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  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “Lol, are you seeing this?” - fish watching us swim

    • 285
    • FAVS
    MacKooliothelittlephraseLittleJimmy61BlackCheesePielife_goes_on76CackleClubfarmarmsMuSuBi19
    • 107
    • RETWEETS
    SadieMegertS8804life_goes_on76farmarmslicquourRaoul_Duke_71thejoegofficialJake_Sniff
    Raoul_Duke_71
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “Um.” - 1st horse that got ridden

    • 10k
    • FAVS
    baby_foot_rockapaulpalinkasGrandmastaHenwuLila_BrandtBellaDeVaanSalamAyanajacobhottberryThrill_Tweeter
    • 7,528
    • RETWEETS
    sensual_burritoMacKooliofatemaalbadericeolatingkyleTkeanecarmillz0CottonCandyPlipsixfootcandy
    SteveSuckingtonPlaying_DadLisaGoodwin1letsgetgizzyduplicitronpattymoglenna_optSamGrittnervaporcoffinPeachCoffinmerican_ninjylawblobBDGarpGeoroyoAredubbleyou______mikescollinsjwoodhammadamezoobleMissBamanthaamissmayn
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    If that kid in The Shining had been more of a player, he'd have tried to see if those twins would kiss.

    • 398
    • FAVS
    MacKooliohopewellcody_TommyJusticeJust_JakeingmarissasucksDouche_KevDBwiddaDBNotJamesRuntas
    • 140
    • RETWEETS
    MacKoolioSamaad_AhmedRealAudfutureTazZolmanGreeneyedMofophoquetopusNealandersonfanCodyStormPanic
    AllTheUglyTruthPaperWashBromanConsul
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    *double jumps you on the trampoline* anyway ill just ask if you can stay over tonight

    • 114
    • FAVS
    blissfulhillaaarubsundressed__madamezooblespace__elevatorjacob_fistElektraLuxxxemilyybranch
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    JonnyBadasssmuffinlabInternetuser92glitteringvoidDannybelliveauChuglowtake1xtie1xdaym0onsquad
    ElektraLuxxx
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    "Um, can we get like three baguettes popping out of the top of that sack of groceries?" - Most all film directors

    • 603
    • FAVS
    MacKooliothelittlephraseplantandmineralRaoul_Duke_71TitaniumToplassamelialikesyoujane_botNicCageMatch
    • 254
    • RETWEETS
    shannonmastelJ_OHHHHHmetalforfishshaeshaedaltonl1ll1lllBowbrownLetdownLizziejaxlrose
    BrandogramsSCbchbumSeanBlazed__
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “Here, you can just have some of mine.” - me as one of those kids in the Trix commercials

    • 164
    • FAVS
    thelittlephraseLowkeyTwitsflashemberbotandynotjeffryanKingWereBearSwartzTherapist_MaridithJoy
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    _MaridithJoymargosamplearandomhimDBwiddaDBByWayOfAlaskajewfacekillaBrief_Kasebarnonahill
    PeachCoffinglenna_opt
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Do you wanna be player 1 or player 2 in this relationship?

    • 209
    • FAVS
    marvelousCarathatAndrewCPoguePhilosophyplfrederickMuhammedHariricesarAalvarezcatAshtrophe_NaughtIllUs
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    trilllmommeganhalandRazzleNblu_twilighteyes08BookishBunnyDarthNisaabizarrequotesKostimografTW
    vladchoc
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Opened these packages of fruit snacks very quietly so maybe a part of myself wouldn't hear.

    • 121
    • FAVS
    clarissa_daviesTylerylimeslygotejongalaASpikerklttenzGoodOpinionManmichaeljhudson
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    MrJamesCharismaellerollandslygotefavstar1000favsjohntoconnorHashtagJoanyJeepGypsyishluvmyptcruiser
    r_wolfcastle
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Tired of washing my whole body every day.

    • 75
    • FAVS
    Bounse44suzy_saintShelbyyKateJennyPentlandHiK_Byeeverylilthingcaseyhatesboyshell_doe
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    69shadesoftaarApocalypseBnGlivevarSunnyyySinghFavstar500FavsBirdmanAttorneyjessicarisdonAvatar_unknown_48
    jrflockton
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Your neck tattoo says "Only God can judge me," yet here I am.

    • 2,312
    • FAVS
    DMAMA232323itsme_ctinaXHellOnHeelsXKenHuxley1Multitudes8SoGoFuXGroverXGelasticGoGo
    • 1,856
    • RETWEETS
    MacKoolioXHellOnHeelsXKenHuxley1monica_againSoGoFuGelasticGoGofucksundaysrob5373
    louise_vuittonmikescollinsBeeStaplervaporcoffinMiahSaintletsgetgizzykokupuffSarcasmo718Kim_pulsiveAhm76jayna_patrice
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “One adult for the Hobbit” is now the saddest thing I’ve said two years running.

