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  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    “Lol, are you seeing this?” - fish watching us swim

    • 283
    • FAVS
    LittleJimmy61BlackCheesePielife_goes_on76CackleClubfarmarmsMuSuBi19SenoritaPudding__Raoul_Duke_71
    • 107
    • RETWEETS
    SadieMegertS8804life_goes_on76farmarmslicquourRaoul_Duke_71thejoegofficialJake_Sniff
    Raoul_Duke_71
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    “Um.” - 1st horse that got ridden

    • 10k
    • FAVS
    THE_JacobBroomZacMartschingjustineyweenyyhemoffknolan93misscakes_AndrewHasCatsjoeyyoung_
    • 7,493
    • RETWEETS
    ZacMartschingYourFavSamPieceknolan93ethan_boxmisscakes_AndrewHasCatsZainBilbessiSarahCaitlyn28
    SteveSuckingtonPlaying_DadLisaGoodwin1letsgetgizzyduplicitronpattymoglenna_optSamGrittnervaporcoffinPeachCoffinmerican_ninjylawblobBDGarpGeoroyoAredubbleyou______mikescollinsjwoodhammadamezoobleMissBamantha1missmayn
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    If that kid in The Shining had been more of a player, he'd have tried to see if those twins would kiss.

    • 366
    • FAVS
    s0m4h__Raoul_Duke_71Jeni_DeckerKingOfTheStereotradjazzcatr_wolfcastleVernz04Alec_Wise
    • 133
    • RETWEETS
    WesPapageorgioVernz04hazelmotes1Kym_beer_leeSceuteronomyMySharona1987exceptionsJenny4ashley
    AllTheUglyTruthPaperWashBromanConsul
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    *double jumps you on the trampoline* anyway ill just ask if you can stay over tonight

    • 114
    • FAVS
    blissfulhillaaarubsundressed__madamezooblespace__elevatorjacob_fistElektraLuxxxemilyybranch
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    JonnyBadasssmuffinlabInternetuser92glitteringvoidDannybelliveauChuglowtake1xtie1xdaym0onsquad
    ElektraLuxxx
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    "Um, can we get like three baguettes popping out of the top of that sack of groceries?" - Most all film directors

    • 601
    • FAVS
    plantandmineralRaoul_Duke_71TitaniumToplassamelialikesyoujane_botNicCageMatchkennedylryanWhoopdeedoo22
    • 254
    • RETWEETS
    shannonmastelJ_OHHHHHmetalforfishshaeshaedaltonl1ll1lllBowbrownLetdownLizziejaxlrose
    BrandogramsSCbchbumSeanBlazed
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    “Here, you can just have some of mine.” - me as one of those kids in the Trix commercials

    • 163
    • FAVS
    LowkeyTwitsflashemberbotandynotjeffryanKingWereBearSwartzTherapist_MaridithJoydefinemine
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    _MaridithJoymargosamplearandomhimDBwiddaDBByWayOfAlaskajewfacekillaBrief_Kasebarnonahill
    PeachCoffinglenna_opt
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    Do you wanna be player 1 or player 2 in this relationship?

    • 209
    • FAVS
    marvelousCarathatAndrewCPoguePhilosophyplfrederickMuhammedHariricesarAalvarezcatAshtrophe_NaughtIllUs
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    trilllmommeganhalandRazzleNblu_twilighteyes08BookishBunnyDarthNisaabizarrequotesKostimografTW
    vladchoc
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    Opened these packages of fruit snacks very quietly so maybe a part of myself wouldn't hear.

    • 121
    • FAVS
    clarissa_daviesTylerylimeslygotejongalaASpikerklttenzGoodOpinionManmichaeljhudson
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    MrJamesCharismaellerollandslygotefavstar1000favsjohntoconnorHashtagJoanyJeepGypsyishluvmyptcruiser
    r_wolfcastle
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    Tired of washing my whole body every day.

    • 75
    • FAVS
    Bounse44suzy_saintShelbyyKateJennyPentlandHiK_Byeeverylilthingcaseyhatesboyshell_doe
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    69shadesoftaarApocalypseBnGlivevarSunnyyySinghFavstar500FavsBirdmanAttorneyjessicarisdonAvatar_unknown_48
    jrflockton
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    Your neck tattoo says "Only God can judge me," yet here I am.

    • 2,280
    • FAVS
    kennedylryancarolineyallsuperrrmoonellye01meera_higginsonJackBrosnan_chrisboyddotnetslowsilences
    • 1,832
    • RETWEETS
    JoceyDonanpandarevoltmomhugsjoelclydesmithJess_LWilliamscyberkatycuntleryTurnDownFoWatt
    louise_vuittonmikescollinsBeeStaplervaporcoffinMiahSaintletsgetgizzykokupuffSarcasmo718Kim_pulsiveAhm76jayna_patrice
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    “One adult for the Hobbit” is now the saddest thing I’ve said two years running.

