Make your iPhone into an iPod touch just by inserting an O2 sim card

"What is Johnny Depp's character in Pirates of the Caribbean?"...."Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." Classic Amy Childs.

#WhenIWas13 I was 13.

@realdonaldtrump Donate the money then if it is such a shame.

#thingsthatshouldbebanned Retarded trending topics, like this.

"I LOVE DUBSTEP!!" No, you only listen to Skrillex, sit down.

Hahahahahaha Susan Boyle made a hashtag for her new album. I don't think she read it twice. #susanalbumparty

If you flirt with someone that has a boyfriend or girlfriend, you are a really really shitty person.

Siri, find me local drug dealers in order of highest ratings.

When you think about it, chicken omelettes are fucked up. Like cooking parents in their unborn babies. Weird.

Feel so sorry that @tomdaley1994 had to see the one bad tweet out of thousands of amazing support messages. #WereProudOfYouTom

Siri, make me a sandwich.

Dean has deleted the status where he says he is getting engaged. That's it lads, wedding off

Hate when people say "I like skinny girls" or "I like girls with curves". If you truly liked a girl, you wouldn't care about their size.

"BELIEBERS RUN THE GALAXY" - No, you don't. The galaxy (fortunately) isn't run by a bunch of moronic adolescents.

"Stay hungry. Stay foolish." - Steve Jobs

Bet Ms McKinnon will vomit at the sight of so many pupils not in uniform tomorrow.

Don't retweet this.

Missed a word out I think, lads..... pic.twitter.com/PNJkRgeW27

So in love with Kylie Jenner it hurts