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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    If that kid in The Shining had been more of a player, he'd have tried to see if those twins would kiss.

    • 364
    • FAVS
    Jeni_DeckerKingOfTheStereotradjazzcatr_wolfcastleVernz04Alec_WiseISOremarkablegypsykline
    • 133
    • RETWEETS
    WesPapageorgioVernz04hazelmotes1Kym_beer_leeSceuteronomyMySharona1987exceptionsJenny4ashley
    AllTheUglyTruthPaperWashBromanConsul
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    *double jumps you on the trampoline* anyway ill just ask if you can stay over tonight

    • 114
    • FAVS
    blissfulhillaaarubsundressedmadamezooblespace__elevatorjacob_fistElektraLuxxxemilyybranch
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    JonnyBadasssmuffinlabrealhumanskullglitteringvoidDannybelliveauChuglowtake1xtie1xdaym0onsquad
    ElektraLuxxx
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    "Um, can we get like three baguettes popping out of the top of that sack of groceries?" - Most all film directors

    • 599
    • FAVS
    TitaniumToplassamelialikesyoujane_botNicCageMatchkennedylryanWhoopdeedoo22Rhoffman20apopagasm
    • 253
    • RETWEETS
    J_OHHHHHmetalforfishshaeshaedaltonl1ll1lllBowbrownLetdownLizziejaxlroseimeanijustcant
    BrandogramsSCbchbumSeanBlazed
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “Here, you can just have some of mine.” - me as one of those kids in the Trix commercials

    • 147
    • FAVS
    ODeadInsideDBwiddaDBMiss_Krystine__emcoladyhowcroftwarmyellowlightDadLiesjewfacekilla
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    DBwiddaDBByWayOfAlaskajewfacekillaBrief_KasebarnonahillkyballzHaleyasfuckjordnashly__
    PeachCoffinglenna_opt
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “Um.” - 1st horse that got ridden

    • 8,524
    • FAVS
    issyripleyy_SirenKn1ghtwill_weber4j0nmrtnum8erBenFrashuresambammyyahongc
    • 6,264
    • RETWEETS
    ooniedermieroowill_weber4avadwoodsfoxygrandpa67j0nmrtncanders114nole_ritzLaurenWisnor
    LisaGoodwin1letsgetgizzyduplicitronpattymoglenna_optSamGrittnervaporcoffinPeachCoffinmerican_ninjylawblobBDGarpGeoroyoAredubbleyou______mikescollinsjwoodhammadamezoobleMissBamantha1missmayn
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Do you wanna be player 1 or player 2 in this relationship?

    • 209
    • FAVS
    marvelousCarathatAndrewCPoguePhilosophyplfrederickMuhammedHariricesarAalvarezChuness_NaughtIllUs
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    trilllmommeganhalandRazzleNblu_twilighteyes08BookishBunnyDarthNisaabizarrequotesKostimografTW
    vladchoc
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Opened these packages of fruit snacks very quietly so maybe a part of myself wouldn't hear.

    • 121
    • FAVS
    clarissa_daviesTylerylimeslygotejongalaASpikerklttenzbighatfunnymichaeljhudson
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    MrJamesCharismaellerollandslygotefavstar1000favsjohntoconnorHashtagJoanyJeepGypsyishluvmyptcruiser
    r_wolfcastle
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Tired of washing my whole body every day.

    • 75
    • FAVS
    Bounse44suzy_saintShelbyyKateJennyPentlandHiK_Byeeverylilthingcaseyhatesboyshell_doe
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    69shadesoftaarApocalypseBnGlivevarSunnyyySinghFavstar500FavsBirdmanAttorneyjessicarisdonAvatar_unknown_48
    jrflockton
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Your neck tattoo says "Only God can judge me," yet here I am.

    • 2,240
    • FAVS
    TitaniumToplassrorydangerjoycecaptainfeedlejane_botnocturnologycheessedizzpereguinnthek3ymast3r
    • 1,817
    • RETWEETS
    cheessedizzneletmathek3ymast3rScortes929GypsyFireQueenJ3nnnzVargheseeeeAyyy_itsme
    louise_vuittonmikescollinsBeeStaplervaporcoffinMiahSaintletsgetgizzykokupuffSarcasmo718Kim_pulsiveAhm76jayna_patrice
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “One adult for the Hobbit” is now the saddest thing I’ve said two years running.

