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  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    *double jumps you on the trampoline* anyway ill just ask if you can stay over tonight

    • 113
    • FAVS
    aaarubAllieAmadamezooblespace__elevatorjacob_fistElektraLuxxxemilyybranchRitleySammich
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    JonnyBadasssmuffinlabrealhumanskullsaint_jude_94DannybelliveauChuglowtake1xtie1xdaybonevelvet
    ElektraLuxxx
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    "Um, can we get like three baguettes popping out of the top of that sack of groceries?" - Most all film directors

    • 594
    • FAVS
    Whoopdeedoo22Rhoffman20apopagasmsallyelegantcjs130Brandogramssgberghoffultragabe
    • 253
    • RETWEETS
    J_OHHHHHmetalforfishshaeshaedaltonl1ll1lllBowbrownLetdownLizziejaxlroseimeanijustcant
    BrandogramsSCbchbumSeanBlazed
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    “Here, you can just have some of mine.” - me as one of those kids in the Trix commercials

    • 135
    • FAVS
    mackenzie_hume_Sarah_DarlingsirpeezyquintywintiesasimpleseancharlzeroZeroDecorumCelebrityChez
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    HaleyasfuckjordnashlyScottie_PadgettVN_RubenrankingTweetsalexisannejonesAlastor666________GinGander
    PeachCoffinglenna_opt
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    “Um.” - 1st horse that got ridden

    • 6,787
    • FAVS
    carrerasajkianjones9maddysdiamondsEliD99aronbrodersnuytten4candyxiuminnezumeme
    • 5,113
    • RETWEETS
    redemmanemsbrithashbrownlanadelcourtneykyraswzbrecklabergecandyxiuminthainiponiearthtohelena
    LisaGoodwin1letsgetgizzyduplicitronpattymoglenna_optSamGrittnerRitleySammichPeachCoffinmerican_ninjylawblobBDGarpGeoroyoAredubbleyou______mikescollinsjwoodhammadamezoobleMissBamanthamissmayn
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    If that kid in The Shining had been more of a player, he'd have tried to see if those twins would kiss.

    • 239
    • FAVS
    maggers_piBromanConsulJLuedersNCRadicalEdjamesjhamiltonthirtyonejkpsalexlovesyouJuggsMastor
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    bonertardMonsterMash20XbobbylawGoon_adsPaltenceVoShikjonathanlallyMuscledSiblinggegtik
    BromanConsul
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    Do you wanna be player 1 or player 2 in this relationship?

    • 209
    • FAVS
    marvelousCarathatAndrewCPoguePhilosophyplfrederickMuhammedHariricesarAalvarezChuness_NaughtIllUs
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    trilllmommeganhalandRazzleNblu_twilighteyes08BookishBunnyDarthNisaabizarrequotesKostimografTW
    vladchoc
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    Opened these packages of fruit snacks very quietly so maybe a part of myself wouldn't hear.

    • 121
    • FAVS
    clarissa_daviesTylerylimeslygotejongalaASpikerklttenzbighatfunnymichaeljhudson
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    MrJamesCharismaellerollandslygotefavstar1000favsjohntoconnorHashtagJoanyInglesidePathluvmyptcruiser
    r_wolfcastle
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    Tired of washing my whole body every day.

    • 75
    • FAVS
    Bounse44suzy_saintShelbyyKateJennyPentlandHiK_Byeeverylilthingcaseyhatesboyshell_doe
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    69shadesoftaarApocalypseBnGlivevarSunnyyySinghFavstar500FavsBirdmanAttorneyjessicarisdonAvatar_unknown_48
    jrflockton
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    Your neck tattoo says "Only God can judge me," yet here I am.

    • 2,211
    • FAVS
    pangieevee_sydney5296yaawingssallyelegantBurds_1xl_designmistermcgee9BromanConsul
    • 1,803
    • RETWEETS
    420skullsFrickinDelanieallCATS_noFUCKSfuckgarrettQewForShortmistermcgee9el_savvykittykittykola
    louise_vuittonmikescollinsBeeStaplerRitleySammichMiahSaintletsgetgizzykokupuffSarcasmo718Kim_pulsiveAhm76jayna_patrice
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    “One adult for the Hobbit” is now the saddest thing I’ve said two years running.

