Lol more like $0 in savings. “@uberfacts: The average teenager carries about $30 in cash and keeps $742.70 in a savings account.”

"Que crees? Que cago dinero?" #MexicanParents

I'm not fat, I'm just so sexy that it overflows.

I'm so fucking bipolar. I could be bawling my eyes out at one moment, then be vomiting rainbows like 5 minutes later.

I hate bothering people. I hate being a burden. I hate being such an annoyance, that's why I don't talk to you. I'm fearful of being boring.

"iWouldCryIf @thelife0fjustin @geeadri_ @heytujohana @robseratops @hairspray__ @h8onmehbr0 @ohaii_tee &^ @tayziiethegreat unfollowed me. lol

My #39000th tweet goes to @itzysandy @marilynecm @geeadri_ @memohhliscious @ohhatrocity @abcdfu @hairspray__ @oscarorgasm & @heyloser :)

#FF @justinsdope @geeadri_ @raptoralexa @gore__jess @eatmyraiinbow @bulletforsummer @blah_itsjames @pat_the_pimp @zombieseatval (:

girl: "lets do something romantic tonight." guy: "blowjob?" girl: "i said ROMANTIC!" guy: "blowjob by moonlight?" #EPIC

People start paying attention to you, only when they realize you don't need them anymore.

I let my cats do whatever they want cuz I love them.~

What caused the earthquake... http://t.co/M2OULjNU

Fabulous people don't deserve to suffer. Why do I suffer?

If drugs and alcohol are all you talk about, we can't date.

Hey, I just met you... -changes station- ...and this is crazy -changes station- ..but here's my number -changes station- ...so call me maybe

That awkward moment when someone thinks they're too "twitter famous" to reply to your tweet.

I want a cute grandma-knit sweater. c:

Ohp, you're too "twitter famous" to reply to my tweet? Sorry, I forgot.

When people tweet retarded stuff on your timeline and you just feel like hitting them with a pan.

I wanna kiss the fuck out of you