    • 473
    • FAVS
    TitaniumToplassNicCageMatchseptembawestvaporcoffinpangieeveeLettersHiBromanConsulNickBossRoss
    • 212
    • RETWEETS
    jonny_doddsjesswootynotronwestEricJ319FarazA_freemisterclarkEricvdWoude_shannonsing
    SCbchbum
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    "Have you tried sleeping? Okay. And you've had enough burritos lately? Hmm. Well, this is puzzling." - me as a doctor

    • 450
    • FAVS
    septembawestWhoopdeedoo22dannykookooBrandogramsgayyybeconnor_weightsylvsylvArcadem
    • 174
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historylaineybearswagsylvsylvJacinthiaJonesJRLynch1313SadPerunaadamcohen15Awk0Tacoo
    spitfirehussynaazihahGageBoston
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “Nice try, you fucking slut,” is a phrase I wish more people would shout at me for no reason, not just that homeless lady from a second ago.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    NickBossRosscharlzeroTHEPokerWifeJennifergr8dsmitty_62ShaunaContr0l____gregelrooletsgetgizzy
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    dsmitty_62waItervvhiteMobyDixonswamplegsFavstar_NSFWtimeforgoericgunder22kuuuurrrnn______
    dsmitty_62
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    I’m going to be fucked if the police ever need me to give them someone that can confirm my whereabouts like anytime ever.

    • 63
    • FAVS
    NickBossRoss712_ScarWinterfistamandaraj5698felicitydelmarayyhluscucaseyhatesboysshancoads
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    69shadesoftaarsirpeezy_JossBossashleeerikareedfelicitydelmarrlg_11oMissCarrieBabyoverEZmariezee
    ayyhluscu
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “And what’s this?” “It’s a Papa John’s mega pizza cookie.” - me showing an alien some of our stuff

    • 164
    • FAVS
    septembawestNickBossRossFlambeauxxx_bluntslutxxmark_oh_snapHotSnuff__________julzvainAlexaSaunders
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    carlitaclbTheKritenjulzvainmeg609jillianmccammonNSlandermanScienceJesusemmavictoria92x
    letsgetgizzy
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    I would’ve been embarrassed if I’d been that lady in the Psycho because I probably would’ve been lying down in the shower when he burst in.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    skinnymarieNickBossRossdnmac27Jeff29680bmarked21ShaunaContr0l____GrayShaynaoverEZmariezee
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    dnmac27ShaunaContr0l____SocialMediaLia____MagYamartinoMissHeather95ASpikerFavstar500FavsADraganis
    WookieOnUnicorn
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    I respect how the Hamburglar was like, "Hey, I know I'm at rock bottom here, but I'm going to be professional about it and wear a tie."

    • 1,955
    • FAVS
    trentalzBro_nadsShirleyEweKissyMonster1RachelZamstein1WhatevaConcBumdercleeseCevansTalent
    • 1,210
    • RETWEETS
    lynnnn_lynnNatesleafsWhatevaConcFaliqAzranbpujjiMrMegamowmanblendysupermd
    ARobustLoofahHome_HalfwayVikeeysSecretmadamezooblelanyardiganDeanB15primawesomeKim_pulsiveKendragardenrobfeeChelsea_Elle
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Tom Cruise is one of those guys who makes you watch him play single player video games.

    • 941
    • FAVS
    TitaniumToplassjane_botREALityDUMBpangieeveeel_savvynolovelostttr_wolfcastlerealtraphorse____
    • 474
    • RETWEETS
    jshadeduboisdjshankyswagereinahr_wolfcastleInitials_numberJMidwestdisfiguredselfbobbyrosenthal
    SamGrittnergreenteam15pjlynchMiahSaintMaruBean____
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Pregnant women are basically sexy landlords.

    • 77
    • FAVS
    NickBossRossShaunaContr0l____PatrickTodd84TorpidPulsareriknaydiukricprickCeej416TheSofiya
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    madelieportmanSchoolerLAstarZshipTyKeelingnuramieraaaaleeyayasminlucwhite1KizerBillhelm
    stevesimas
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Spent all last night mouthing words to my dog to try and convince him that he'd gone deaf.

    • 422
    • FAVS
    abbi_with_an_iapopagasmlandrews7lopuspocusEmilyHaarsonofolgaHegelsBagelsManda_like_wine
    • 175
    • RETWEETS
    robocopsmomdjshankyswagnickmullenspitfirehussywhitefireofhelltrolllyn__TheCoolretweetsLeonelPardo2
    ARobustLoofahvaporcoffinpantsIagreewithjoekatiefzack
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Remember to focus on losing weight for most of your one life that you have to live.

    • 255
    • FAVS
    septembawestKevinFarzadWhoopdeedoo22littlemix432BromanConsul2kgordoshmooney12SarahSodini
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar2502kgordooMissCarrieBabyLookAwayMomDadJUSTLisandraThingsmyybfsaysKittenMiracleVN_Ruben
    Lisabug74
@rorynotroy

@rorynotroy

not avoiding people just denying them my essence

Tweets from @rorynotroy most recently awarded Tweet of the Day by Pro Members.