    • 477
    • FAVS
    kennedylryansallyelegantsherrithepeachCackleClubRaoul_Duke_71TitaniumToplassNicCageMatchseptembawest
    • 213
    • RETWEETS
    Raoul_Duke_71Jonny_DoddsjesswootynotronwestEricJ319FarazA_freemisterclarkEricvdWoude_
    SCbchbum
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    "Have you tried sleeping? Okay. And you've had enough burritos lately? Hmm. Well, this is puzzling." - me as a doctor

    • 452
    • FAVS
    thelittlephraseRaoul_Duke_71septembawestWhoopdeedoo22dannykookooBrandogramsgayyybeconnor_weight
    • 174
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historylaineybearswagsylvsylvJacinthiaJonesJRLynch1313SadPerunaadamcohen15Awk0Tacoo
    spitfirehussy__naazihahGageBoston
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “Nice try, you fucking slut,” is a phrase I wish more people would shout at me for no reason, not just that homeless lady from a second ago.

    • 79
    • FAVS
    thelittlephraseNickBossRosscharlzeroTHEPokerWifeJennifergr8dsmitty_62ShaunaContr0l____gregelroo
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    dsmitty_62arkenstoner_MobyDixonbrandibraandiFavstar_NSFWtimeforgoericgunder22kuuuurrrnn______
    dsmitty_62
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    I’m going to be fucked if the police ever need me to give them someone that can confirm my whereabouts like anytime ever.

    • 64
    • FAVS
    thelittlephraseNickBossRoss712_ScarWinterfistamandaraj5698felicitydelmarayyhluscucaseyhatesboys
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    69shadesoftaarsirpeezy_JossBossashleeerikareedfelicitydelmarrlg_11oMissCarrieBabyoverEZmariezee
    ayyhluscu
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    “And what’s this?” “It’s a Papa John’s mega pizza cookie.” - me showing an alien some of our stuff

    • 164
    • FAVS
    septembawestNickBossRosspicklemintpartybluntslutxxmark_oh_snapHotSnuff__________ded_squirrelAlexaSaunders
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    carlitaclbTheKritended_squirrelmeg609jillianmccammonNSlandermanScienceJesusemmavictoria92x
    letsgetgizzy
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    I would’ve been embarrassed if I’d been that lady in the Psycho because I probably would’ve been lying down in the shower when he burst in.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    skinnymarieNickBossRossdnmac27Jeff29680bmarked21ShaunaContr0l____GrayShaynaoverEZmariezee
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    dnmac27ShaunaContr0l____SocialMediaLia____MagYamartinoMissHeather95ASpikerFavstar500FavsADraganis
    WookieOnUnicorn
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    I respect how the Hamburglar was like, "Hey, I know I'm at rock bottom here, but I'm going to be professional about it and wear a tie."

    • 2,080
    • FAVS
    MacKooliothelittlephraseJaded_TomLaura_x0TMWrenchKarenLyneButlersherrithepeachcharrrllaa
    • 1,281
    • RETWEETS
    alcaponerawlinsJenX73stellamydogMetricButtloaddtipsonbravenewgrrrlFrigginboomrim_bod
    ARobustLoofahHome_HalfwayVikeeysSecretmadamezooblelanyardiganDeanB15primawesomeKim_pulsiveKendragardenrobfeeChelsea_Elle
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Tom Cruise is one of those guys who makes you watch him play single player video games.

    • 944
    • FAVS
    thelittlephraseRaoul_Duke_71Playing_DadTitaniumToplassjane_botREALityDUMBpangieevee__el_savvy
    • 474
    • RETWEETS
    jshadeduboisdjshankyswagereinahr_wolfcastleInitials_numberJMidwestdisfiguredselfbobbyrosenthal
    SamGrittnergreenteam15pjlynchMiahSaintMaruBean____
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Pregnant women are basically sexy landlords.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    thelittlephraseNickBossRossShaunaContr0l____PatrickTodd84TorpidPulsareriknaydiukricprickCeej416
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    madelieportmanSchoolerLAstarZshipTyKeelingnuramieraaaaleeyayasminlucwhite1KizerBillhelm
    stevesimas
  • rorynotroy
      rory @rorynotroy

    Spent all last night mouthing words to my dog to try and convince him that he'd gone deaf.

    • 427
    • FAVS
    thelittlephrasesingingdoves13HeyRache__gaggedwithspoonRaoul_Duke_71abbi_with_an_iapopagasmlandrews7
    • 178
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historygaggedwithspoonRaoul_Duke_71robocopsmomdjshankyswagnickmullenspitfirehussy__whitefireofhell
    ARobustLoofahvaporcoffinpantsIagreewithjoekatiefzack
@rorynotroy

@rorynotroy

not avoiding people just denying them my essence

Tweets from @rorynotroy most recently awarded Tweet of the Day by Pro Members.