    • 470
    • FAVS
    RitleySammichpangieeveeLettersHiBromanConsulNickBossRossTheFauxtagonisthughringWatch7ower
    • 212
    • RETWEETS
    jonny_doddsjesswootynotronwestEricJ319FarazA_freemisterclarkEricvdWoude_shannonsing
    SCbchbum
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    "Have you tried sleeping? Okay. And you've had enough burritos lately? Hmm. Well, this is puzzling." - me as a doctor

    • 449
    • FAVS
    Whoopdeedoo22dannykookooBrandogramsgayyybeconnor_weightsylvsylvArcademgreenteam15
    • 174
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historylaineybearswagsylvsylvJacinthiaJonesJRLynch1313SadPerunaadamcohen15Awk0Tacoo
    spitfirehussynaazihahGageBoston
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    “Nice try, you fucking slut,” is a phrase I wish more people would shout at me for no reason, not just that homeless lady from a second ago.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    NickBossRosscharlzeroTHEPokerWifeJennifergr8dsmitty_62ShaunaContr0lgregelrooletsgetgizzy
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    dsmitty_62haIfmoonrunMobyDixonswamplegsFavstar_NSFWtimeforgoericgunder22kuuuurrrnn____
    dsmitty_62
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    I’m going to be fucked if the police ever need me to give them someone that can confirm my whereabouts like anytime ever.

    • 63
    • FAVS
    NickBossRoss712_ScarWinterfistamandaraj5698felicitydelmarandreeahluscucaseyhatesboysshancoads
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    69shadesoftaarsirpeezy_JossBossashleeerikareedfelicitydelmarrlg_11oMissCarrieBabyoverEZmariezee
    andreeahluscu
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    “And what’s this?” “It’s a Papa John’s mega pizza cookie.” - me showing an alien some of our stuff

    • 163
    • FAVS
    NickBossRossFlambeauxxx_bluntslutxxmark_oh_snapHotSnuffjulzvainAlexaSaundersSCbchbum
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    carlitaclbTheKritenjulzvainmeg609jillianmccammonNSlandermanScienceJesusemmavictoria92x
    letsgetgizzy
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    I would’ve been embarrassed if I’d been that lady in the Psycho because I probably would’ve been lying down in the shower when he burst in.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    skinnymarieNickBossRossdnmac27Jeff29680bmarked21ShaunaContr0lGrayShaynaoverEZmariezee
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    dnmac27ShaunaContr0lSocialMediaLiaMagYamartinoMissHeather95ASpikerFavstar500FavsADraganis
    WookieOnUnicorn
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    I respect how the Hamburglar was like, "Hey, I know I'm at rock bottom here, but I'm going to be professional about it and wear a tie."

    • 1,630
    • FAVS
    jennazhang133pangieeveesallyelegantlopuspocusNickFloramyles_morrisonYouWillGo2Helldjemmett
    • 1,043
    • RETWEETS
    nickmullenthomasrummellRobert_Zeiglerdakoter818SaraghAdamsiptay3AustinNissengmattcarson
    ARobustLoofahHome_HalfwayVikeeysSecretmadamezooblelanyardiganDeanB15primawesomeKim_pulsiveKendragardenrobfeeChelsea_Elle
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    Tom Cruise is one of those guys who makes you watch him play single player video games.

    • 938
    • FAVS
    pangieeveeel_savvynolovelostttr_wolfcastlerealtraphorseNickFloramyles_morrisonBeardSpice
    • 473
    • RETWEETS
    djshankyswagereinahr_wolfcastleInitials_numberJMidwestdisfiguredselfbobbyrosenthalDanComand
    SamGrittnergreenteam15pjlynchMiahSaintMaruBean
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    Pregnant women are basically sexy landlords.

    • 77
    • FAVS
    NickBossRossShaunaContr0lPatrickTodd84TorpidPulsareriknaydiukricprickCeej416TheSofiya
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    madelieportmanSchoolerLAstarZshipTyKeelingnuramieraaaaleeyayasminlucwhite1KizerBillhelm
    simasito
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    Spent all last night mouthing words to my dog to try and convince him that he'd gone deaf.

    • 421
    • FAVS
    apopagasmlandrews7lopuspocusEmilyHaarsonofolgaHegelsBagelsManda_like_winenickmullen
    • 175
    • RETWEETS
    robocopsmomdjshankyswagnickmullenspitfirehussywhitefireofhelltrolllynTheCoolretweetsLeonelPardo2
    ARobustLoofahRitleySammichpantsIagreewithjoekatiefzack
  • rorynotroy
      Rory @rorynotroy

    Remember to focus on losing weight for most of your one life that you have to live.

    • 254
    • FAVS
    KevinFarzadWhoopdeedoo22littlemix432BromanConsul2kgordoshmooney12SarahSodiniKayArePea
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar2502kgordooMissCarrieBabyLookAwayMomDadJUSTLisandraMOHRcrunkKittenMiracleVN_Ruben
    Lisabug74
@rorynotroy

@rorynotroy
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