    • 477
    • FAVS
    kennedylryansallyelegantsherrithepeachCackleClubRaoul_Duke_71TitaniumToplassNicCageMatchseptembawest
    • 213
    • RETWEETS
    Raoul_Duke_71Jonny_DoddsjesswootynotronwestEricJ319FarazA_freemisterclarkEricvdWoude_
    SCbchbum
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    "Have you tried sleeping? Okay. And you've had enough burritos lately? Hmm. Well, this is puzzling." - me as a doctor

    • 451
    • FAVS
    Raoul_Duke_71septembawestWhoopdeedoo22dannykookooBrandogramsgayyybeconnor_weightsylvsylv
    • 174
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historylaineybearswagsylvsylvJacinthiaJonesJRLynch1313SadPerunaadamcohen15Awk0Tacoo
    spitfirehussy__naazihahGageBoston
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    “Nice try, you fucking slut,” is a phrase I wish more people would shout at me for no reason, not just that homeless lady from a second ago.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    NickBossRosscharlzeroTHEPokerWifeJennifergr8dsmitty_62ShaunaContr0l____gregelrooletsgetgizzy
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    dsmitty_62arkenstoner_MobyDixonbrandibraandiFavstar_NSFWtimeforgoericgunder22kuuuurrrnn______
    dsmitty_62
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    I’m going to be fucked if the police ever need me to give them someone that can confirm my whereabouts like anytime ever.

    • 63
    • FAVS
    NickBossRoss712_ScarWinterfistamandaraj5698felicitydelmarayyhluscucaseyhatesboysshancoads
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    69shadesoftaarsirpeezy_JossBossashleeerikareedfelicitydelmarrlg_11oMissCarrieBabyoverEZmariezee
    ayyhluscu
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    “And what’s this?” “It’s a Papa John’s mega pizza cookie.” - me showing an alien some of our stuff

    • 164
    • FAVS
    septembawestNickBossRosspicklemintpartybluntslutxxmark_oh_snapHotSnuff__________ded_squirrelAlexaSaunders
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    carlitaclbTheKritended_squirrelmeg609jillianmccammonNSlandermanScienceJesusemmavictoria92x
    letsgetgizzy
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    I would’ve been embarrassed if I’d been that lady in the Psycho because I probably would’ve been lying down in the shower when he burst in.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    skinnymarieNickBossRossdnmac27Jeff29680bmarked21ShaunaContr0l____GrayShaynaoverEZmariezee
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    dnmac27ShaunaContr0l____SocialMediaLia____MagYamartinoMissHeather95ASpikerFavstar500FavsADraganis
    WookieOnUnicorn
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    I respect how the Hamburglar was like, "Hey, I know I'm at rock bottom here, but I'm going to be professional about it and wear a tie."

    • 2,078
    • FAVS
    TMWrenchKarenLyneButlersherrithepeachcharrrllaafingerbangsNorsebyswBenjamsonDunsScottus
    • 1,281
    • RETWEETS
    alcaponerawlinsJenX73stellamydogMetricButtloaddtipsonbravenewgrrrlFrigginboomrim_bod
    ARobustLoofahHome_HalfwayVikeeysSecretmadamezooblelanyardiganDeanB15primawesomeKim_pulsiveKendragardenrobfeeChelsea_Elle
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    Tom Cruise is one of those guys who makes you watch him play single player video games.

    • 943
    • FAVS
    Raoul_Duke_71Playing_DadTitaniumToplassjane_botREALityDUMBpangieevee__el_savvygrykes
    • 474
    • RETWEETS
    jshadeduboisdjshankyswagereinahr_wolfcastleInitials_numberJMidwestdisfiguredselfbobbyrosenthal
    SamGrittnergreenteam15pjlynchMiahSaintMaruBean____
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    Pregnant women are basically sexy landlords.

    • 77
    • FAVS
    NickBossRossShaunaContr0l____PatrickTodd84TorpidPulsareriknaydiukricprickCeej416TheSofiya
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    madelieportmanSchoolerLAstarZshipTyKeelingnuramieraaaaleeyayasminlucwhite1KizerBillhelm
    stevesimas
  • rorynotroy
      rordolph @rorynotroy

    Spent all last night mouthing words to my dog to try and convince him that he'd gone deaf.

    • 426
    • FAVS
    singingdoves13HeyRache__gaggedwithspoonRaoul_Duke_71abbi_with_an_iapopagasmlandrews7lopuspocus
    • 177
    • RETWEETS
    gaggedwithspoonRaoul_Duke_71robocopsmomdjshankyswagnickmullenspitfirehussy__whitefireofhelltrolllyn__
    ARobustLoofahvaporcoffinpantsIagreewithjoekatiefzack
@rorynotroy

@rorynotroy

not avoiding people just denying them my essence

Tweets from @rorynotroy most recently awarded Tweet of the Day by Pro Members.