
I let my cats do whatever they want cuz I love them.~
Fabulous people don't deserve to suffer. Why do I suffer?
If drugs and alcohol are all you talk about, we can't date.
Hey, I just met you... -changes station- ...and this is crazy -changes station- ..but here's my number -changes station- ...so call me maybe
That awkward moment when someone thinks they're too "twitter famous" to reply to your tweet.
I want a cute grandma-knit sweater. c:
Ohp, you're too "twitter famous" to reply to my tweet? Sorry, I forgot.
When people tweet retarded stuff on your timeline and you just feel like hitting them with a pan.
I wanna kiss the fuck out of you
Uriel's a criminal cuz is illegal to be so handsome & sweet. He makes everyone go asdfghjkl. His turtle Charlie's cute. You'll love him but never like I do♡ - J