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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    It would be SO embarrassing to be on trial for murder.

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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “Lol, are you seeing this?” - fish watching us swim

    • 293
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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “Um.” - 1st horse that got ridden

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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    If that kid in The Shining had been more of a player, he'd have tried to see if those twins would kiss.

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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    *double jumps you on the trampoline* anyway ill just ask if you can stay over tonight

    • 137
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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    "Um, can we get like three baguettes popping out of the top of that sack of groceries?" - Most all film directors

    • 606
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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “Here, you can just have some of mine.” - me as one of those kids in the Trix commercials

    • 164
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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Do you wanna be player 1 or player 2 in this relationship?

    • 210
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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Opened these packages of fruit snacks very quietly so maybe a part of myself wouldn't hear.

    • 121
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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Tired of washing my whole body every day.

    • 75
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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Your neck tattoo says "Only God can judge me," yet here I am.

    • 2,328
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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “One adult for the Hobbit” is now the saddest thing I’ve said two years running.

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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    "Have you tried sleeping? Okay. And you've had enough burritos lately? Hmm. Well, this is puzzling." - me as a doctor

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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “Nice try, you fucking slut,” is a phrase I wish more people would shout at me for no reason, not just that homeless lady from a second ago.

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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    I’m going to be fucked if the police ever need me to give them someone that can confirm my whereabouts like anytime ever.

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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “And what’s this?” “It’s a Papa John’s mega pizza cookie.” - me showing an alien some of our stuff

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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    I would’ve been embarrassed if I’d been that lady in the Psycho because I probably would’ve been lying down in the shower when he burst in.

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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    I respect how the Hamburglar was like, "Hey, I know I'm at rock bottom here, but I'm going to be professional about it and wear a tie."

    • 2,166
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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Tom Cruise is one of those guys who makes you watch him play single player video games.

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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Pregnant women are basically sexy landlords.

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@rorynotroy

@rorynotroy

not avoiding people just denying them my essence // snapchat/instagram: rorynotroy

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